In addition to its 430-car parking lot, the new Gowanus Whole Foods market will feature "unique Brooklyn touches like egg-cream and gelato stations," according to yesterday's press release. We're sure Jonathan Lethem was thrilled to hear it. Jesus H., what's next, we wondered? Razing Fulton Mall and replacing it with a bunch of chic boutiques with tongue in cheek names like "Ghetto Fabulous" that sell $500 oversized gold hoop earrings?

Um, yes. "We're not asking anybody to leave the street. We just have to bring in new stores in a way that everybody can work together. We're Botoxing Fulton Street Mall.''

Oh, Brooklyn. We hardly knew ya.

Finally, Egg Creams and Gelato in Brooklyn [NYO]
Discount Sneakers in a Duplex World [NYT]
Earlier: New Coney Island Even More Fun To Avoid

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