• altarcations

    Cougar Bride Apparently Ageless

    Rebecca Gomez of Fox Business's Happy Hour, 41, married a 31-year-old gentleman last weekend. Not that we'd know that from reading their NYT wedding announcement—as Portfolio points out, her age isn't listed in the announcement, although his is... (The Times' policy is to list the ages of both bride and groom.) [Portfolio]

    5:28 PM on Mon Oct 13 2008
    By Sheila
    5,568 views, 47 comments

    Most discussed Minsley Tortimer: do you think... she bought him those teeth? and maybe a bigger penis? caught that's kinda the 'enzyte' commercial more »

  • altarcations

    That Nanny Diaries Girl Just Got Married; Why Haven't You?

    Nicola Kraus, 33, who co-wrote the Nanny Diaries (later a Scarlett Johansson film!) with Emma McLaughlin, is in the Vows section of the Times this Sunday. She used to date "toxic freak shows," she says—but now she's married to a cute guy, David Wheir, so that's all behind her. Up until her wedding, she was suffering from that modern problem of being successful in every area but love (just like the main character in every chick-lit book!) More »

    10:52 AM on Mon Jul 7 2008
    By Sheila
    8,380 views, 56 comments

    Latest by chicoleo: Ummm...this guy is very obviously very gay. more »

  • altarcations

    Media Wedding of the Year

    Yesterday marked the merger of two rising lieutenants in Manhattan's Media Mafia as The New York Observer's Spencer Morgan and Vanity Fair executive fashion editor Alexis Bryan were married in Houston. But just who are these two newlyweds, really? More »

    1:02 PM on Sun May 18 2008
    By ian spiegelman
    6,290 views, 14 comments

  • altarcations

    Wedding Announcements So Compelling They Made A Movie

    We are not particularly proud of the fact that we saw 27 Dresses over the weekend, but it's a fact and what's done is done. (Here's the trailer, to the left.) Shame and guilt aside, the weddings section of a New York Journal is prominently featured throughout the movie. Katherine Heigl's obsessed and cuts out her favorite wedding write-ups and saves them; her love interest played by James Marsden is the Journal's lead wedding writer. As such, a much-needed bit relevancy was bestowed upon this feature. Take that, South Carolina primaries! After the jump, Altarcations' awards for the best and worst wedding announcements in yesterday's Times. More »

    9:27 AM on Mon Jan 28 2008
    By Alexisss
    4,392 views, 16 comments

    Latest by RatATatKat: Actually, G Funk stands for Gefilte Funk, which is truly terrible indeed. But hey, we like to laugh at ourselves. For more »

  • altarcations

    Multi-ethnic-est Couple And Other Awards

    Alexis Swerdloff hands out awards to the couples who celebrated their nuptials with a write-up this weekend in the New York Times. More »

    1:22 PM on Mon Jan 21 2008
    By internalexis
    7,716 views, 8 comments

  • altarcations

    Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal Are A Success!

    The Weddings and Celebrations in the Sunday 'New York Times' are a textual analysis-rebuffing, context-free and statistically random series of events described objectively that have nothing to do with the fact that you're single and still using that one dirty towel after you shower. You HUMAN FILTH. Intern Alexis judges the vows.

    Which is more matrimonabulous: Having the judge you once clerked for officiate at your wedding—or mentioning in your announcement that you were among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor? Let's see, shall we? More »

    1:50 PM on Tue Dec 18 2007
    By aswerdloff
    5,904 views, 23 comments

    Latest by whatahoot: Yeah, the insert about Brookie was in extremely poor taste. Isn't that a violation of HIPPA? Even though she died? more »

  • altarcations

    Douglas O'Connor And Jeanne Conway Are Happier Than You

    The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the Sunday 'New York Times' don't have to be read. You can totally pass it by! Then you won't feel bad that you had Wheat Thins for dinner all alone last night and let your ex-boyfriend sleep over last week, you unmarriageable piece of mess! More »

    2:10 PM on Mon Dec 10 2007
    By aswerdloff
    6,916 views, 33 comments

    Latest by GirlCat: OK, Alexis, I know you're kinda young, but your editors aren't. Can someone explain why a couple featuring a mother named more »

  • altarcations

    Martha Sutphen And Richard Stock Have Something To Sort Out

    The weekly Weddings and Celebrations section in the 'New York Times' is your guide to who is superior to you—and who is worse than whom. But don't you know: They're all winners, because they're newly-married, and you're single again, or thinking about a divorce, and just generally losing all the time. It's like the brilliant Ann Magnuson always said: Maybe you should have married Junior, the Vietnam vet parking attendant! Would it be so bad?
    More »

    1:00 PM on Mon Dec 3 2007
    By aswerdloff
    3,597 views, 24 comments

    Latest by NotAHipster: "Bronxvile"--is that supposed to be a mispelling? In any case, I like. more »

  • altarcations

    Susanne Nifong and Benjamin Baker Really Love Horses

    The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the New York Times are where we go to feel bad about not being on the boards of charitable organizations or having 'IV' after our names. And also, today, where we go to feel bad that no one has ever proposed to us in the presence of a horse. More »

    4:30 PM on Mon Nov 19 2007
    By aswerdloff
    9,077 views, 58 comments

    Latest by ouiserboudreaux: No she's not Mike Nifong's daughter. more »