Two Saturdays ago, a LaGuardia Airport worker drove a Southwest Airlines stair car to get pizza for lunch. The New York Post was tipped off to this possible misuse of equipment because that's the tabloid's specialty: cracking down on any sort of proletarian malfeasance that helps make its cranky old readers feel superior about their middling work ethics. Even better, this particular pizza-romping joyride offered the pop-cultural bonus of taking place in a vessel reminiscent of Arrested Development's Bluth Company vehicle.
So the Post looked into the incident and got quotes from a DMV spokesperson, a Port Authority spokesman, and a Southwest Airlines public-relations official. And Jason Bateman, because calling him to comment on a real-world stair car is sorta kinda funny.
Michael Bluth's human analogue was not amused:
“I get what you’re trying to do. But you know I can’t comment,” he told The Post. “And please don’t call me. Do you understand? You have to go through a publicist. It’s totally unprofessional.”
"You seem more villainous than usual," Bateman continued, "Are you sober?"
To contact the author of this post, contact email@example.com.