Gawker: Culture, Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton's Christmas Shrine

Mark — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 12:46:31 EST

Brimming with seasonal cheer and seeking to celebrate Christmas in the time-honored tradition of garish lawn-decorating, a Cranston, RI man has erected a holiday-themed shrine to the modern embodiment of glad tidings and goodwill to man, Paris Hilton. It didn't take long for the media to arrive and solicit opinions from awestruck neighbors:

"It has nothing to do with the holiday, and it doesn't suggest anything that's appropriate to this time of year," said Judy Gershman, 57, who said she had hadn't looked closely at the display.

If this aggrieved local had spent a little more time examining the display before expressing her displeasure, she would have discovered the installment's respectful, Christmas-invoking grace notes. A nearby manger scene playfully recasts Joseph and Mary with Paris and current Greek shipping heir beau Stavros Niarchos (with removable head, in case the romance ends before the end of December), and the infant Jesus with Hilton's adorable pet monkey, Baby Luv. And while the larger-than-life image of Hilton spreading her legs at the center of the shrine might give some pause, they might reconsider their righteous ire when they learn that the pose is meant to accommodate the placing of over a hundred gifts for underprivileged children between the celebutante's splayed thighs on Christmas Eve.

[More pics of the shrine are available here.]

Gossip Roundup: Paris is Shady Enough for Paris

Jessica — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 12:00:36 EDT

• Paris Hilton's fianc Paris Latsis is sketchy. Like you didn't know, and as if you needed further explanation. [Scoop]
• Page Six will be damned if it doesn't go to any length to assert its relevancy. As authorities still search Aruba for missing Natalee Holloway, the column declares prime suspect Joran Van der Sloot to be guilty of losing at poker. So, so important. [Page Six]
• Warner Music guru Edward Bronfman Jr. is honored for his work in the music industry. But, as it was a Jewish Appeal award, someone had to go and mention Warner's dismal stock price. [Lowdown]
• Nightclub Avalon shuts its doors after not quite three years of trying to live up to Limelight's glory days. [Page Six]
• Recognizing the Matrix as a disappointing franchise, Bungalow 8's finest cut in front of Keanu Reeves while he waits to tinkle. [R&M (2nd item)]

Are You Not Entertained?!

Jessica — Wed, 22 Jun 2005 13:15:33 EDT

Do note the woman in the back, who is even less entertained than The Donald and Kathy Hilton.

Last night, carpet magnate (if there is such a thing) John Stark hosted a socialite-heavy viewing party for Kathy Hilton's latest attempt to outdo her daughters in terms of name-degradation, I Wanna be a Hilton. Reading the less-than-kind reviews are always amusing and informative but, in the interest of time, we think this picture of Donald Trump and Kathy Hilton watching her debut sums up everything quite nicely.

Back to Reality TV [NYSD]

Gossip Roundup: Kathy Hilton Will Use Tinkerbell to Destroy You

Jessica — Wed, 22 Jun 2005 12:00:31 EDT

• Kathy Hilton — entrusted to carry around Paris' chihuahua, Tinkerbell — feigns remorse when the dog bites a Today Show producer backstage. What's the problem? Doesn't everyone bring their more-famous-daughter's snippy dog to their television appearance? [Page Six]
• More unfolds regarding Oprah Winfrey's refused entry into the Paris Herm s store: While we wait for Oprah to have a softly lit special regarding this incident, Birkin bags are returned and the movie Crash gets a plug. [R&M]
• Despite Leonardo DiCaprio's recently slashed face, model Giselle still wants to have his baby. [Scoop]
• And will DiCaprio star in the movie treatment of Michael Jackson's descent into Howard Hughes-ism? [Fox411]
• Cynthia Rowley, designer-cum-slumlord? Probably not, but we like our spin. [Page Six]

Like a Robert Palmer Video, We Imagine, But Evil

Jesse — Tue, 21 Jun 2005 14:45:31 EDT

There are at any given moment untold numbers of frightening ads for frightening things floating around Craigslist. But his might be the most frightening one we've ever seen:

Paris Hilton clones needed for upcoming, one-two day photo shoot in major fashion magazine. Modeling agencies have not been very helpful, so Craig's List is our last hope on this.

