Comment A: I find it wonderful that one of these moneyed dipshits had enough of his subconscious still operating that it forced him to refer to Coconut Grove. Anyone who had HBO in 1984--and that includes this irrelevant, repellent ass, obvs--will remember the "Remember When" episode about Coconut Grove, where 492 people were burned to death in 1959.

Comment B: Is that annoying little unfunny--never once funny, never even possibly funny--queen from Will and His Manish Lady Friend the only pic you have on hand for these stories?

After reading that, I'm reminded of why I'm so happy to finally be a FORTIESGAY.

Just like listening to '50s housewives. Which one is Lucy and which Ethel?

@trai_dep: Well, obvs Ethel is the one eating the pumpkin cake.

ethel : "hey girl, want a donut?"

as someone who was there 20 years ago, i'm so glad to see nothing has changed.

As a desert person, I'm just mystified by everything said and done in these trips to the gay ways of the east.

I guess my western gay friends have a completely different culture.... or whatever.

@Ian Spiegelman:

All this bitter rage and I'M the one who gets railroaded over some Julia Allison hate mail? Jesus Christ, what a world.

Did this blog entry continue to be so tedious right to the end? I quit mid-stream but just have to ask...

@Bentpost: I'm so glad I'm a BIOLOGICALWOMAN. I like to think that women have a trace of irony, but perhaps just the crowds I hang with.

I don't think I've ever had a conversation about blueberries.

These columns are great but depressing: I feel like I should give up on Gay and go for '80s-era Stipe or Morrissey.

I don't even know where Fire Island is. All I know is that Frank O'Hara got hit by a dunebuggy there, which is enough reason to avoid it.

"Brunch" "Pantry" and "Blueberrys" can be overheard... that line sums up the vapid internal dialogue these GAYS exhibit. yet i want to hear more. it's a strange attraction. almost like my JFC obsession. keep 'em coming!

I think that this might be my favorite play...although I think Othergay and Houseguest are gonna miss the firework by participating in the dog show on M.V. this weekend.

I hope the visiting VINEYARDGAY remembers her Nantucket Red capris.

i like the Sasquatch-esque sighting of throwback BIOL WOMAN at the end -- streaking across the perfect tableau like some sickening omen of species de-evolution. A chilling portent, indeed.

@reillykat:

Mention the word "vagina", and everyone squeals "Ewwwww!"

@depardoo:
'Ovaries' has the same effect.

Yes, new picture, please! Howzbout CHANELGAY?

@tammyfey: The author does not put in the picture or write the headlines, btw. Maybe a rooftop shot of me in the pines wearing American Apparel swimmies?

BIOLOGICALWOMAN--that shit made me laugh my head off, momo.

@momo: Yeah, yeah, it's always someone else's fault, huh? If you're going to go the American Apparel route, I think you should do a riff on that jazzy, JCPenney-circa-1982 leggings ad. Perhaps a collage of your gams in all of the different colors: a rainbow effect.

I'm ADDICTED to these Fire Island dispatches! More, more, more, please! Laugh out loud funny, and then I get to escape each weekend to Bucks County, where the gays are less, well, gay (or at least less vapid and annoying).

Man, I will never get tired of that graphic. Genius.

makes me want to be all Dancer In the Dark and float away in the ocean to my death.

Now if there was only such a magical place for the vapid, clueless strate guize to concentrate and consequently vote themselves off the island of reality.

And this, my friends, is why, if I must choose to set foot on Fire Island, I always opt for "Scary Grove."