Em, it's for the sins you committed today, sweetie.

We have a wiener.

Also, what is that on the nightstand next to the bottle of wine?

@mathnet: It looks like a dental clam.

@mathnet: it sort of looks like Woodstock. Snoopy's friend. But that's just too weird. Right?

@mathnet: Tartar sauce stain? Pearl?

Hey, this guy might think it's disgusting, but some people like to keep their options open. The world is your oyster, and all that.

@LolCait: Snailed it!

Are you sure this is part of the faux NYer cartoon contest? I think this belongs to Josh's post about what he did last night.

@LolCait:
@@mathnet:
It's a retainer-- helps with the voweeeel sounds

I thought these things were supposed to have beards.

@BottomOnTop: Looks like pretty good seaweed.

@BottomOnTop: @mathnet: I like a man with mussels.

@LolCait: Peritwinkle.

(S)he sells seashells by the seashore.

"Did you just give me clam-ydia?"

Feed me, Seamour. Feed me all night long.

@In Other News...: That's for the crabs.

@Gregory_of_Nazianzus: Maybe cocktail sauce.

Gonna have to "filter" this one out of my mind.

i'm not surprised. i hear that bivalves are shellfish lovers.

Also, at least he didn't explore the homonid's chocolate starfish... talk about that clammy feeling.

"Let'scallop Ted Turner and see if he wants to join us."

@LolCait: That child-mollusker?!

This little piggy had roast beef...

Are those pearls or HPV?

(sorry folks....)

@mathnet: bravo!

@mathnet: But we'll be careful. We'll abalone one drink.

@LolCait: I'm not really into Grouper.

We should invite Bob, that poor cockle.

@mathnet: It'll be over in a snapper.

@mathnet: Hey, I gotta go, sashimi later if you want to come.

@LolCait: Squid it!

i hate it when you clam up like that

I'd shuck it.

@mathnet: @LolCait: You two are Krilling me!

IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF SHOCK G...
Now last night, underwater, I saw a French mermaid,
Treated her to caviar and wine over shrimp brain,
In the raw, on the ocean floor, need I say more?
You never heard nobody kick it like this before,
Pink champagne, octopus brains,
Saw your DJ underwater through the window pane.
That sucker tried to hit a mix, but the mix didn't happen,
Records kept floatin' all the fish kept laughin'
A blowfish blew my mind and started to rhyme,
As the octopus cut nine records at a time.
Your boy said, "Show me how to keep my records down,"
But the shark ate his amp, your boy got clowned.

The rhymes he say have no particular order
Un-derwater, Un-der-derwater,
Go 'head bite his rhymes if you think that you oughtta
Hold your breath, MC's, my rhyme's underwater.
(apologies for the pastemonkey)

Guess dude's going back to straight octopussy.

He did it just for the halibut.

@TechLackey: Without a trout.

"Always knew you were a shore thing."

'i should have used...well, Fleet...before we did that.'

So which one got the pearl necklace?

Clamydia?

@Colonel Mustard:

They know a plankton of jokes.

Take one and barnacle me in the morning.

And finally - "You're no Octopussy!"

he'd heard it's better when the clam is bearded.

@In Other News...: I'm just a Prawn in their little game.

Seems more like a faux Post cartoon to me.

You know what though? If you remove that headline "BIVALVE CURIOUS NO MORE" and just leave the image and the word bubble, it's actually pretty fucking hysterical. It needs no further context, it doesn't need to address any issue: it's just a guy who fucked a huge clam or oyster and discovered the obvious.

Without the politically thoughtful hed, it's kind of the funniest, stupid, punkiest thing I've seen in ages. It's just too bad the author had to try to "better the joke" with that lame expository header. Without it, I could totally see Mel Brooks waking up in bed with some shell fish and exclaming totally Jewishly, "That was disgusting!"

This guy should head to Hollywood pronto. How can you all not see how funny the thing could have been?

I'm sure her bipedal curiosities have been more than satisfied as well.

Cod. You just wanna cuttlefish?

@Ian Spiegelman: If it were a Woody Allen movie, she'd be Armenian, and her name would be "Daisy."