You must bear resemblance to Ms. Hilton in order to be considered for this gig. We will pay $300 - $500 for the day depending on degree of resemblance.

We'll be having nightmares for weeks.

Paris Hilton Look-Alikes Needed [Craigslist]

Kathy Hilton Chooses Her Words Too Carefully

Jessica — Tue, 21 Jun 2005 13:10:42 EDT

We're totally watching more daytime television today than we'd like to admit and just now, Kathy Hilton is sullying up the ladies of ABC's The View. (Speaking of which, is Star Jones melting? She just doesn't take the weight loss well.) Kathy does her best to promote her reality show I Want to be a Hilton (premiering tonight! Whee!), but naturally the conversation has turned to daughter Paris. "I will kill for my children," she says. Good thing Hilton threw in that key preposition, or we might have had to actually like her.

Paris Hilton's Steamy Commercial Outtakes

Jessica — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 08:58:32 EDT

After the veritable boondoggle surrounding professional trollop Paris Hilton's too-hot-to-stomach television commercial for Carl's Jr., the fast food chain is injecting a little truth into their advertising.

Paris Director's Cut [via SaveManny]

Why Paris Loves Paris

Jessica — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 08:41:59 EDT

We're still reeling from last night's Michael Jackson-sponsored celebratory sleepover, so do bear with us for a moment while we delve into less complex matters like celebutwat Paris Hilton and the pockets of her fiancé Paris Latsis.

There, that's better.

Gossip Roundup: Kathy Hilton Clings To Paris For Dear Life

Jessica — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 12:08:28 EDT

· The Tonight Show refuses to book Kathy Hilton to promote her new reality show unless she appears with daughter Paris. Kathy acquiesces, because clearly Paris has her entire family by the balls. [Page Six]
· Now that he's going to jail, Lindsay Lohan's drunken dad, Michael, has expressed his interest in God. Just don't expect Lindsay to eat a communion wafer. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
· In an Australian television interview, Tom Cruise grows irrationally angry when asked if he still speaks with ex-wife Nicole Kidman, which is marginally more entertaining than watching Cruise act irrationally happy. [Scoop]
· Anna Wintour denies the rumors that she'd put Prince Charles' new bride, Camilla Parker Bowles, on the cover Vogue. It simply wouldn't happen — Bowles fails to meet Wintour's silicone and weight requirements. [R&M (3rd item)]
· Oh my god, Brad Pitt might be sleeping with Angelina Jolie. The two were spotted checking in to the W hotel in Westwood, CA on Tuesday. [Page Six]

Paris Hilton Fails To Trademark Self

Pareene — Thu, 02 Jun 2005 14:40:45 EDT

Now that she's getting married, Paris Hilton may soon find herself having to support a whole family on her meager reality television income. Hoping to parlay some of her fame into a modest bit of merchandising cash, she attempted to trademark herself last year. How did it go? According to the US Patent and Trademark Office:

"Current Status: An office action making FINAL a refusal to register the mark has been mailed."

Awww. Tragically, Ms. Hilton no longer have the exclusive right to put her name on everything from "BABY'S MULTIPLE ACTIVITY TOYS" to "INFLATABLE RIDE-ON TOYS."

On the bright side, this means my own line of bootleg "Paris Hilton toy model vehicles and related accessories sold as a unit" is still legal, thank god. Time to restock and set up a table on Canal St. -AP

Gossip Roundup: Kathy Hilton Dines On Paris' Sloppy Seconds

Jessica — Thu, 02 Jun 2005 11:50:53 EDT

· At a special Sunday preview of Cinderella Man in East Hampton, the crowd openly booed and hissed during the trailer for Kathy Hilton's new reality show, I Want To Be A Hilton. Apparently, network television can only be desecrated by one Hilton at a time. [Page Six]
· Now that Lindsay Lohan has recovered from her tragic car crash caused by paparazzi-vultures, she's ready for revenge and considering a lawsuit against the photographer's Fame agency. If that doesn't work, she'll have her people in Long Island "take care of things." [R&M]
· Today Show co-hosts Matt Lauer and Katie Couric liken their recent media coverage to a root canal. [Lowdown (2nd to last item)]
· Joan Rivers accuses Robert Redford of having bad plastic surgery; America accuses Joan Rivers of using plastic surgery to unfairly continue her existence. [Scoop (2nd item)]

Today In Trainwrecks: Paris Engaged To Paris

Jessica — Tue, 31 May 2005 10:55:38 EDT

Holy fucking shit on a stick: The latest word from Hades is that Paris Hilton is engaged to the only man worthy of her affections, Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis. We all know that Paris can only love Paris, so a lifetime with Latsis would be the only proper conclusion to the lonely heiress' search for love. And, because Latsis is so fortunate to be as Paris as Paris herself, he's the only man who can hold her attention for longer than the initial moment of penetration. Thus their love is meant to be.

Congratulations, young Parises — may your babies (also named Paris) be disease-free and your inevitable reality series, mildly entertaining.

Paris Hilton Engaged To Shipping Heir [AP]

Gossip Roundup: Paris' Cheeseburger, Literally

Jessica — Thu, 26 May 2005 11:58:25 EDT

· High-ranking DC politicos have reportedly told networks that Paris Hilton's soft-core Carl's Jr. burger ad should only air after 10 pm. For once, we're in favor of that sort of restriction — why don't we make it so the spot can only air between 11:45 and midnight? [Page Six]
· In-depth reporting reveals that Burt Reynolds might be a repeat offender when it comes to slapping journalists. You know, if Naomi Campbell had his baby, our defense budget could be reduced to a couple thousand dollars. [R&M]
· Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are still continuing with this face-sucking nonsense, which has conveniently distracted everyone from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. There's a huge conspiracy going on here, but we're too stoned to figure out what it is. [Scoop]
· Lloyd Grove challenges actor Tim Robbins to settle their dispute with one final game of Street Fighter II. [Lowdown]

Paris Hilton Hack Explained!

Jessica — Thu, 19 May 2005 17:21:58 EDT

After months of sleepless nights spent wondering how and why Paris Hilton's Sidekick was so mercilessly hacked (can you remember that far back?), our geeky brother notifies us that the Washington Post has made contact with the hackers responsible for the release of Hilton's personal information. So how'd they do it?

Before gaining access to Hilton's wireless phone account, the group had spent a year studying weaknesses in T-Mobile's Web sites. The group member interviewed for this story had already written a simple computer program that could reset the password for any T-Mobile user whose phone number the hackers knew.

And, of course, it didn't take long for one of them to score Paris' number. Isn't it cute how the group responsible for this crime against humanity range in age from the mid-teens to the early-twenties, just like Paris' audience?

[Apropos of nothing, it's like a sweet relief to write about Paris again. Like coming home to an old friend... A skanky old friend.]
Paris Hilton Hack Started With An Old-Fashioned Con [WaPo via Gizmodo]

Paris Hilton Has Forsaken Us All

Jessica — Wed, 18 May 2005 12:08:31 EDT

A few weeks ago, we pointed out a ridiculous interview with Paris Hilton, in which she said, "I don t really read anything on the Internet except my AOL mail. I don t like people who sit on computers all day long and write about people they don t know anything about." But, as always, there's more.

Hilton also went on to say:

"I don't like people who sit at home all day watching television, especially reality TV shows on the FOX network. And people who read celebrity magazines bother me. And people who purchase novelty ghostwritten 'memoirs.' Anyone who watches "Saturday Night Live" is a total douche. People who buy cheap celebrity-driven jewelry off Amazon really need to get a life. E! is a network for morons. Consumers who purchase the personal fragrances of famous people suck. And you know what else I hate? People who watch porn, either that downloaded off the Internet or purchased, legally, from Red Light District videos."

May 18, 2005 [Zulkey]

Paris Hilton: Not a Vegetarian

kewalters — Tue, 17 May 2005 09:15:57 EDT

We're hesitant to start the morning like this, but we've yet to make coffee and, moreover, we're gluttons for punishment. Also, we hate ourselves and want to die. Nevertheless, this supposedly is the much-anticipated Paris Hilton "too hot for TV" cheeseburger ad. (It'll be safe for work once you forward the link to your boss.) If House of Wax didn't turn you vegan, Carl's Jr. surely will. -KEW

Carl's Jr. "Paris" [Chris Applebaum]
Paris Hilton Gets Her Mouth Around A Carl's Jr. [Defamer]

Macy's Promotes 'House of Wax'?

Jessica — Fri, 06 May 2005 08:51:18 EDT

In the juniors' department, no one can hear you scream.

Related: "A certain portion of the audience will no doubt buy tickets hoping to see [Paris Hilton] meet a gruesome end, which is a little mean spirited, given that she seems, in this movie at least, to be a pretty good sport, if not exactly a good actress. It would be a little too scary if she were."
Paris Hilton And Friends, Pursued By Maniacs With A Fondness For Wax [NYT]

Paris Hilton Didn't Need That Laptop Anyhow

Jessica — Thu, 05 May 2005 09:30:15 EDT

We really DON'T want to write the following item but, the fact is, Paris Hilton is a fucking retard. There. We said it. No offense, of course, to the developmentally disabled, who are far more informed/capable/clean than Hilton.

After last year's campaign to make the world take Paris seriously as a businesswoman, her PR team has sold the same story again (CNN was cheerily pushing Paris The Mogul one morning this week). How much more of this can we take? Test your tolerance for pain:

AP: Do you read blogs?

Hilton: What's that?

AP: Um, they're these things on the Internet where people write about news and stuff.

Hilton: No, I don't really read anything on the Internet except my AOL mail. I don't like people who sit on computers all day long and write about people they don't know anything about.

You can rest assured that Paris lives by her words, HAVING "LOST" HER GODDAMNED LAPTOP. Wow, that reminds us, we should go check out her new film, House of Wax.

Paris Hilton's Personal Information Lost [AHN]
Paris Hilton Yearning For A Simpler Life [AP]

Remainders: How Much Is Paris Worth?

Jessica — Mon, 02 May 2005 19:00:04 EDT

· "It appears that Ms. Hilton's blond ambition knows no bounds and she is clearly intent on capitalizing on her fame; she commands anywhere from $150,000 to $200,000 to appear at a party for 20 minutes, she said. 'If it's in Japan I get more,' she said." And you thought Paris was a whore because of her personal life? Shame on you. [NYT]
· Nikki Finke says Barry Diller is a jerk! Barry Diller says his dad could beat up Nikki's dad! [PR Week]
· Pat O'Brien flees rehab for the sober confines of Coachella. [Defamer]
· And for reasons probably concerning her desire to thwart her own sexuality and subvert the market Kate Moss will don a beard and drag for the cover of V magazine. At least that's how her agent justified it to her. [The Daily]
· Need another reason to hate that old lady living in a rent-controlled 3BR for $800/month? Here's one: This dude will pay her $300K just to move. [WaPo]

We'll Always Have Paris

mgross — Thu, 28 Apr 2005 09:15:14 EDT

"There's something eerie about Paris Hilton," says the Daily News this fine morning, introducing an exegesis of her utterances in an attempt to answer the cosmic question: Serious or Serious Ditz? Actually, there's something eerie about anyone anyone spending that much time thinking about her. And then there's Liz Smith on the alleged ruputure between Paris and the newly svelte Nicole ("She looks better than Paris now") Richie :

Miss Hilton, released a statement on the "breakup" with these words, "Nicole knows what she did." (Yeah, she got a stylist and a tapeworm.) Funnily enough, Hilton used the exact phrase Tom Cruise uttered when he broke with Nicole Kidman. Of course, that was the end of a marriage with children. This is the end of a publicity stunt of children.

—MG
Paris isn't always a total heir-head [NYDN]
Liz Smith

Gossip Roundup: Nicole Ditches Paris Before It's Too Late

Jessica — Thu, 14 Apr 2005 10:17:40 EDT

· Paris Hilton needs a sidekick! The human kind, that is, as Nicole Richie has left the Simple Life building in favor of practically anything else. Smart girl. [Page Six]
· Project Runway winner Jay McCarroll goes absolutely apeshit on Grove-fluffer Hudson Morgan, whose parents clearly must've been "[anti-gay epithet]" to give him such a name. [Lowdown]
· Poor Princess Stephanie only gets $30 million of her late father's fortune, while her siblings will cash in closer to $1 billion. We'd pity her, but she still gets to be a fucking princess in Monaco. [R&M]
· OMGBRITNEYISSTILLPREGNANTOMGYO. [Fox 411]

Paris Hilton Gives Mexico Her Special Treatment

Jessica — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 13:00:48 EST

While the election of Vicente Fox was seen as a major step in Mexico's move out of the third world, the cycle has been completed with the arrival of Paris Hilton. Our international operative reports:

Paris Hilton has been invading our country for the last week, first doing MTV's Spring Break shows in Cancun, and now in Mexico City to promote her fragrance. She had scheduled an interview with Late-Night show "Otro Rollo" (the only Letterman/Leno-esque show in Mexico). At 12:00 a.m. exactly, host Adal Ramones announced Paris Hilton. The waiting turned into 30 minutes when he finally stated that after 10 years on-air (and guests such as Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Bon Jovi, Will Smith, and other celebrities who are actually famous for something), this was the first star that had failed to appear. He said he didn't want to blame "Paris directly, maybe it was a confusion caused by her people, but it has now been reported to us that she is at a bar, attending a party that was being given for her."

The skanky socialite snub makes it official. Welcome to the hell of Westernization, amigos!
[Image via La Jornada]

Paris Hilton To Ruin Your Cell Phone, Too!

Jessica — Tue, 15 Mar 2005 10:20:54 EST

Haven't had enough of Paris Hilton? Are her constant, desperate, vagina-fuelled antics leaving you wanting more? Do you wish that you could watch Paris act like a twat all the time — while you're driving, eating, even shitting? Yeah? Then you're in luck:

Having already made the cell phones of hundreds of her friends unusable, Paris Hilton is now targeting all Verizon Wireless users. She and Nicole Richie will be invading phones with one-minute, never-before-seen episodes of The Simple Life 3: Interns. These "mobisodes" — a trademarked term that apparently means "mobile episodes" rather than "moron boring episodes" — will be available to those to Verizon Wireless customers who cough up 99 cents for each one.

99 cents is a small price to pay for a lifetime's worth of irony.
Paris Hilton Invades Cell Phones [Reality Blurred]
[Image via Will Blochinger]

Oh, How You Underestimate Paris

Jessica — Thu, 10 Mar 2005 15:45:20 EST

Is Paris Hilton a liar? Or a scientific genius?

It seems that even though she's been on TV touting to David Letterman that she's trademarked the saying That's Hot - it appears she may not be telling the whole truth, which kids, is not hot. It's not even cool. It actually hasn't been approved at all. Yet.

Check out the application's status on the USPTO site here and here, and then start saving up for the post-trademark-appeal Paris-wear, such as official Paris Hilton That's Hot "pencil sharpeners, erasers, electronic toys, trading cards, mirrors, and stuffed animals" - yes, honestly, that's what it says. And "shot glasses" too. Nice.

This inspired up to do a little research of our own. We searched for Paris Hilton in the US Patent and Trademark Office files, and it turns out our little Paris is smarter than we may think: she's involved in some cutting-edge cytokine research. Yep, PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO CURE AIDS. You heard it here first.

That's Hot [Verbose Coma]
And we expected something like this earlier: And To Think: We All Used To Laugh At Her [Gawker]

Paris Hilton Hacked: Everyone Wins, Especially T-Mobile

Jessica — Tue, 01 Mar 2005 07:48:10 EST

Despite the fact that a hacked Sidekick resulted in the spread-eagled display of Paris Hilton's disturbingly personal information, T-Mobile stores in New York are selling out of the Sidekick II. Which is kind of amazing, actually. As our geeky brother put it, people are "now aware that they can take pictures, write emails and make out with bisexual VJs." And you can also make everyone in the world hate you, but we don't think T-Mobile will incorporate that into whatever new campaign they spin out of this debacle. Our point is: Don't ever doubt the marketing-whore geniusitude of Paris. Did we mention her new movie House of Wax is coming out soon?
Hilton Hack Boosts T-Mo Sales [Gizmodo]

Men With Boobs: They're Just Like US!

