Gawker
"WHICH big Hollywood actress is about to come out of the closet?" today's Page Six just asks. "She's been living with her girlfriend in a small town, where all the neighbors know, and the two are now engaged to be married." Is "outing" celebrities inherently trashy? Is it just an excuse to be kind of homophobic while pretending to be interested in "the truth"? Who cares! Here's a poll!
N.B. The use of a picture of Queen Latifah does not necessarily indicate that she is our guess, particularly as this one is a stumper!
Comments
Horatio Sanz?
Ladies first!
This is like the time Spinderella...
LolCait?
Over to you!
Is Rosie out yet? Or again??
Is Penny Marhsall already out?
Because I'm thinking the verbal clue alludes to the 1988 Tom Hanks vehicle that she helmed.
Camryn Manheim Steamroller.
Why isn't Jodi Foster in the poll? I mean its obviously my gal Jodi.
@transomist:
Marshall, damnit.
Jodie Foster's Cock?
@pineappletattoo: Beat me to it!
Jason Reitman!
Can I be totally naive and say that it's gonna be Jodi Foster? Because I know she's gay. You know she's gay. The homeless guy on the corner of 57th and 7th knows she's gay. But damn it, just say the actual words honey!
Optimus Prime.
@pineappletattoo: Yeah. Its about time.
Zac Efron.
@LolCait: THANK YOU! Zac is even more of an 'In the glass closet' gay than Anderson Cooper!
@LolCait: Spin it!
@Reluctant Financier: She's such a lesbian.
@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: This is like the time Spinderella ran me over with her Subaru in Vermont.
@TedSez: No no no, it's clearly Ratchet.
The ladies will kick it, the rhyme that is wicked
Those that don't know how to be pros get evicted
A woman can bear you, break you, take you
Now it's time to rhyme, can you relate to
A sister dope enough to make you holler and scream
[...]
I break into a lyrical freestyle
Grab the mic, look into the crowd and see smiles
Cause they see a woman standing up on her own two
Sloppy slouching is something I won't do
Some think that we can't flow (can't flow)
Stereotypes, they got to go (got to go)
I'm a mess around and flip the scene into reverse
(With what?) With a little touch of "Ladies First"
Who said the ladies couldn't make it, you must be blind
If you don't believe, well here, listen to this rhyme
Ladies first, there's no time to rehearse
I'm divine and my mind expands throughout the universe
A female rapper with the message to send the
Queen Latifah is a perfect specimen
[...]
Contact and in fact, the style, it gets harder
Cooling on the scene with my European partner
Laying down track after track, waiting for the climax
When I get there, that's when I tax
The next man, or the next woman
It doesn't make a difference, keep the competition coming
And I'll recite the chapter in verse
The title of this recital is "Ladies First"
--Queen Latifah
Q: How many lesbian Hollywood actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Stop making fun of lightbulbs.
@LolCait: Nora Ephron.
I wouldn't consider Hillary a "Hollywood" actress, but none the less...
Dakota Fanning?
@CodePink:
Q: How many lesbian Hollywood actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but don't ask me how they got in there!
I know I know... Ellen DeGeneres!
/past over
I went with Kathleen Turner. Because, you know, that's just hot.
Since when do big Hollywood actresses live in small towns? Oh, actually I take that back. Angelina Jolie is a member of our volunteer fire department.
@LolCait: NOOOOOOH!!!!
Come on, everybody. It's Don Rickles and Nicole Eggert. The two have been carrying on for ages.
Queen Latifah lives in Colts Neck, NJ, and rides around on a motorcycle.
I repeat: rides around on a motorcycle.
Just as long as whoever it is leaves David Crosby's sperm well enough alone.
I only really support outing if a person is say a person who is voting against gay rights or a complete hypocrite. This applies more to pols than actors. I think actors who flat out deny it and say, "I'm straight" can stay in the closet for all I care. Dragging them out kicking and screaming is ugly.
@pineappletattoo:
Doesn't Jodie Foster live in Manhattan? Not so much a small town.
You guys should post that screen shot from "Beautyshop" where she's doing the scissor sisters/lezzie hand gesture! She was trying to tell us then. We were stupid, Queen!
Delta Burke
@enviousjuno: No shit!
Home Depot registry anyone?
I'm confused - I thought Queen Latifah was Livin Single?
Oprah, Hillary, or Wynnona Judd. I don't know why but I just have a feeling on this.
Jodie lives in LA, and has been sporting a wedding band for years...
I think Queen Latifah and Jodie Foster are so barely in the closet that their outing wouldn't make much of a news item. And honestly, the people who don't make much of their romantic lives in terms of their own publicity, etc. -- whether gay or straight -- ought to be left in some privacy. Once you're Tomkatting around, though, it's fair game.
Where's big ol' Kirsty Alley living these days?
I'm king of hoping the "small town" reference means Hollywood is a "small town" and the outing is Jodie Foster...le sigh...
Karen Allen lives in a small town in Massachusetts... don't know whether she fits the other criteria, though.
Dolly Parton?
Answer: Clearwater.
Demi Moore.
I've always been surprised that Martha Plimpton didn't roll that way. I suppose she doesn't fit the description, however, since she hasn't done much since Goonies.
y'alls wish about queen latifiah. it's jodie foster!
Kathy Bates
John Lithgow? John Voigt? Roger Ebert? Wendy Williams?