• Britney Spears' rep says the pregnant popbot will not be posing nude on the cover of Vanity Fair, and the nation exhales. [Page Six]
• An intense and heartbreaking analysis of why a staffer could never realistically pee in Star editor Bonnie Fuller's coffee. See, Lloyd Grove is good for something. [Lowdown (last item)]
• We're not sure why we care, but the idea that Tony Danza may be axed from his own show and replaced by Gloria Estefan is completely fascinating. [Page Six]
• When Noel Ashman wants to protect his Meatpacking District NA nightclub, he does what any businessman would: He has his mommy change the locks. [R&M]

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