• Beer king Pete Coors gets a DUI; in an era of corporate corruption, it sure is nice to see an executive who really loves his product. [Denver Post]
• If you're going to have a complex, might as well develop it in your infancy: pictures of Suri Cruise aren't worth half as much as those of Shiloh. [TMZ]
• At 7 PM tonight, a pompous clusterfuck will descend upon Soho House. Worse than usual, we mean. Here's your guide to understanding why the fuck Toby Young's book party is so random. [Eat the Press]
• Leonardo DiCaprio films at old mob haunt in Brooklyn; borough's celebrities-are-here arrogance grows 37%. [NewYorkology]
• A handy guide to the MySpace profiles of all your favorite D-list reality stars. [Jane]
• Speaking of D-List, agent Roger Paul revels in the joys of managing Screech. What's not to when the guy's packing 8-inches of hot geek meat? [NYP]
• The rules of office restroom etiquette: "Dancing in front of the auto-flush to the tune of 'Material Girl' playing in your head wastes water and will summon your boss to the bathroom like a beacon. Don't." [The World According to Tom]
• How not to gracefully accept that you didn't get the job. [PR Differently]
• The Post knows there's only one way to cover the "bartha bartha" explosion on East 62nd Street: by focusing on the hot girl who was tragically injured. A video of her almost getting killed? Even hotter. [NYP]

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