Gawker: Aleksey Vayner

Tips On Street Fighting from Yale Fantasist Aleksey Vayner

Sheila — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:48:59 EDT

Once upon a time, a junior Yalie named Aleksey Vayner sent a C.V. with a link to a hubristic, ill-advised "video resume" to a Wall Street bank. It featured him lifting weights, doing judo, and spewing truisms about the nature of success. He was mocked, but he followed his own advice: failure is simply not an option. (He wrote a self-help book.) Now he's back on the internets, "helping" us about the "latest trends in hedge funds" and "how to win a street fight." Weird: if you read his advice on winning a street fight correctly, you can also find information on how to survive, say, life in the New York media mob:

The real question is how do you survive a street fight?

Do not fight. Avoid physical confrontation at all cost... ONLY IF the fight is absolutely unavoidable, here are a few other suggestions:

* Do not say a single word. Look directly into the person's eyes while remaining as composed as possible. Take your weight slightly off your heels.

The silence alone might save you while the other guy is thinking why you are so composed, why don't you say a word, you probably know something he does not, you might be a very good fighter etc. Let the silence psyche the person out.

* Do not focus on wining the fight!

If you are focused on winning a fight, and are inexperienced, you will tense up and will not see the dirty moves that are coming your way. Your objective in the fight should be to protect yourself and to get out in the first possible window of opportunity.

We have a lot to look forward to with this blog! Also, Vayner promises to dish in the future: "A few of you also mentioned that I am not as personable in my writing as I am in real life, and that I don't write often enough. I will make sure that some entries are more personal than others."

Aleksey Vayner Borrows Book Cover From Non-Internet Phenom

Pareene — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 10:21:43 EST

Aleksey Vayner is so back. Did you hear? And just to ensure that we would continue writing about him, he made this thing—the cover of Millionaires' Blueprint to Success: Discover the Secrets of Wealthy elite, his "upcoming" "book"—look just like that thing—the cover of some other dude's book. He also shortened the banner line from the cumbersome "Think Rich to Get Rich" to the snappier "Think and Grow Rich." It really is brilliant insight into the secrets of Wealthy elite! Steal and dumb down! [IvyGate]

The Triumphant Return of Aleksey Vayner!

Joshua Stein — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 00:00:09 EST

While no one thought he would fully disappear, for a while in late 2007 it seemed Aleksey Vayner had faded away. Earlier in the year, the inaugural inductee into the Gawker Hall of Fame had been severely mocked for his fabulist and fabulously hubristic video resume. And then he went deep underground. But 2008 smoked him out whatever anonymous labyrinth in which he sought refuge. And now, on his new website he's flying dangerously close to the sun once again. Though he admits he "received his share of mockery from kids in the bloggosphere," he still wants you to know he can bench press 520 lbs.

Aleksey Vayner first received international publicity as a student at Yale University when he created a marketing peace of himself – a video, titled Impossible is Nothing, where he summed up his view on ‘success’ and showcased some of his athletic pursuits. He received his share of mockery from kids in the bloggosphere, [That's us!] but more notably, was featured in NY Times, interviewed by Yale herald, and appeared on MsNBC News and 20/20.....Aleksey Vayner’s story is one of discipline and perseverance thought the hardships of immigration. The youngest of three siblings, Aleksey is born in Tashkent, Uzbekistan to Ph.D. parents. His father, abusive to the family, indulges in hobbies that included professional rock climbing, Olympic-level swimming, and skiing.

His sister had hepatitis. He was eating trash. Then he got into Yale. And now, apparently he wrote a book called Millionaires' Blueprint to Success: Discover the Secrets of Wealthy elite. It's "comming soon..." but Amazon never heard of it. Anyway! We return to New Haven. It's freshman year. Vayner is on the cusp of failure.

During freshman year he recalls nearly failing introductory macroeconomics because he was up for 3 days developing a high probability derivative strategy based off of the Black-Scholles options pricing model. “It was crazy, I could really create options spreads to hit the wings of the bell, and take profits with an average probability of 96%!” While at Yale University Aleksey picked up ballroom dancing and weight lifting, but maintained his focus on his core sports, and his extracurricular studies of investment management and personal development. By graduation he has competed in ballroom, leg pressed 1650lbs, bench pressed 520lbs, started 3 businesses and a non-profit organization. Aleksey Vayner is a registered investment advisor with Securities and Exchange Commission. He is pending Certified Financial Planner and Certified Financial Analyst certifications. Aleksey is a member of USTA, ISBDF, ADFPF, SCIP, National Association of Public Speakers, and National Writers Association.

Aleksey Vayner Returns To New York City!

Joshua Stein — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 16:20:59 EDT

Aleksey Vayner, the most popular Halloween costume of 2006, plagiarist, fabulist and the king of all banker-boy douchebags, has come to New York City begging for a job and amends. Why the delay? As Dealbreaker notes, Vayner graduated in May and "was going to go pro in tennis, with a debut playing doubles in the US Open. Unfortunately, his partner hurt his wrist two hours before their match."

So now he's sending out his resume. One on paper, not on video!

He's still a writer though! A new book called Millionaires' Blueprint for Success is a follow-up to his first book that actually never existed, Women's Silent Tears: A Unique Gendered Perspective on the Holocaust.

Gone too are his bona fides as a Tai Chi Chuan master and Chinese healer. In the renovation, he's also lost his ability to speak Spanish and his membership in the Society of Competitive Intelligence Professionals! Why, he's a shell of a man.

New Resume [Dealbreaker]
Old Resume [Ivygate]

What Am Possible?

Chris Mohney — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 14:00:22 EST

DealBreaker points out an overlooked (by us) gem from the holiday season: Arrested Development's Michael Cera in a spot-on Aleksey Vayner parody clip, created for some well-intentioned McSweeney's/Dave Eggersian event. Complete with dancing, artistry, and extremely awkward singlets in a physical fitness context.

Gawker's Personalities of the Year

Doree Shafrir — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 15:40:33 EST

As 2006 huffs toward its inexorable end, we decided to take a moment to recognize those personalities that made our job that much more tolerable this year. These are the people who gave us endless fodder for our douchebag mill, who were attracted to the spotlight like moths to a flame, whose stated disdain for our coverage of them was contradicted by their almost pathetic attempts to court it. The adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity has never felt more apt.

If you've been paying attention to Gawker this year, you should recognize most of the names on this list. (We've given you a little preview at right. We'd never leave the Tinz off our list!) They're the people who've distracted you, intrigued you, and sickened you (often all at the same time!) in 2006. If you've fallen behind, consider this our New Year's gift to you. We're feeling magnanimous.

Without further ado, the list of Gawker's Personalities of the Year, in no particular order, after the jump.

Judith Regan: The publisher of her eponymous imprint ReganBooks continued her reign of provocation most of the year, but almost no one could've anticipated her swift, sudden, unceremonious fall from grace. We thank her for injecting a possibly unprecedented degree of insanity and unpredictability into the normally staid publishing industry, and hope that she resurfaces soon, anti-Semitism and all.

Tinsley Mortimer: Ah, the Tinz. What do you say about a 31-year-old socialite known for a "handbag line" and her seemingly endless proclivities for partying? Oh, and giving one of the more retarded interviews to the Post in recent memory. For 2007, we hope she and Topper finally call it quits, if only because seeing her officially single would be amazing.

Derek Blasberg: Total fashion fag and socialite hanger-on (we refuse to use the word "walker"), and one of our more recent obsessions, male socialite Blasberg, joined at the hip with black socialite Genevieve Jones (see below), has managed to parlay a stint at Vogue and some freelance writing into Page Six mentions and having Lindsay Lohan at his birthday parties.

Genevieve Jones: There's something different about Genevieve Jones, don'tcha know? The Baton Rouge native, who has no job and no discernible source of income, has insinuated her way into the upper echelons of New York society, and might be behind Socialite Rank. Then again, she might not. Then again again, does anyone really care?

Alex Kuczynski: After the publication of her memoir-slash-cautionary plastic surgery tale Beauty Junkies, Alex K. was everywhere—ev-er-y-where—waxing poetic about her own beauty and everyone else's comparative ugliness. We continue to be amazed that the Times allows her off-leash in their pages. Then again, it's Thursgay Styles, and they'll publish anything.

Julia Allison: The latest in a long line of women who've landed in New York determined to Make a Splash, Allison has flirted and blogged her way to ... what, exactly? Well, she goes to a lot of parties, and she gets photographed a lot. Also, we hear she reportedly writes a dating column for one of those free papers. Anyone heard anything about that?

Aleksey Vayner: The enterprising Yale senior with the ridiculously inflated (some might say pathological) sense of self, whose resume-video was the resume-video heard 'round the world. Also known for being the charter member of the Douchebag Hall of Fame.

Jared Kushner: What do you do when you're 25, your father's just been let out of jail, and you've got a spare couple billion lying around? First, you buy the New York Observer in what some have called a fire sale. Then you buy the most expensive building in the history of the United States. Then you give interviews to various press outlets that imply that you can't wait to be the next Mort Zuckerman. A fine goal, indeed.

Jared Paul Stern: The gossipmonger got busted by Ron Burkle and his wiretap, but nary a peep about the lawsuit has been heard in quite some time. In the meantime, Stern sold his book, Stern Measures, for somewhere in the six-figure range. Oh, and also, we let him take over the site for a weekend. Oops.

Marisha Pessl: Marisha! Book hot, stage hot, TV hot, blog hot—who cares? All we know is that as long as the Special Topics in Calamity Physics author continues her reign of unfiltered bon mots, we'll have lots of fodder.

Lloyd Grove: We continue to be amazed that someone so bland was ever taken seriously as a gossiper. Now that his "multimedia" opportunity appears to have fizzled, we fully expect him to have a column in Thursgay Styles.

MisShapes: Where would we be without Leigh, Greg, and Geordon to make us feel fat and unstylish every day of our lives? We'd probably be doing a lot more drugs, that's where.

Kaavya Viswanathan: Harvard's poster child for plagiarism has picked herself up and dusted herself off, surfacing at various Harvard parties and in a women-in-business networking and philanthropic group. We foresee law and/or business school in her future. Maybe she and Aleksey will cross paths someday.

[Image via]

Rocky Vs. Aleksey: Funnier, At Least, Than 'Rocky Balboa'

Emily Gould — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 17:00:00 EST

Though the real sequel probably has slightly more competent editing. Still, enjoy! Russian accents are inherently humorous!

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Aleksey Vayner

Remainders: Aleksey Vayner, Back for More

Doree Shafrir — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 18:55:42 EST

Aleksey Vayner now inspiring the youth of our country. [IvyGate]

Merry Christmas, VNU employees! You're out of a job. [AdAge]

The federal lawsuit against Perez Hilton may set some sort of Fair Use precedent. [LAT]

Soon-to-be-dethroned Miss USA Tara Conner might have a thing for Miss Teen USA. [TMZ]

Aleksey Vayner Not Only Enterprising Douchebag From Yale

abalk2 — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 10:10:00 EDT

We're not sure how to view the latest Aleksey Vayner dispatch from the kids at IvyGate. On the one hand, the idea that a couple of "friends" of the Yale internet sensation are pitching a "memoir" of the douchebag's life says nothing good about Ivy grads (and, potentially, the publishing industry). On the other hand, who hasn't been trying to make a quick buck on the rapidly-dwindling interest in the wannabe i-banker's story? Let's face it: These are Yale graduates who, for whatever reasons, have to live in Louisville and some San Francisco exurb. This may be their only shot. But, on reflection, we're gonna go with the first impulse: the douchebag may have been outdouched. Full, repellent book pitch after the jump:

From: "Mott, Daro" [redacted]
To: "Suzanne Gluck" [redacted]
CC: "Marcelino Pantoja" [redacted]
Re: Query: Aleksey Vayner, a Memoir

October 25, 2006
Suzanne Gluck
William Morris Agency
1325 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10019

Dear Ms. Suzanne Gluck:

We would like to preface our query letter with a short paragraph about ourselves. My name is Daro Mott and I graduated from Yale University in May of 2006; I currently live and work in Louisville, Kentucky. My co-author's name is Marcelino Pantoja; he lives and works in Tracy, California and he also graduated from Yale this previous spring. We are budding writers and intend to produce a memoir regarding our puzzling friend, Aleksey Vayner, whom we met as undergraduates at Yale.

In our book, we reveal the most intriguing and entertaining Ivy League persona of today: Aleksey Vayner. The story of Aleksey Vayner is both sensational and seemingly apocryphal. On the one hand, Aleksey and his family, penniless, emigrated from Uzbekistan to the United States; at eighteen, he gained admission to Yale University as a tennis recruit. On the other hand, Aleksey Vayner sexed up his accomplishments one time too many: recently, he single handedly became the laughing stock on Wall Street after sending an eleven page r sum and promotional video to UBS AG, the world's largest asset wealth manager.

On October 9, 2006, the New York Sun went to press on Aleksey. Within the span of a week, the Wall Street Journal, the Dow Jones News Wire, Fox News, US News and World Report, London Times, Daily Mail, Forbes, the Yale Daily News, Market Watch, the New Yorker and dozens of other national and international media ran articles on Aleksey. The New York Times, the Today Show and other media picked up the story the following week. Following suit, Aleksey Vayner was featured on Inside Edition and MSNBC early this week. Blogs can't get enough. Yale students scream Vaynergate. Public interest is skyrocketing! Why?

Aleksey lifts 495 lbs of steel, clocks a tennis serve at 140mph, whirls around a ballroom dance floor with a gorgeous dancer, shatters six bricks with a karate chop, pulls off fantastic stunts with skis—he choreographs all this information and more in his promotional video. Moreover, Aleksey boasts of being the CEO of Vayner Capital Management, a partner in a mega real-estate development firm, a professional athlete and the founder of Youth Empowerment Strategies (YES), a non-profit. He even claims to have self-published a book on the Holocaust from the perspective of female survivors! Aleksey has chutzpah!

But Wall Street erupted with laughter. And they have not stopped. Aleksey is being bombarded with requests for interviews. The calls have not stopped. Wall Street circulated Aleksey's video and r sum because, Aleksey, whether we like it or not, is simply entertaining.

In the light of this, his cadre of friends proposes to write a book about Aleksey situated in Yale University where we first met him. As his closest friends and recent graduates of Yale, we have personal access to him; in other words, we are self-anointed experts of Aleksey.

In his memoir, we detail the reality that is Aleksey with a flavor made possible from having tasted the "inside scoop." We raise interesting issues and get down to bottom of life at Yale with Aleksey Vayner. We will answer soul searching questions: Who is he? What does he want out of this gift of life? What is folklore, what is reality? Did the allure of Wall Street make a zany guy even zanier? Is he a typical Ivy Leaguer? Is Aleksey Vayner legitimate or is he an imposter? We know the truth.

We look forward to speaking with you.

Respectfully Submitted,
Daro Mott
Marcelino Pantoja

It Was Only a Matter of Time: The Aleksey Vayner Book Pitch [IvyGate]

Douchebag Can't Be Certain That He's Actually Douchebag In Video

abalk2 — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 14:20:21 EDT

The Aleksey Vayner tour makes today's stop at Inside Edition. Host Deborah Norville doesn't let him off lightly: There's some manufactured outrage when Aleksey admits that he's not exactly sure if it's him in the skiing segment of his resume video. It's an awkward—and therefore delightful—moment. A couple of quibbles: How many "first interviews" with this kid can there be? Also, when Norville introduces the segment and says that Vayner is"better known as 'the college kid with the super-sized ego'"? Uh, no, Deb: He's better known as "douchebag."

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Aleksey Vayner

Douchebag Getting a Lot of Wear Out of That One Suit

abalk2 — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 16:53:45 EDT

Aleksey Vayner finally showed up for an interview today, appearing on MSNBC's Rita Cosby Live and Looking for Work. Aleksey is deeply hurt by the way people on the Internet who don't even know him assume that he's some sort of douchebag. We feel for the kid. Also joining him was attorney Christian Steuben, who once again suggested that Vayner's privacy should have been respected since "it's not like he was applying to sell hamburgers." Agreed. Because you know everyone who's working the night shift over at Hardee's sends out their douchebaggy video resumes with the full foreknowledge that it's likely to be passed along.

[RELATED: Right after this clip ends, a producer informs Rita that former Yonkers mayor John Spencer is on the phone, wanting to deny that he made comments about Hillary's surgically-enhanced pulchritude. Spencer, who's spent most of his campaign claiming that the liberal media have manufactured all the ridiculous stuff that comes out of his mouth, gave the least-convincing denial we've ever heard. Kind of a great segue: Young Douchebag and Old Douchebag come together as one.]

Also, Rita Cosby's voice. What the fuck? Seriously.

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Aleksey Vayner

Douchebag May Have a Line on Great Two-Bedroom That's Just Slightly Out Of Your Price Range

abalk2 — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 10:50:58 EDT

The suit, the clasped hands, the arrogant expression: you don't even need to read the article or know anything about the story, this photo says it all. And what it says is douchebag. Oh, yeah, Aleksey may decide to go into real estate. This story just writes itself.

A Student's Video R sum Gets Attention (Some of It Unwanted) [NYT]
Likes: Gym, skiing, karate. Dislikes: My video CV being the No 1 laugh on YouTube [Guardian]

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Aleksey Vayner

Remainders: Speaking of Douches

suki — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 18:50:01 EDT

Breaking news from Nevada. Oh, if only Mark Foley was the biggest problem the Republicans had. [Wonkette]
Take a trip down Douchebaggery Lane - Aleksey Vayner's New York [Gridskipper]
Encounters with Jason Binn. [Copyranter]
An example of non-douchiness: John Faso, Republican candidate for Governor of New York, is a friend of puking drunk journalists. [NYT]

Battle of the Douchebags: P.R. Person vs. Investment Bankers

abalk2 — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 17:50:22 EDT

After breaking his silence to Newscorp's New York Post this morning, Yale douchebag Aleksey Vayner decided against appearing on Newscorp's Fox News this afternoon. In his stead, Fox decided to interview Fraser Seitel, author of The Practice of Public Relations, as to what Vayner should do next. Nothing was particularly interesting about it, but we did enjoy this part of the segment, where Seitel calls investment bankers "self-serving," "narcissistic," and "preening." You hear that, i-bankers? You just got called out by a P.R. guy! That's got to sting.

Douchebag Hires Attorney, Cries and Moans

abalk2 — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 14:10:01 EDT

Gawker's other douchebag, Aleksey Vayner, breaks his silence today and speaks to the Post (which, as the graphic above seems to indicate, has also considered the possibility that his time in the sun may be drawing to a close). Aleksey is upset by the recent attention he's received, and has retained counsel.

"It was shocking," he said of the response. "[It has] put me and my family under a great amount of stress and greatly affected future employment in a negative sense." Vayner's lawyer, Christian Stueben, said he intends to find out who at UBS might have leaked the video and written materials and whether that person did so to "demean him."

Nah, they were probably just really impressed by the cinematography.

VIDEO RESUME LEAK HAS YALIE CRYING FOUL [NYP]

Earlier: Gawker's non-stop coverage of Aleksey Vayner

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Aleksey Vayner

abalk2 — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 18:00:22 EDT

So has the Aleksey Vayner story run its course? The folks at IvyGate, who have been at the forefront of the Hall of Fame Douchebag's internet ubiquity of late, are prepared to draw down the shade on the whole sordid tale, although not before revealing some of young Mr. Garber's outright plagiarism. We're not so sure; the mainstream media is cottoning on to the kid's charm; Inside Edition ran a piece about it today (which actually referenced yesterday's Today Show segment; it's getting a bit meta). And while brand new douchebags bring themselves to the forefront of our consciousness every day, we're not quite ready to let go. You know how it is: You never forget your first. Especially when they're nuclear-waste handling Tibetan-monk killers. We want more.

The Last Post Ever, Ever, Ever On Aleksey Vayner (We Hope) [IvyGate]

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Aleksey Vayner

Douchebag Hall of Fame: The Inevitable Charter Member

abalk2 — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 14:55:26 EDT

We want to thank you for the epic flood of douchebaggery you've unleashed upon our inbox. We'll be inducting the initial class of the Douchebag Hall of Fame all this week. Our first member needs no introduction, but the boss is always on our ass about context, so we're going to do it anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, your pioneer Douchebag is Aleksey Vayner.

ALEKSEY VAYNER (n e GARBER)

A FRIEND, A LAWYER
AND A GREAT TENNIS PLAYER
WHOSE AMAZING RECORD
OF TITANIC DOUCHERY
SHOULD STAND FOR ALL TIME.

Incredibly, the Vayner story still has legs; a new website catalogs his trail of bullshit, while the kids at IvyGate list some other fabrications. And even Eustace Tilley has taken note.

Us? We just wanna know: Does this picture looked Photoshopped to you? Because, come on.

Reminder: We Want Your Douchebags

abalk2 — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:20:35 EDT

Our call for nominations to The Douchebag Hall of Fame has resulted in a flood of Hall-worthy douchebags; keep them coming either here or via e-mail. A quick clarification: We're looking for what one commenter refers to as "internet-buzz related douchebags," not your everyday run-of-the-mill douchebag (there are so many of those that no hall could hold them all). While we tabulate your results, please enjoy this Richard Blakeley remix of Aleksey Vayner's bid for DBHF inclusion; the Yale senior is, more than anyone, responsible for this project, and probably deserves his own wing.

Earlier: By Popular Demand: The Douchebag Hall of Fame

Douchebag's Underage Douchebag Friends Taken Care Of

abalk2 — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 11:40:51 EDT

Not a lot of news on the Aleksey Vayner front this morning, except to note that the douchebag had YouTube take down his infamous video; the American heroes at IvyGate have re-upped it and it can be found here. Also, an observation: We've been getting a considerable amount of mail from shady organizations who are now creating fake Vayner profiles on their websites in hopes of a link. How sad is that? You go from promising young sociopath to spam-baiting joke in a week's time. There's something almost poetic about it. Also, we (and, apparently everyone else in the world) received a copy of Aleksey's birthday party e-mail: You'll find it after the jump.

From: Aleksey Vayner
Sent: Friday, August 11, 2006 10:46 AM
Subject: Party Invitation for You / Press Release

Dear friends,

I would like to invite you to my party in NYC on August 19th, starting
at 8:30pm, at www.Bar12.com ? A nice bar/lounge located in Midtown
Manhattan. Enjoy the company of great people, live DJ,
all-you-can-eat-appetizers, large plasma tvs, dance, and great specials
on all booze!

Besides celebrating my birthday, I just published a book, Women?s
Silent Tears and would love to use these as reasons to get together and
party with my friends! The book, available at www.LuLu.com/alekseyvayner
- is a gendered study on the Holocaust, through the eyes of survivors.

All proceeds from its sales go to fund Youth Empowerment Strategies
(www.EmpowerAChild.org), a non-profit organization for immigrant
children that my great team and I launched this summer as well (Another
great reason to party?!) Attached you'll find Publisher?s Press
Release, should you find the topic or the cause of interest to someone
you know.

So I really hope you can come, and have a great time! Celebrate, dance,
eat plenty, and of course for some of us ? just get wasted!!!
(Under-age invitees need not worry, you?re set)

1. Please reply to this email if you WILL or MIGHT come = having
semi-accurate headcount will significantly ease my life.
2. If you want/need a place to stay in the city, let me know and I?ll
take care of that on first-come, first-serve basis.
3. Under 21? = reply to this email so that your name is on a list =
getting in will not be a problem at all, guaranteed.
4. Party has no cover. You are welcome to cheap to help cover cost.

I hope to see you soon, and I hope that you are having a fantastic
summer!!!

Much Love,

Aleksey Vayner

www.LuLu.com/AlekseyVayner
www.EmpowerAChild.org

Secretly Sensitive Douchebag Likes Dancing, 'The Matrix'

abalk2 — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 17:06:58 EDT

Your personal recollections of New Haven-area douchebag^* Aleksey Veyner continue to come in. Here's our personal favorite of the afternoon:

My boyfriend is in his class at Yale and Vayner told him that he is in an underground martial arts league with Jean-Claude van Damme, who he fought. Seriously. And that these douchey antics are officially sponsored by Underarmor. AND he claims to have played Pete Sampras and though he lost 6-1, 6-1 he was "always able to hold his serve." So clearly he not only sucks at tennis, but doesn't know the rules either.

Over at Dealbreaker they've taken a trip into the man's mind; it seems frighteningly accurate. But get ready for the best part: After the jump, some screen caps from our own little douchebag's Facebook page!

The forlorn little kitty in the final frame really gets us.

^*We know, we know, but honestly? It's the mot juste.

A Lawyer Who Represents Himself Has a Douchebag for a Client

abalk2 — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 12:12:44 EDT

Dealbreaker brings word that UBS is on the hunt for whoever leaked the video of Yale douchebag Aleksey Vayner, and probably with good reason: We're hearing that Vayner is suing UBS for the video's widespread distribution. No word on whether or not Vayner will add "lawyer" to his long list of fraudulent credits, but we're sort of hoping that he does: "attorney" is the third angle alongside "investment banker" and "Eli" in the twat trifecta.

Earlier: God and Douchebag at Yale

God and Douchebag at Yale

abalk2 — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 10:30:13 EDT

So yesterday's call for further information on titanic douchebag Aleksey Vayner brought forth an outpouring of fond reminiscences from his fellow Elis. We've cleaned them up a bit for your consumption, but this first one gives you a general idea of how well-regarded the future investment banker is amongst his schoolmates.

I graduated in June and remember this [douchebag] talking way too loudly in the dining hall. In between powering whole chickens, he would high-five the smarmy, mustachioed dining hall managers and, in general, had the air of a slightly thick Afrikaner rugby player just chilling during apartheid. He also had atrocious arm acne.

After the jump, some other recollections, plus an article written about Vayner nee Garber before his freshman year. Apparently, even in high school he was a [douchebag].

Yale kids have known about this crazy [douchebag] before he even started his freshman year. As a prefrosh, Aleksey Vayner—then Aleksey Garber (doesn't the change add a certain gravitas!)—impressed his host enough to merit his own article in the campus's satire paper—The Rumpus.

[Note: See below.]

This [douchebag]'s sister is also the Director of his "charity." What a lowlife.

He also has a photo album called "Welcome to My World," which he describes as "My family and I, my friends, and my masters." ...meaning old pictures, paintings, and a bunch of other prententious crap, including more pictures of himself weightlifting, playing tennis, etc...
If ever there were douchbaggery...

Earlier: Daily Dose of Douchery (Bonus Schadenfreude Edition): Aleksey Vayner

Daily Dose of Douchery (Bonus Schadenfreude Edition): Aleksey Vayner

abalk2 — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:48:32 EDT

The young stud you see here lifting 140 lb. (each!) weights is Aleksey Vayner, Yale senior and current man in the news. The Sun reports that Vayner recently sent a resume to investment bank UBS and included a promotional video:

Mr. Vayner identifies himself on his resume as a multi-sport professional athlete, the CEO of two companies, and an investment adviser. The video depicts him lifting a 495-pound weight, serving a tennis ball at 140 miles an hour, and ballroom dancing with a scantily clad female. Finally, Mr. Vayner emerges enrobed in a white karate suit and breaks six bricks in one fell swoop. Between athletic bits, Mr. Vayner takes the opportunity to opine on success. After being described in the opening lines of the video as "a model of personal success and development to everybody," Mr. Vayner says, "Failure cannot be considered an option." He adds: "To achieve success you must first conceive it and believe in it. Remember: impossible is nothing."

Here's the video, which must be watched in full to appreciate the complete twatosity involved. Further reading should be done at IvyGate (which takes a close look at his resume and concludes "Vayner created a fake charity. He named himself CEO of a non-existent investment firm. And he plagiarized a book on the Holocaust." Dude makes Kaavya Viswanathan look like a slacker.) and Dealbreaker, which is on the story like a single hand on stack of bricks. We, of course, would also be happy to share any information you care to pass along.

Yale Student's Resume Video Raises Wall Street Eyebrows [NYS]