"In another version of its utility," wrote Susan Sontag in On Photography, "the camera record justifies. A photograph passes for incontrovertible proof that a given thing happened. The picture may distort; but there is always a presumption that something exists, or did exist, which is like what's in the picture." UNTIL NOW, lady! Here's your weekly roundup of amazing impossible photography from amazing impossible places, courtesy of your host Alex Blagg and the wonderful, horrible, horriful party photographers of Last Night's Party, Cobrasnake, and Ambrel!
10.Last Night's Party. Crash Pad photo #6337: Fake David Cross is on the loose again, he's in Miami, and he needs to be brought to justice before he does irreperable damage to a beloved comedian's reputation!
9.The Cobrasnake. Sample Socks photo #9136: "Hi there, The Cobrasnake. I'm Steve, and as you can see from the edgy font on my designer t-shirt, the wicker tribal fedora I'm wearing, the dogtag necklace with artful symbols I picked up at H&M, and the leather rockstar wristband I'm holding up here, I've been practicing how to be real hipster, just like you guys. So I just wanted to say hi, cause soon as I find the right vintage stores and figure out which cool hipster costume is best for my "look", you're gonna be seeing a lot more of me, my friend. Anybody want a Parliament Light?"
8. Ambrel. L Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #0323: Are we supposed to know that Fall is finally here when Josh's chest decides to hibernate for the winter?
7. The Cobrasnake. Sample Socks photo #9623: I'd pay good money to for someone take this killer to Oakland so we could see what would happen if you dropped him off in the middle of the drunkest part of Raider Nation during a night game against the 'Niners.
6. The Cobrasnake. Another Day In Paris Dice photo #9742: I love how Old Man Beltbuckle on the right there is so daringly pushing the envelope of acceptability with his bold choice to wear trendy sunglasses that AREN'T Ray-Bans. You've got to take chances in life, people, and sometimes when you do, your bravery is rewarded by having something other than 15 years seperating from your young hipster friends.
5. Ambrel. L Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #0309: And here's the L Nightlife Award Winner for "Best Reason Why I Never Want To Go Out At Night Anymore".
3. Ambrel. Slingback photo #9903: It would seem as if our Leto-like friend here got into a fight with a propeller on his way back from the Mac costmetics counter. But at least the cumberbun survived.
2. Ambrel. Slingback photo #9763: I don't know what's going on in this guything's head, but I'm certain his apartment is full of those tiny Good Luck Figurines painted to look like cannibalistic death metal bands. And bodies probably.
1. Ambrel. L Magazine Nightlife Awards photo #0350: I've finally seen enough of this horrorshow to warrant giving him his own name as a coping mechanism, to somehow make this less real. I'm leaning towards Halle Hairy, but open to suggestion - thoughts?










Comments
You're going to hear about "cumberbund," I'm afraid.
#7: Commitment to Excrescence.
#5: Also Josh?
@KarenUhOh: He meant "cucumber bundt."
Oh, great. Now I have a boner.
For once, I'm happy to be too old for something.
#4 is the first time I've ever seen a fat skeleton.
Also, to whoever coded this article, you left an a href tag open.
the hipster defies the ontology of the photographic image? by deconstructing the photographic process using neon and eyeliner. But how does this affect the aura? Where's Walter Benjamin when you need him? Oh right, dead.
#10: The guy right behind him: "Christ, what an asshole."
Gawker is broken. #5: Still Josh?
#1 be nice to our sexually ambiguous hirsute sisters.
#7: Just drop him off at the corner of International and Seminary and call it a day.
I don't know where to go - the JFP page is imploding...
this is so supremely unfunny. i miss joey.
@Clarence Rosario: Is that fake Ben Affleck behind him?
#10 calls himself "captain awesome". not so much....
#3 cummerbund.
6. separating. sorry.
#6 looks like a photo I took at Sarah Lawrence in 1980.
@#3:Yeah I'm talkin' to you. Poison is over.
If the proof is based on a presumption, how is it proof?
#1: Chocolate Jeebus of Douchereth?
#1. I was thinking something like Erroneous Monk, but maybe replace Erroneous with something better...
If the proof rests on a presumption, how is it proof?
Sure, make fun of Old Man Beltbuckle, but I'll take him, thanks. I think he's pretty foxy.
#1 Bl*ckface gilligan?
I wrote the most pretentious comment regarding this post talking about the ontology of the photographic image and walter benjamin. fortunately it didn't post b/c I would probably be banned and then sent to roam the streets alone at night and ultimately be eaten by hipsters. Yarnbaby, you mar miss Joey, but I miss Balk.
i mar mith joey. i mith marr jury.
#8 - creepshow. josh you look exactly like this dude i used to date.
@FromTheFuture: Ah, there it is. No, it's fine.
@Clare: #6 Beltbuckle Man may not be old, but he’s a total hoar.
#7's hiptard/middle-aged peewee football coach/kidtoucher costume gives me the creeps.
#1. He's a black leprechan satyr. Paddy O'Pan? FaeryMcSuperfly? Milkdud McLeprechan? I don't think he's magically delicious. Looks a bit like he's gone off to me.
@shesaidwhat:
#1. Menopausal Donna Summer? Post-op Jesus? Luscious McCourt?
#4 - I made the assumption that Sears only sold those in black.
#1- is what happens when black effeminate gaydudes listen to beyonce's "to the left" too much.
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