The Return Of The B-Boy

Discussion: break dancing—cool, embarrassing, or some mixture thereof? A new film called "Planet B-Boy," opening tonight in New York, takes a look at break dancing across the globe—the type of thing that could spark a revived cultural moment for the niche urban phenomenon, like "Spellbound" did for spelling bees. The Times gives it a fairly positive review; the New York Sun kind of pans it, but what do they know about B-boys? I always considered them to be fun to watch, but not something I would ever personally become. Will we soon see nouveau break dancing battles across Soho and Williamsburg as the form gains a brief, ironic throwback popularity? Or will it remain consigned to circles in Union Square and Rock Steady anniversary parties? After the jump, the movie's trailer, and a clip from LOZ—the best b-boy crew that I ever saw up close—in action. DC stand up! More »

Having Sex With Rosie O'Donnell Deemed Worse Than With A Crash Victim

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Joe Eszterhas Hoping To Make 'Showgirls'' God-Awfulness Work For Him

Joe Eszterhas—who at the peak of his powers in the 1990s single-handedly overturned the image of the meek Hollywood scribe by earning millions for his uncompromising tales of beaver-flashing, psychosexual intrigue—has finally addressed the film that many finger as his undoing. Showgirls was meant to be a titillating, sensational look at the cutthroat world of Las Vegas entertainment; instead, it ended up being one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies of all time, thanks in no small part to Eszterhas' powerful dramatic choices, such as the scene in which Nomi and Cristal discover they are united by their Doggy Chow-eating pasts. According to New York magazine, however, Eszterhas claims to have been in on the joke all along: More »

Do A Line With Pee-wee!

Thanks to LAist for kickstarting the weekend early with this YouTube find, Everything I Know About Drugs I Learned From Hollywood. It's a surprisingly well-curated document on the subject (despite containing a dearth of clips from the George Segal/Stockard Channing MOW classic, Not My Kid). And not that we endorse this kind of thing, but we can't help but feel LA Kings games would be a lot more intriguing if the Staples Center could get their hands on one of those coke-dispensing Zamblowni machines. More »

Hollywood Tries To Understand The Whippit-Addled Teen Brain

In the second installment on its series on Hollywood's desperate attempts to recapture the attention of teens who are abandoning the multiplex in favor of simultaneous sessions of text messaging, ringtone downloading, and snorting of crushed Ritalin, the LAT relates a moment of clarity achieved by David Gale of MTV Films while observing one of these beautiful, demographically desirable creatures in temporary captivity: More »

Amazon.com Makes Curating Your 'Shot In The Genitals' Film Festival Easy

While browsing for the DVD of the Charles Bronson/Lee Marvin fugitive fur-trapper classic Death Hunt on Amazon.com, Austin360.com's Dave Thomas discovered a feature he hadn't noticed before*: User submitted plot keyword tags, ranging from the extremely broad (clicking "Snow" brings you to 16 pages of wintry titles, including The Empire Strikes Back and, predictably, White Christmas) to the highly specific ("Shot In The Eye" conveniently aggregates movies, such as Saving Private Ryan and The Godfather, that feature a well-placed bullet in the peeper, though a separate tag exists for "Shot In The Genitals"). The classification system is highly useful, even if it tends to tread into the realm of obsessive excess: V for Vendetta, for example, gets 103 tags, and while it's helpful to remember that Fight Club and The Seven Samurai also feature someone having their head shaved, we think we were fine without having access to a list of titles that also make prominent use of a toilet. More »

UPDATE: Peter Billingsley's Guide To Beating The Child Star Odds

The LAT approached Peter Billingsley—the irrepressible, Red Ryder BB Gun-coveting scamp Ralphie from A Christmas Story—to find out how he managed to bypass the dark paths trod by so many of his young actor peers, and instead carve out for himself a successful career as a movie producer. Yes, in just five easy steps, you too can circumvent an adulthood doomed to crystal meth-fueled dry cleaner hold-ups, and achieve your former child star potential: More »

6-6-06: Marketing Friend Of The Beast

Perhaps the greatest chronological confluence since 4:20 p.m. on 4-20 rang the bong gong for stoners everywhere, June 6, 2006 is quickly approaching, and you know what that means. You don't? Well, what if we write it out this way: 6/6/06. Not ringing any bells? OK, then drop the 0, remove the slashes, and squint a little. That's right: 666. Number of the Beast. And, according to the LAT, a perfect marketing opportunity to unleash unfathomable evils on mankind—everything from yet another sure-to-be-terrible horror movie remake to an Ann Coulter book:
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'Seinfeld' Writers Strike Movie Gold In Backwards New Hampshire

A pair of ex-Seinfeld writers, Gregg Kavet and Andy Robin, not suprisingly edged out Andy Dick's cinematic ode to caninelingus to win the top film prize at this year's South by Southwest festival. The movie, called Live Free or Die, was shot in New Hampshire under very State and Main-type circumstances: i.e., Hollywood descends on small town, culture clash ensues. Refreshingly, the filmmakers didn't honeydip their thoughts on the locals when they recently spoke with the AP: More »

Starbucks Goes Hollywood

Starbucks continues its steady, overly caffeinated drip into the Hollywood game, with news that the coffee and public loitering facilities chain is moving some of their employees to the LA area in hopes of generating more opportunities for promotable entertainment tie-ins: More »

All The Problems With All The Real Girls

Like a catty friend with a canny ability to compliment your dress while slyly calling attention to your saggy boobs, MSN Movies simultaneously celebrates/claws out the eyes of its favorite, most underrated actresses. Let the meowing begin: More »

New Orleans Is The New Hollywood

While tax incentives have lured bottom-line-obsessed studios to far-off lands like New Orleans, the newly Hollywoodized locations are also reaping the (perhaps) unexpected consequences of the money-bringing industry invasion: local alcohol shortages induced by thirsty underage starlets, caddish foreigners making a mockery of the Seventh Commandment, and the crushing guilt of realizing that your tax breaks have made abominations like Big Momma's House 2 possible. From the LAT: More »

LA Times Stumbles Upon 'Star Wars' Nerds

Hey, have you heard that there's a gang of obsessed Star Wars nerds camping out in front of the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd, even though there's a chance that the movie won't be premiering there? So has the LAT...four days after the story unfolding right under their nose first broke. But what the Times lacks in timeliness they attempt to make up in definitiveness, deftly leading their story with a serviceable FAQ of The Line: More »

Richard Gere Wants To Teach The World To Dance

Note to Mr. Gere: You may want to think twice before you try to slow-dance with the head of the PLO, lest you lose that "come hither" finger. More »

Defamer Party Report: The Pacifier Premiere "Sucks"

An operative files this report from the premiere of Vin Diesel's attempt at a kiddie franchise, The Pacifier. (And here we thought that after Kindergarten Cop, we'd never again experience the magic of someone who struggles with the English language chasing after children.) Unfortunately for our mole, the after-party was predictably a bad scene for getting drunk and/or laid, though we think the bounce castle was clearly a missed opportunity: More »

Defamer Party Report: The CAA Pre-Oscar Salad-Tossing Extravaganza

The Defamer Special Pre-Oscar Agent-Hosted Party Correspondent infiltrated CAA bigshot Bryan Lourd's A-list awards orgy and promptly filed this report, which we are now not as promptly sharing with you now. Inside: Robin Williams! Julia Roberts! A fat Tobey Maguire! Jen and Brad talking! To each other! Also in attendance: just about everyone else in Hollywood that an agency would need present for an obligatory salad-tossing as the Oscars approached. We'll get out of the way now and let Correspondent X do her thing: More »

A Bump A Day Keeps The Emphysema Away

By now, it's accepted as fact that the best way to communicate with Hollywood's decision makers is through the creative use of billboards during Oscar season. The original version of this rolling anti-smoking advocacy ad will probably raise some awareness among studio heads huddled outside for their bi-hourly Marlboro Light, but why should certain Colombian interests not adopt a campaign targeted at the industry's influencers? Fun fact: No one ever died of lung cancer by blowing rails off a stripper's ass. More »

Alan Cumming: Menace To Society

This driver in Silver Lake knew that wrapping his SUV around the nearest tree would be far less painful than having to consider the horrors contained within a single frame of Son of the Mask. A billboard hasn't had this effect on motorists since Vincent Gallo invited those stuck in traffic on the Sunset Strip to ponder suicide underneath a 30-foot image of his cinematic fellatio. More »

Jamie Foxx Wins Nine Grammys

We're not exactly sure how this happened (every time a camera cut to Usher we reflexively flipped over to Desperate Housewives), but it seems that Jamie Foxx won nine Grammys last night. We were skeptical at first, thinking it had to be been some kind of mistake, but then we saw Foxx singing (that stupid tattoo on the back of his head gave him away) "Georgia On My Mind" with Alicia Keys. We knew Foxx did all of the singing in Ray! Leonardo DiCaprio stands no chance for Best Actor—unless he can pull off a better stunt. Keep your eyes peeled for Miramax's full-page ads in the trades promising that Leo will prove his acting chops by urinating in thirty milk bottles during the Oscars ceremony. More »

The Back to the Future Q & A: Cancer Stories Are A Buzzkill

A spy reports on the Q & A following last night's Back to the Future screening at the ArcLight, which featured a no-show by the series' director that was nearly redeemed by the appearance of Marty McFly's girlfriend from the first installment..until the actress bummed out the crowd with that most reliable of buzzkillers, the cancer anecdote: More »

The Datalounge Investigates Owen Wilson's Speedo

The size-queens at the Datalounge get down to the dirty business of examining the contents of Owen Wilson's Speedo. Here's a sampling of the careful forensic investigation: More »

Not All Maid Roles Are Created Equal

Scrubs star Judy Reyes is fed up with Hollywood's tendency to typecast Latinas as domestics, calling it "a phenomenon created by non-Latino people...whose experiences with Latinas are limited to conversations they’ve had with their maids." Hack screenwriters who've inflicted the likes of Maid on Manhattan on the world have been put on notice: More »

Screenwriter John Logan's Keys To Success In Hollywood

John Logan, the A-list screenwriter growing so powerful that his agents wrangled him a contract provision stating he'd receive the sole screenplay credit on The Aviator, offers some helpful tips on how to survive the business in the NY Times: More »

The Golden Globes Swag Bag

LA Observed has the breakdown of the swag bag that Golden Globes presenters will receive for their thirty seconds or so of drunken slave-labor in front of a hot teleprompter. The damage? $38,390, including a $16K trip to Australia, a $2,700 diamond pendant, and a $900 shawl. Yeah, that's a pretty nice take, even for people who make $38K in the time it takes their assistant to tie their shoes. But given the climate of selflessness that's gripped Hollywood in the wake of the tsunami disaster, we're sure every single presenter is going to donate their goodies to the relief effort. Surely there's a homeless family in Indonesia that can use $540 worth of Kiehl's to rejuvenate their weather-beaten complexions. More »

Drill Bill

A reader snaps a photo of the Tomkat's latest offering, momentarily silencing the critics who insist that our city is bereft of culture. She also muses about the sequel that is sure to come (pun totally unintentional). "I haven’t actually seen it, but I would imagine that Vol. II clears up any confusion by the circular storyline introduced in Vol. I. SPOILER ALERT!!! Don’t read past this point if you plan on watching the movie. Bill gets drilled." More »

Nick Nolte Rear Ends Rosanna Arquette

If you asked us which celebrity we most fervently wish kept an online diary, we would quickly reply, "Melanie Griffith." Oh, wait a minute. We're changing our answer! We are proud to (belatedly, we know) present the free-associational prose stylings of Oscar-nominated legend Nick Nolte. Here, Nolte recounts the type of madcap "only in Hollywood incident" that happens to us at least three times a week: More »

Press Release Of The Day: Shark Tale Promotes Negative Italian-American Stereotypes

We thought that the Kabbalah Centre's declaration that they were going to make the Israelis and Palestinian spontaneously engage in a group hug was easily going to be the most egregiously unhinged press release we'd encounter today. When are we going to learn? The Columbus Citizens Foundation, an organization committed to "preserving the rich Italian-American heritage," calls out Steven Spielberg and DreamWorks because the animated fishies in Shark Tale will brainwash kids into thinking all Italians are like the gesticulating, stab-happy Joe Pesci of GoodFellas. More »

Roger Avary: Tarantino's Blog Is Fake; Also, They're Not Gay For Each Other

Filmmaker (and Pulp Fiction co-writer) Roger Avary calls bullshit on QT's Diary, the supposed Quentin Tarantino blog that everyone's been so hot for the last few days. More »

James Spader and Susan Sarandon Go To White Castle

We can't say for sure if handing out One. Tiny. Fucking. Burger. per person is going to make people go see Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, but Sunset Boulevard freeloaders seem less than happy with the portions and quality of their gratis beef. If they gave out more than one burger, all of LA's regular and boring homeless would converge on The Strip, driving away the crowd of homeless actors and rock stars who have rightly claimed that turf as their own. A reader even points out that Harold & Kumar is at best going to stake out a place as only the second-greatest White Castle movie ever made: More »

Linda Ronstadt Fired Over Fahrenheit

On Saturday night, singer Linda Ronstadt was fired after she ignited a near-riot ("guests...spilled drinks, tore down posters and demanded their money back") at the Aladdin casino in Las Vegas for dedicating the song "Desperado" to Fahrenheit 9/11 director Michael Moore. We can almost see the scene...Republican conventioneers, livid that their little respite from losing their capital gains tax savings to the roulette wheel has been interrupted, push their hookers to the floor and threaten to burn the place down. More »

Shirley Jones Is Dying To Talk About Marlon Brando Dying

Defamer Publicity Tip: There's no better time to get your name out there than when reporters are all misty-eyed with grief and hungry for quotes. Former Partridge Family matriarch/paisley fashion victim Shirley Jones's publicists seize a great opportunity for promotion: More »

mary-kateandashley.com Finally Admits Twin's Trip To Rehab

Official Olsen Twin website mary-kateandashley.com finally breaks its deafening, 'tween soul-crushing silence on Mary-Kate's trip to rehab. More »

LA.com Vs. The Hipsters

LA.com's Laurie Pike blogs about last night's LA Film Fest party for DIG!, the documentary about the rivalry between the Brian Jonestown Massacre and the Dandy Warhols. The showing was predictably littered with hipsters (but who did we expect to be there, the Octogenarian Blue Plate Special Club from Nibblers?), and Pike rips them a new set of holes for their ironic t-shirts: More »

Defamer Real Estate: Dude, Where's My Plummeting Property Value?

Wherein we use the LAT's "Hot Property" real estate column and some ellipses to depress both ourselves and the Los Angeles housing market: More »

Christian Slater Is Starving To Death

Tech-dork sister blog Gizmodo unearths yet another celebrity eBay auction. This time, Kuffs fans can go bid on Star Wars toys from Christian Slater's collection (Slater's snow speeder: current bid: $5.50). It would probably just be easier to sign up Slater for food stamps by proxy. We hear that you can redeem them at the Ivy for five minutes in the dumpster. More »

Lindsay Lohan's Fake Bra Sold On eBay

Lindsay Lohan just auctioned one of her signed bras on eBay. The winning bid was $10,001, and even though the proceeds nobly go to a woman's heart disease charity, we think someone egregiously overpaid. The item's a fake—everyone knows that Lindsay doesn't wear bras (NSFW). More »

The Crest Whitestrips Awards Are Coming For Oscar's Head

Wow, it's as if our very mention of "Crest Whitestrips" has conjured this out of thin air: the official Crest Whitestrips Style Award nominees have been announced. When we noted the epic press release over a month ago, our inner pessimist never dared to dream that this ambitious vision might one day be realized, or that Sharon Stone would actually go through with her hosting responsibilities. More »

Michael Ovitz: Winning Friends And Influencing Neighbors

According to the LAT's Steve Lopez, erstwhile "Most Powerful Man in Hollywood" Michael Ovitz is already inciting his future Benedict Canyon neighbors to riot. The construction of his understated 28,059-square-foot mansion has the facelifts of the neighborhood's multimillionaires vibrating with rage. 77 trees will have to be uprooted and the trucks removing 15,000 cubic yards of dirt might slow the BMW and Lexus traffic on the Canyon's winding roads to a crawl. More »

Trailers On Your T-shirt

Scientists have tackled a problem that threatened to tear the very fabric of society: We don't see enough movie advertisements. At the recent Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), models wore these T-shirts that feature embedded video screens showing trailers for I, Robot. This breakthrough takes us one step closer to the utopian ideal of porn projected on the inside of our eyelids. More »