Gawker

Hmm... Michael Vick seems to be available. I would scale down the K9 forces preemptively, though. Just a precaution.

Right now Harriet Myers is sitting by the phone, in her doilyed armchair, nervously biting her fingernails and hoping, hoping, hoping that George will call her and start this school year off right.

How about Bernie Kerik? It'll be like having our own real life version of Tony Soprano in the federal government.

hole

"Scooterney General" has a nice ring to it.

Who will replace Chertoff at Homeland Security? Alberto Gonzales, of course.

Five year plan: less words in government and more six-shooters.

Wait, Chertoff's real? I thought he just existed on TV, like Max Headroom.

I can't figure out why a guy who had lifetime job security (3rd Circuit appellate judge) would accept an appointment to Homeland Security, and now, to an AG position that will last, at most, for about another year.

Harriet Myers. Gotta be. She'd be a lock.

I just want to know what music they're listening to while they're playing musical chairs.
And whether it's Cheney or Barbara who's in charge of the record player.

@Ned B: He can't he has just accepted a job on The View.

hole

cutting a "hole" out of it

"Why not go for outright criminality?"

Any member of the Bush administration will provide that. It's a requirement to be hired.

For this to really go gang-busters, here is the sequence of events that needs to happen for this to be a proper conspiracy:

1. Bush must appoint Michael Chertoff the Attorney General on a recess appointment.

2. Michael Chertoff will not resign as Director of Homeland of Security, but will now have a dual role of AG and leader of Homeland Security, let's call him the General Attorney of the Homeland Directives (GAHD), just for shits and giggles.

3. Any attempt to see the decision making behind this will be stonewalled behind Executive Privilege, which now comes not only with backing of the AG, but also the Homeland Security!

4. Any attempts to now sue the Bush Administration will also be seen as jeopardizing Homeland Security, again backed by the GAHD.

5. Any attempts to bring a Bush Administration official before Congress will also be seen as jeopardizing Homeland Security, thanks to GAHD.

6. GAHD can also interrupt parts of the Constitution for the security of the homeland, say the 22nd Amendment.

7. Any attempt to look into what appears to be mass election fraud in 2008 will also have to be taken up with GAHD.

@LittleLolly: Doing what? Forgetting?

@Itsjustcatnip: Has to be Barbara, the only song Dick Cheney knows is the Darth Vader theme.

Ya'll are just scary.

Hey, Jeb needs a job.

@AndIAmTellingYou:

Like the Kennedys, but uglier and more eeeeeeeeeeevil.

I liked Gonzales because even his hair seemed to be winking at us. Sigh.

Gawker is against America. If I could find our great country on a map, boy would I be peeved!

Alberto fears no law. He realized long ago that, without a neck, he could never be hanged.

Whomever he appoints, I have a feeling the snake is going to choke to death on its own tail.

@Ned B: Exactly. It would be a weekly segment entitled what did Alberto Forget This Week. Then Joy Behar and Elizabeth Hassleback would get into a smackdown over whether he actually forgot anything.

Genius programming.

Karion- it is all about the Benjamins.
Read the Rolling Stone article "The Great Iraqi Swindle"- all part and parcel. These guys all got to protect their backs for just another 18 months or so - then it is all gravy.

@Otto-Reimer: GAHD only knows!