If she was that rich she probably wouldn't have bothered chasing after her purse. That's some broke-ass ho shit.

Yes, that's right you "head" the man, kids!

@collegecallgirl: she had heard about the imported fake goods bust and just couldn't bring herself to spend the money on the real thing. she's lucky her fake prada heels didn't break.

@collegecallgirl:
But when "Give it back fucker!" doesn't work, what else is a girl to do?

@blogylonian: ...and don't stop until its done.

So this girl named Candy, or Amber, or Shanaynay got her bag stolen while she was trying to work over some John? Thats what I'm assuming since the only rich bankers I know actually live in Tribeca, so the only reason I can figure them to be in Alphabet City is if they're trying to pick up some fun for the night.

@blogylonian: Actually, I really did head the man.

Was this signed "A Rent-Stabilized Tenant?"

I can understand how spell check wouldn't change 'head' to 'heed', but it should have caught the bad grammer.

@collegecallgirl: I tryst the man.

@IndianSlipper: There is absolutely nothing wrong with that grammAr!

@IndianSlipper: Any and all complaints about an internet solecism will itself, feature an equally glaring mistake. Macro-me. Macrammy. You know, shitty knots.

@IndianSlipper:
Um... grammar?

@collegecallgirl: Cocked and reddy!

im sory wil nvr diskuss gramer agin.

...and a variation- Give it, back fucker!!!
Maybe that's what he heard- didn't want to interrupt.

I'm sure he meant i-bankers or whatever, but I really like to instead picture the East Village overrun with old timey, It's a Wonderful Life-esque bankers. Shaking their brass canes at people, broken monocles littering the street, top hat prices soaring.

Ooh, now if only we could make the *rest* of the city unsafe for rich girls and bankers.

@LolCait: ..and you have to come and dignify the thread, every time!

@LolCait: Scrooge McDuck.

As far as I can tell, the only unsafe character in that scenario was the purse thief. Who knows what happened when that crazy bitch caught up to him?

Whenever I'm approached by strangers, I always tell them I'm busy "practicin' my stabbin'." Ha-HAA!

"please move somewhere safer so the rents don't go any higher and landlords will stop harrassing rent stabilized tenants"

I'm so sure he himself doesn't represent any aspect of the neighborhood's rising rents.

@LolCait:
Mr. Potter
And what are you, but a 'warped, frustrated' young man?

--It's a Wonderful Life

But...but...the A train doesn't go anywhere near 11th and A...

@Clarence Rosario: "Let me introduce myself... Let me introduce myself!"

I mean really, did she even attempt to call Crimestoppers or something, or is she only a member of the gentrification task force? Not that I have a problem with this. All rich bitches should be made to say, "Give it back, fucker!" It keeps the world in balance.

this guy has really awesome eyesight if he could ascertain from a window on 11th and a that the purse-snatcher ran back to the projects.

Can we give the East Village back to the heroin addicts, who in retrospect were a comparatively mellow lot who after four in the morning were nodding off under trees in Tompkins Square park and in no shape to mug anyone?

I'll have to shovel out the closet and see if I can find my "Die Yuppie Scum" tee shirt

@the schef: Uh, he never said that. He said he went "towards Avenue D." For all we know, the guy could live in Stuy Town and needed the money to pay for his rent increase.

@ sally tomato:

I'm a rich girl and a banker - do I just off myself now?

"Yeah, I heard you -- he's raping you, I know. We all heard you. We know you're getting raped. Hey, you know who else is getting raped? I am, that's who! I'm getting raped by my landlord, with these goddam rent increases — and it's all thanks to people like you!"

Yeah, BET City aint safe. Why not move to condo-ey Clinton Hill? There, you can pay half a mill for a condo overlooking a White Castle parking lot.

Hur purrtz. She mournz it!

@MisterHippity: Ha. After that little speech, I picture him closing the window and typing to Doogie Howser theme music.

I'm trying to feel sympathy for her....really I am.

11th and A? Let's be reasonable, here. That's not Alphabet City, that's West Village East.

@LolCait: Like the ones in Mary Poppins...British accent and all.

Every time I see the heading Alphabet City all I can think of is that cheeztastic 1984 Vincent Spano movie where he's a drug-runner trying to go straight while also trying to save his crazy teen Jami Gertz sister from turning 'ho, plus I think there's some breakdancing scenes and footage showing how Bet City is all cracked out. I also seem to recall a part where Spano rides his motorcycle into the loft he shares with artist gf, and at some point they have sex before he has to flee again or something. I only remember this part because it's kinda rare you see semi-hot sex in movies that shows a couple all worked up because they're in love.

Am I to assume that rich female bankers immediately burst into flames when they come within a five block radius of the neighborhood? I'll call Muffy and warn her.

@carolinacosmina:
The motorcycle in question was a Ducatti. Why on earth do I remember that?

How do you fuck ones back?

@Sulky Girl: I'm totally f*cking impressed!