A New Mexico man is hoping to identify the jogger who he says has pooped next to his home at least four times since April. “This is malicious fecal distribution,” the man said.
According to the man, who asked not to be identified, the first defecation near his home took place on Easter Sunday. At first, the man assumed it was a homeless person relieving himself. Then he saw video from a nearby surveillance camera. In the video, you can see a female jogger turn from the road, enter an alley next to the man's home, run to a wall, and squat.
“[Then] she drops her pants and let's go and pulls her shorts up without wiping or anything,” the man said. “She's come back multiple times.”
The man, worried police wouldn't take him seriously, turned to New Mexico ABC-affiliate KOAT for help. While he's not ready to call the cops quite yet, the man said he's not above low-grade vigilantism.
“If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!'” he said.
And who can blame him, when the woman has allegedly left a mess like this outside his home at least four times: