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bright ideas
"Seeking A Candidate? Vote For A Journalist"
The headline of this post is also the actual headline of a story in the New York Sun today. We didn't even change it, because it was already funny! The peppy little broadsheet reasons that since London just elected an ex-journalist as mayor, hey, why not here? And the neocon paper rounds up the very cream of the city's third-tier columnist crop to explain why such a feat be might hard for a member of the embittered, self-important writing class to pull off: because columnists "have too much integrity." More » -
tolerance
Alicia Colon Shocker: Not All Muslims Terrorists, Towelheads
"I found it comforting to learn from Mr. Taylor that, of the 1.3 billion Muslims in the world, 85% to 90% are traditional, non-radical believers. They belong to different ethnic groups, and only 20% live in Arab countries." —Sun columnist Alicia Colon, upon meeting her very first Muslim. [NYSun] -
Sun columnist Alicia Colon: "Most Hollywood films are sympathetic to the plight of women and teenagers caught in unwanted pregnancies. The abortion providers are saintly figures such as Michael Caine in "The Cider House Rules," for which he won an Academy Award in 1999. When a film comes along that might stir some misgiving about the loss of values in our society it's met with resistance..." Yeah, everyone remembers how they buried Knocked Up, right? [NYS]
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let us proclaim the mystery of faith
Ignorant 'Sun' Columnist Reassures Jews That She Will Not Convert Them
We have a half-developed theory that the Catholic Church's rejection of the Latin Mass in the wake of Vatican II - which instructed priests to perform the ceremony in the language of its parishioners and face the congregation, as opposed to previous practice - was a reaction to the aggressive bebop stylings of the late fifties and early sixties, where the players turned their back on the crowds and performed music that was more difficult to understand. Like a lot of the crap we spout off about, the whole idea is sort of ridiculous and without merit, but, whatever, it's not like we're shouting it out in a major metropolitan daily or anything. Because that would make us, you know, Alicia Colon. More » -
the kids wanna rock
Alicia Colon Can't Even Understand 'Charlotte's Web'
Alicia Colon, our favorite crank at The Sun, has been blogging up a storm of late. It's all the crazy you've come to expect from Alicia, condensed into bite-size bits of batshittery. Call us traditionalists, but we prefer to get our nutty natterings in full-length column form. What's she on about today? Oh, distorting a classic of children's literature! Neat! More » -
alicia colon
When Alicia Colon Paints Her Masterpiece
Colon, Alicia, Four, marker on paper (detail) More » -
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alicia colon
Alicia Colon Sings Her Songs of Love, Fecundity
So much to enjoy in the most recent Alicia Colon column (particularly the description of ludicrous polemicist Mark Steyn as "a handsome male Cassandra preaching to deaf European ears"). But it's the poetry of this passage that really got to us:By the time I was pregnant with my third child, I was getting nasty looks whenever I walked to First Avenue from my Waterside apartment with a swollen belly and my two sons in a double stroller. I'm sure many strangers were under the mistaken impression that their tax dollars were funding our existence and resented my obvious fecundity.
So that's how it happened. We need to get our scientists working on time travel now, so we can send a nanny back to the sixties and save us all a lot of aggravation. More »
How different I felt when we moved to Staten Island. Twin and triple strollers were a common sight at the mall and in Costco. Most Island restaurants are geared toward babies and large families. Playgrounds are abundant, and child-proofed. We have a huge carousel in Willowbrook Park and springtime sees Silver and Clove Lake parks teeming with babies and toddlers. Staten Island is the fastest-growing county in the state because growing families are finding the welcome mat is out for them.
My children are all adults now, and I'm awaiting my sixth grandchild. I probably could have used a nanny when mine were all young and driving me bonkers. -
new york sun
'Sun' Takes Brave Stand In Favor Of Obscenity
While many have chosen to disparage the massive bonuses "earned" by Wall Street figures this year, the stout souls at the New York Sun, whose failure to produce a financially viable business model has surely engendered their respect for any sort of fiscal acumen, take a stand for the billionaires. In an editorial yesterday, the paper declared that,News of a good year, performance-wise, at Goldman Sachs and of compensation to match for the firm's employees and executives has set some of our competitors — and no doubt, plenty of other New Yorkers — into singing carols of socialism. The New York Post's Sean Delonas, one of the great humorists in town, drew a cartoon, published in the paper, depicting the Goldman bankers as common criminals, complete with bandit masks. It's something to imagine Rupert Murdoch reading that over his cornflakes in the apartment on Fifth —
Wait a second, did they just call Sean Fucking Delonas "one of the great humorists in town"? Holy fuck, we finally understand why Alicia Colon has a column in this paper: The people who publish it are morons. More » -
alicia colon
Alicia Colon Loves Jews, Even The Impecunious Ones
In her latest Letter from Locoland, Sun columnist Alicia Colon takes a strong stand against religious bigotry:Christ is the reason for the season, and for time immemorial it was a joyous occasion celebrated by people of all faiths. The anti-Semites who blame the Jews for the war against Christmas are targeting the wrong individuals. Religious Jews have never objected to our celebration. After all, Irving Berlin wrote "White Christmas," and most of the great Christmas films of old were made by Hollywood studios headed by Jews.
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alicia colon
Alicia Colon: Gays Shop at Target
We don't spend a lot of time wondering what boggles Sun columnist/Staten Island superpatriot Alicia Colon's mind (offhand we're guessing logic, adding numbers without using her fingers, and the ability of a Thermos to keep liquids hot or cold), but yesterday an opportunity came up to watch one of the five boroughs' brightest minds in action. In the course of a column where she speculated that Wal-Mart's recent financial difficulties stemmed from customer disapproval of that corporation's membership in the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, Colon muses: More »
alicia colon
New York, 10:45 AM
Mon Dec 1
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