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Posts Tagged “
Advertising, Valleywag
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Sadvertising
Digital Baubles Alleviate Crushing Pain Of Modern Life
Attention nerds: retailers are extremely interested in your imaginary nerd money. And they're coming into your nerd land to woo you! Specifically by purchasing all types of "dynamic in-game ads" in the new version of The Sims—a computer game featuring attractively rendered digital versions of nerds performing mundane tasks such as washing dishes and going to the grocery store, which are "fun" only in comparison to the sad isolation and anomie of the modern nerd's real life. Not only can you buy virtual Ikea furniture and H&M clothes in a pallid simulacrum of the American dream; now, you can play in a world free of the unrelenting pain of your everyday existence: More »
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Online Privacy Threatens Ads! Is It Worth It?
Online marketing companies: do we give them enough information about our lives? Emily Steel, a 24-year-old reporter for the WSJ, bravely uses herself as a guinea pig to determine that, no, these shadowy firms don't know quite enough about us to be able to target us with ads effectively. If the threat of missing out on perfectly customized ads doesn't convince Americans to throw open our private data to unaccountable corporations, I don't know what will: More »
Embarrassments
Microsoft Picks Another Apple Lover For Its Ad Campaign
First Microsoft hired proven Mac lover Jerry Seinfeld to crappily kick off its new $300 million ad campaign. Then the company dropped Seinfeld and brought in a slew of new celebrities to declare their love for PCs. Including hip hop star Pharrell—Another. Proven. Apple. Lover. Research! Payoffs! Do something, Microsoft! Pictured, Pharrell and his beloved golden iPhone. Here's a video where he describes his Mac tendencies. Fiasco! Ridiculous! And here's a brand new Microsoft ad with Pharrell declaring he is, in fact, a PC: More »
Family Guy
This Is Funnier Than The Time That Seth MacFarlane's Online Cartoon Comedy Project Arrived
Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy is here! Half of you are like "GOD, I hate that nonsensical hack and his stupid storyline-lacking Family Guy." The other half of you lie, "Yea, me too." This new project doesn't hide the Burger King sponsorship, but these cartoon shorts actually fit MacFarlane's style better than the TV show; there's only time for one joke, so a storyline is a moot point. Seeing these things all over the web will only speed up the looming (unjustified) MacFarlane backlash, but we'll go out on a limb and predict: It will make him a(nother) shitload of money. The first two shorts are after the jump. Dogs and video games are the stars, naturally: More »
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Microsoft: Saving Itself With Celebrities Galore?
This morning we learned that Microsoft had selected the $10 million spokesman to revive its uncool brand: Vintage Mac aficionado Jerry Seinfeld. The collective response could be summed up as, "Really, him?" But Seinfeld may be just be one small part of the Microsoft coolness project! Fishbowl LA is reporting that the company's ad wizard and diet book author Alex Bogusky is considering lots of other celebrities for the campaign to help convince you that Vista is a smart buy. The (real) list of those purportedly under consideration: More »
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Mac-Loving Seinfeld Endorsing Microsoft For $10 Million
In an effort to promote its poxy Windows Vista operating system, Microsoft is paying Jerry Seinfeld $10 million for an endorsement, the Wall Street Journal reported this morning. Yes, because if there's one surefire way to convince everyone Vista is cool, cutting edge and not liable to get frazzled by life's minor complications, it's hiring a 1990s sitcom star and professional kvetcher! Who, um, very visibly owned a series of Macs on his show. This is Microsoft's worst promotional concept since, well, since its last Vista campaign, the Mojave Experiment, which decisively proved that people hate Vista but will use it if they are tricked into thinking it's something else, like a stable, functional tool. Here's how Madison Avenue is responding: More »
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iTunes Steals Mad Men's Smokes
The image you see on top is a standard ad for Mad Men, AMC's series about hard-paryting admen in the good old days that conveniently advertises itself everywhere. The image on the bottom is what you see when you visit iTunes to purchase the full season of Mad Men. The difference? On iTunes, the man has had his cigarette taken away. Steve Jobs does not understand the point of this show at all. Click to enlarge the Apple-approved scrubbing of our culture.
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Online Marketers Want To Spy On Your Private Moments
Let's imagine that you are the friendly consumer, and the internet, where you do your shopping, is a series of stores. Then imagine that all the people who want to sell you ads are spies, following you from store to store and noting what you like to look at, so they can advertise that thing to you. Then think about what kind of internet "store" you've been going to. That's right, the porn store! This is the real reason people are mad about online ad targeting. Stop looking at us look at porn just so you can learn to sell us more porn! More »
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