Gawker
We don't want to spoil the surprise too much, but this week's Blue States Lose, everyone's favorite survey of hipster party photography, may or may not introduce a recurring character who appears in the scrum of The Cobrasnake and Last Night's Party. Has Alex Blagg found a replacement for the much missed One Half Nelson? The answer is after the jump.
10.The Cobrasnake. Art Craft Spaceship photo #2923: This kid's been showing up on The Cobrasnake for months now and I've never liked it, but it's time to call to Child Services. For serious. And before you get all, "He's just a kid running around naked and having a good time!", why don't you peep out the Nambla posse he's rolling with. [WARNING: NSFW. Or anywhere, probably.]
9.Misshapes. February 17th, 2007 photo #026: Have you ever wanted to play hackeysack with somebody's face?
8. The Cobrasnake. Vegas United photo #6567: This was the last photograph taken of this playa, as minutes later he was tragically gunned down during a turf war with a roving crew of gangsta Belle & Sebastian fans.
7. The Cobrasnake. No Socks No Problem photo #2676: Has this whole hipster thing finally made its way down to the Smoky Mountains? Is the world even capable of withstanding douchebag inbreeding? This picture terrifies me for our future.
6. The Cobrasnake. No Socks No Problem photo #2601: I bet even the most idiotic ironic clothing-loving hiptards at this party were just like, "Dude...no."
5. The Cobrasnake. No Socks No Problem photo #2535: Sure, those Other Music record store cliches are pretentious twats when you're just trying to pick up a Cat Stevens record, but boy do they ever light up a party.
4. The Cobrasnake. Vegas United photo #6485: I love it when girls dress as dumb as they look.
3. Misshapes. February 17th, 2007 photo #012: You know, ever since One Half Nelson mysteriously disappeared around the time I took over this column (coincidence?), I've been seeking a suitable replacement for his unique brand of amazing. This guy's been on my radar for weeks, and I'm finally giving in - he's the second coming. What he lacks in flamboyance and panache, he more than makes up for in pure, unfettered retardation. I know that word gets bandied about quite a bit in these parts, but seriously, this guy looks like a mentally retarded person. His clothes, his hair, his features - they're all perfect. I've decided that he shall henceforth be referred to as Little Scotty Mouthbreath.
2. Misshapes. February 17th, 2007 photo #011: If the trashbag doesn't getcha, the eyeball lasers will.
1. Misshapes. February 17th, 2007 photo #106: You know how you're always seeing these hordes of pretentious hipster failed artists and you're just like, "where the fuck do you people come from?" Well, I've figured it out. Koala bears shit them out onto the Don Hills floor.
Comments
mmm...kiddie porn
Whatever- number 2 is HOT.
#5: Hey, it's The Unfuckables!
#2: Someone needs to zip that up so Judge Seidlin can tearfully rule on who has to throw it away.
what is eating #1's face?
I used to wrangle carts at the Wal-Mart with Little Scotty Mouthbreath ... until he stole my favorite sock!!!
You read my mind with #5, because when I saw #6, I thought, hey, that's Yusuf Islam.
Are these #5's legs?!?
http://www.thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/doubledowntowntim...
She needs to start drinking the calicium fortified Heine, the poor thing....
#3 obviously employs the "what would ian benardo do" method into all decisions regarding style and wardrobe.
Dearest Trashbag/Mary Boone Girl,
AIYEEE!!!
Maybe #8 was simply playing a round of dress-like-a-gay-terrorist-who-popped-out-of-a-genie-bottle Rock, Paper Scissors.
Little Scotty Mouthbreath = Corky St. Clair.
It's a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire.
Misshapes are hosting a party at some chachi dance club here in Seattle. Best of all it's a camel sponsored event. I might have to go just to see if princess coldstare offers me some cigarette coupons in exchange for "answering just a few questions."
Little Scotty Mouthbreath? I have seen him over the last month and thought "Blockity-Block Head".
Here he is in choice action:
http://www.misshapes.com/club/pages/photodetail.aspx?d=02-...
Everytime I think, "Man, I should cross the river and have a drink in Manhattan", I will just look at the this picture.
He and Factoried Andy Wornout do make a good couple though, in a hipster dada meme.
they would all look great in a windowless white van
Jesu Christ. Alt+F4; ALT+F4!
The guy on the left in No. 7 is smiling because he just put pee-pee in somebody's Coke.
Also, I think No. 6 is Jake Plummer. Nice offseason regimen, Snake.
#6 (who I think looks more like McCartney than Cat Stevens) is the only person in the frame who is pretending to not want to be in that picture... I just wish those four sets of longing eyes in the background had all bounded up with their best "wazzzahhhhhp! i'm in the party pages, brah!" faces to frame his sad hipster jesus look.
Who is the nambla member in the red jumpsuit? Anyone know? She has something that belongs to me.
#8: I can't decide who I hate more, the wanksta or the cunty-looking stereotype behind him.
Aahhhh. I miss One Half Nelson. I remember I saw him once on Bedford and I couldn't help but laugh. I mean, it was midday and he still looked exactly like that....
This makes my eyes bleed a little in the corners.
Sadly, I have the exact same cardigan as no. 9. However, as I am but a lecturer in generative linguistics, and not a fuckwit MGD-swilling hipster, I obviously am wearing it unironically. Oh well. I shall have to take comfort in my publications, my home, and my loving wife-to-be.
#3 - he was a lot sleazier when he was doing lines of blow off twink asses @ Silk City. (-1) Still good with the vulgar freestyle. (+1). Total score: 0. He should beat Nancy Grace to death before the next album drops.
that's an insult to actual retarded people everywhere.
So, all these people were born out of a Koala Bear's anus?
That explains so much.
Thanks, Gawker!
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