Former Jersey governator and Gay American Jim McGreevey was supposed to appear on David Letterman last night but, according to Letterman, "They just stopped calling. They left us numbers that were unplugged, and we couldn't get ahold of them. They said, 'Oh no, we're coming, don't worry, we're coming' — and that's the last we heard of 'em." A gay guy's a total pussy? Who knew?! With a last-minute no-show on his hands, Letterman made do with one of the better Top Tens in recent memory. Anytime you say "oil up" on network television, it's a good thing.

Contact information for this author is not available.