Paula Froelich looks to Bridget Harrison for her daily dose of calcium.

Last night at G-Spa, imported socialite Euan Rellie and Page Six's Paula Froelich hosted a soiree in celebration of former Post columnist Bridget Harrison's memoir, Tabloid Love. (Which reminds us: hurry, ink-stained wretches, and get your gossipy memoir/roman-a-clef/novels published before Gossip Novel Month draws to a close.) Located in the basement of the Gansevoort, G-Spa is like a fancy locker room, except that rather than disinfect bacteria, the stench of chlorine is supposed to encourage an aura of exclusivity. Luckily for Bridget, it seems that everyone got just wasted enough to not mind one bit. After the jump, Gawker pornographer Nikola Tamindzic surveys the wreckage.

Harrison is British, and her parents (center, right) came all the way over here to celebrate. The pints help ease the Christian guilt of reading about your daughter's sex life.

Nichelle Newsletter (center) never met an open bar she didn't like, and the BBC's Matt Wells knows he's in over his head.

The G-Spa staff dresses appropriately for the venue; for an extra $5, she'll give you a happy ending.

Paula Froelich, Stepford wife.

Euan Rellie mistakes WWD's Elisa Lipsky-Karasz for his wife, Lucy Sykes.

Anne Maffei and Lucy Sykes (Euan's wife) really don't seem to mind.

Now that Remy Stern has told Deborah Moss, formerly of Life & Style, about his super-duper top-secret project that may or may not involve Radar, he has to kill her.

A Post editor, the Times' Nick Confessore and Daily News gossip kitten Jo Piazza discuss whose paper has sent the most writers to Turkey.

AM New York columnist Julia Allison decides that Justin Silverman will replace Lloyd Grove as her new walker.

Us Weekly's Noelle Hancock and Jo Piazza haven't quite nailed the sexy lesbian pose. Two more drinks, girls.

Thinks she's at Buddakan.

Bridget demonstrates how best to sell books.

Elizabeth Spiers will sink another drink, because it'll give her time to think, and if she had the chance she'd ask the world to dance...

Jamie-Lynn Sigler pretends to read, just for Bridget's sake.

"Wait — my daughter's not a virgin?!"

Upon leaving G-Spa, the real party begins. Ahoy, boys.