Ode to cowardly love? No, it somehow becomes an accusation from the lips of Aaron Carter, leveled at his brother and former Backstreet Boy Nick, after one of the sorriest, most embarrassing, and apparently most ineffectual beatdowns ever (almost) captured on video. Damned closing door! Apparently there was something to that Aaron-Nick erotic torment over Paris Hilton, after all. Anyway, here's to a blatantly charming viral meant to build buzz for E!'s House of Carters by running footage with unbleeped profanity.

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