Engage babydaddy territorial security measures! Degree absolute! Star reports with sirens and klaxons that recently blessed/bereaved mother Anna Nicole Smith has married her longtime attorney and "confidante" Howard K. Stern. Assuming this isn't entirely bullshit, Smith and Stern made it official on a catamaran sailing around in waters off Nassau — the same Bahamian paradise where Smith's son, Daniel, died of a drug overdose less than three weeks ago. According to Star, the catamaran was escorted by a flotilla of speedboats who kept the couple well supplied with "unlimited Dom Perignon." Guess that $600,000 isn't going to spend itself.

Anna Nicole Smith Weds Howard K. Stern [Star]
[Photo: Getty Images]

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