By Pareene, 6:05 PM on Thu Jun 2 2005, 279 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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Hopefully, we're the first and last to use that headline pun. Especially because I'm not buying this for a second.

Jack White expects us to believe he got married. By "a traditional Shaman priest." On a canoe. Note also that, according to his website, this is his "first marriage."

After the jump, the screengrabbed notice from the difficult-to-navigate official site. Take that, Renee!

UPDATE: Gee, almost forgot to mention this until I was reminded by a friendly email from their label:

The White Stripes' Get Behind Me Satan will be released this TUESDAY, 6/7/05.

How convenient. Now we just need Jack to go on Oprah.

War of the Weddings: Jack's Revenge [Modern Age]
White Stripes