You thought the killer tornadoes recently were bad? "You ain't seen nothing yet!" scientists say, sucking their teeth and letting out a low whistle.
According to a new study from a team of climate scientists, it's not just the coastal elites who will be swept away by global warming-powered storms by the end of the century—regular folks down in the heartland will also be picked up and tossed to hell by tornadoes and thunderstorms, as well. From the New York Times:
By the century’s final 30 years, the study forecasts, the eastern United States could experience severe thunderstorms an average of nearly 7.5 spring days, an increase of almost 42 percent... The largest single increase, an average of more than 2.4 days, was likely from March through May across parts of Texas, Oklahoma and Louisiana.
Also more tornadoes, probably. So, you Red Staters, you have another few decades of electing climate change deniers like James Inhofe, before the rain and thunder and winds come and destroy you, along with the rest of us. At that point we shall all be unified, in sogginess.