commenter executions

commenter executions
Of Death and Catapults
Do you like the new site design? The black? I think it's lovely. Reminiscent of DEATH. This is step 1 in my plan to turn Gawker into Jack Ketch's Blog of Commenter Executions and Pictures of Medieval Siege Weaponry. It's a new direction for the site, but think of the pageview counts when Gawker is the number 1 result for "Trebuchet" Google searches! None of this is true, really. I actually have no power. Which should be obvious, as most of my victims just return a few days later and continue the schtick they died for in the first place. It's a hard life, but a just one. After the jump, you shall find a few more victims to mourn until they return in 5 hours. More »

2:19 PM on Fri Jun 27 2008
By jack_ketch
7,098 views, 315 comments

Latest by if_i_only_had_a_heart: @Unfun: dude more »
executions
Bad Luck For Some of You
From our official Commenter Executioner, Jack Ketch: See the title? Get it? Because it's Friday the 13th and now you are dead! I was going to start this post with a history of Friday the 13th, why it's considered unlucky, and what a typical English Friday the 13th consisted of in my time. But then I realized I don't know anything about this day, and have been living here in the future for so long that I'm basically a lazy, ignorant, and slovenly American by this point. I can't even be bothered to write my posts in old timey English. I'll probably have to execute myself soon. So, it's Friday the 13th, which is bad if bad things happen to you today. Look both ways before crossing the street, don't stand near out of order elevator shafts, and make sure to wear your hat really low if you go wilding. They have cameras everywhere now. Fucking cameras. Let us jump, and please be careful not to slip, to the fun part. More »

5:00 PM on Fri Jun 13 2008
By Sheila
5,344 views, 219 comments

Latest by TheLorax: @Unfun: I confess that I snitched on him. In the Denton Empire, the informant is also prosecutor, the judge more »
public executions
Why Do You People Force Me To Hurt You?
Hey, hey, hey! It's time for some people to calm the fuck down... Abbe Diaz. I don't care who you are or what you've published—this kind of ad hominem, personal commenting-attack won't be tolerated here, because it's unintelligent and immature. And also, because I said so. The monkeys may be running the zoo here—but luckily, I'm one of them. That's all.

2:22 PM on Thu May 22 2008
By Sheila
4,601 views, 119 comments

Latest by bertyapple: @jackvinyl: Thanks. A friend of mine recommended it to me. Apparently he googled an image for "ugly dog." Interesting. more »
gawker
This Week in Commenter Executions
As you can imagine, most of the executions we wanted to carry out this week concerned people who sent us e-mail. Since that is sadly impossible (and, you know, illegal) we had to sate our bloodlust with the collection of commenters you'll find below. Thanks for stopping by, folks, we hope to see you again real soon.
More »

5:34 PM on Wed Apr 11 2007
By abalk2
5,966 views, 27 comments

Latest by Carson Daly: swaytalk was accepted just to be executed? I like the way you roll, Gawker. And lemme guess: swaytalk = Kimmel's more »
gawker
This Week in Commenter Executions
We've got the Grindhouse fever and there's only one known cure, short of actually seeing Grindhouse: execute the bejesus out of a boatload of commenters. Block 'em all and let God sort 'em out. Let's do it. More »

3:33 PM on Wed Apr 4 2007
By abalk2
6,790 views, 26 comments
gawker
This Week in Commenter Executions
You've actually been a fairly well-behaved—even entertaining and sometimes enlightening!—bunch this week. It's a shame to see any of you go. But upon us all the axe must fall, and this week we say goodbye to five members of the commenting community. Did you make the cut? More »

3:34 PM on Wed Mar 28 2007
By abalk2
6,936 views, 17 comments

Latest by JupiterPluvius: @FracturedAcetabulum: It's Rick Santorum's daughter at his concession speech. You can make your own avatar of it if you more »

gawker
This Week in Commenter Executions
Quite a week for purging. Apart from the real-time executions of soldierboyadam and Simba Marimba (guess what they had in common?), we've got a slate of condemned commenters on their way to the gallows as we speak. Tie a napkin around your neck and see if you're about to have your last meal. More »

4:15 PM on Wed Mar 21 2007
By abalk2
7,320 views, 21 comments

Latest by Greasy Thumb Guzik: @sheistolerable: Has the El gotten to where you wanted to go yet? I'll wait for the answer as you might be more »
gawker
This Week in Gawker Commenter Executions
Hey, did you hear something? Yeah, you're right, probably just the wind. Oh, no, wait, it's COMMENTER EXECUTIONS! We've chosen to do things a little differently this week, with a group cull. Are you part of the group? The answer is after the jump. More »

3:48 PM on Wed Mar 14 2007
By abalk2
8,868 views, 65 comments

Latest by gasparutto: So that's Lynn and NOT KarenUhOh? It's such a small sister-fucking world, I cannot keep fucking track. who knew that more »
gawker
This Week in Gawker Commenter Executions
We're in a surly mood this week at Gawker; surly and curt. After the jump we determine who lives and who dies, giving impossibly brief rationales for our executions. Yours, though, is not to reason why, yours is merely to comment and then face our wrath. The newly departed lie in state below. More »

1:55 PM on Thu Mar 8 2007
By abalk2
7,087 views, 27 comments

Latest by YourFaithfulServant: And continue to create an excellent day! more »
gawker
This Week in Gawker Commenter Executions
What's that sound? Oh, it's a bell! And it's tolling for... these:
Executed: FarfelFershtayst
Crime: So many, but we'll go with this one.
Executed: Skip Gates
Crime: Assuming one of the girls is taking it from an N+1er. It could be Balk, you know.
Executed: Angelina
Crime: Relying on Gawker to give her "IMPORTANT AND RELEVENT INFO up to the minute." Also, use of "dunzo."
Executed: JohnElvis
Crime: That NSFW avatar. Enough said. More »

commenter executions

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