It's late Wednesday afternoon and we're sitting at our computer and there's an email from this flack, this publishing hardbody named Sloane Crosley, and scrawled in blood it says that Bret Easton Ellis, who's always wearing that grey Dior Homme suit from the Spring '05, is cancelling the tour for the paperback release of Luna Park:

Bret Easton Ellis was scheduled to come to the cities listed below on tour for the paperback release of Lunar Park. I apologize for the short notice, but he has broken his foot and has been advised not to fly/travel for several weeks. I am cancelling all tour cities with the exception of LA. If you would still like to speak to him - and your interview does not hinge on an author appearance — I am happy to arrange an interview with Bret from his home.

So very Lohan, no? If he slipped on the stairs while carrying a teacup, we're sold. In a similar but completely unconfirmed vein, we also received the following email:

Just wanted to give you guys a heads up that the upcoming book tour for Bret Easton Ellis' book Lunar Park is cancelled — Ellis has relapsed with his drug use/abuse and is currently in an outpatient center in los angeles.

As always, we're sure that this is total horseshit.

9:50 AM on Thu Sep 21 2006
By Jessica
453 views
12 comments

Comments

KarenUhOh at 09:28 AM on 09/21/06
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Connectedness Index: 897

Write what you know, they always say.
Awesomist at 10:10 AM on 09/21/06
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I don't think Patrick would use the word 'flack.'. And he would have gone into way more detail on the suit.
urbanjewess at 10:14 AM on 09/21/06
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They should have just gotten Jay McInerney to fill in for him ... no one can tell the difference anyway.
Tom Foolery at 10:43 AM on 09/21/06
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Ellis probably broke his foot while trying to rid himself of that damn Terby doll that just won't die...
Schadenfrau at 11:00 AM on 09/21/06
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Could Bret Easton Ellis even fit into a pair of Hedi Slimane pants? Maybe they cut off his circulation, and that's what caused the tumble.
Lucia Toledo at 11:14 AM on 09/21/06
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Any clue where the pic came from? The stripe of shadow on the face is a great idea, as is the motion/emotion implied by the partially shown right hand. But the out-of-focus left hand? The watch? That woefully indeterminate area where his neck should be?
rogadelic at 11:16 AM on 09/21/06
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B.E.L. snorted his own foot? Wow.
rogadelic at 11:17 AM on 09/21/06
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B.E.L. snorted his own foot. Wow.
TheJerseyDevil at 01:56 PM on 09/21/06
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My thoughts exactly, Schadenfrau. Maybe he's back on the nose candy so that he can fit in a Dior Homme suit.
TedSez at 02:10 PM on 09/21/06
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Connectedness Index: 583

According to today's Los Angeles Times, Ellis has been planning to write a sequel to "Less Than Zero" when his current book tour ends. I think his publishers had him disabled in order to keep that from happening.
blargh at 02:56 PM on 09/22/06
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idve also snorted my way back into rehab if the other choice was being seen in public with a copy of lunar park
the earl grey at 01:17 AM on 09/23/06
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McInerney's been on the mend in recent years, that painfully crap "New York" mag Strokes cover story excluded