Jessica — Fri, 25 Feb 2005 08:52:57 EST

A reader writes in:

Just saw Ken Baker mentioned in your Media Bubble, which reminded me of the time I ran across a TLC show on gynecomastia (the medical term for men growing breats), became weirdly fascinated and nearly fell off my couch laughing when I saw none other than US's west coast scion, Ken Baker, interviewed about his own gynecomastia. I guess he had some sort of surgery to remove his man boobs, so now he's "normal"-looking enough to party with the pretty people and report back to all of us sorry folk. Maybe it's cruel to laugh at a medical condition someone can't help having, but damn, I still giggle like a fourth-grader whenever I see his picture or read his name.

When we recovered from our fit of snickering and pants-wetting, we did a little "research" and discovered that poor Ken Baker's boobies were the result of a pituitary tumor. And even Gawker knows tumors aren't funny, so we threw that joke out the window. When Paris Hilton, however, finds out the trusty sink to her leaky faucet struggles with bitch tits, we doubt she'll be so sensitive.

Paris Hacked: 'US Weekly' Scores Cover Hat Trick

Jessica — Thu, 24 Feb 2005 09:16:44 EST

On the bright side, Paris Hilton's HackGate provides the perfect opportunity for US Weekly to put Paris, Lindsay Lohan, AND the Simpson sisters on a single cover. The celebrity weekly trifecta has thus been acheived, and we can all die now.
The Sidekick Saga
US Weekly

Remainders: Paris Hilton's Everything Hacked

Jessica — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 16:08:13 EST

· More Hilton than anyone can handle: her emails and voicemails are reportedly on the internets, and by tomorrow you just might be able to examine her urine samples! Hurrah for modern technology! [Paris Hilton's Mobile]
· Media outlets everywhere continue to cream themselves with ongoing lesbian coverage. [Observer]
· And because two gay remainders are better one: even Filipino guerrillas need a bear's love. [Inquirer]
· Brian Wilson poses with the cast of Good Vibrations; his expression is that of a man having his legend aborted by a Broadway musical from hell. [Broadway.com]
· "If Prince Charming lived in today's New York, he might turn to Missed Connections in his search for Cinderella." How pathetically cute! [NYT]

Paris Hilton Hacked: The Lady Finally Speaks

Jessica — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 11:56:16 EST

From a beach in Aruba, Paris Hilton interrupts her vacation to momentarily acknowledge the inconvenience her hacked Sidekick has caused everyone:

"I don't know why this stuff always happens to me, but I wish it wouldn't anymore," the vampy 24-year-old told Us Weekly in her first interview since her cell phone was breached.

We know why, Paris. But we're not telling.

Not only was her entire address book from her T-Mobile Sidekick II posted on several Web sites, the hackers also accessed naughty photos of Hilton, including a topless shot of her making out with MTV Latin America veejay Eglantina Zingg, Us reports.

"We were joking around," Hilton told an Us reporter of the racy shot.

Joking? Really? How interesting. So, a few weeks back, when you and Zingg slipped off to the bathrooms at Bungalow 8 to discreetly lick face... That was a joke, too? God, Paris, you're so funny.
Paris Is Burning In Cell Hell [NYDN]
The Sidekick Saga

Paris Hilton Hacked, Day 3: Open Letter Time!

Jessica — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 08:45:24 EST

Dear Paris,

Hey Punkin, how are you doing? Okay, well, you might want to sit down. We re not sure if you heard, but your Sidekick (that s the pretty crystal-encrusted magical talking device you re always using) got hacked by some mean, mean men, who then posted your notes, pictures, and address book on the internet. Now all of your quasi-famous friends private numbers are being deluged with prank calls from around the world, and people are pretty pissed. Even Samantha Ronson hates you. We re sorry to be the bearers of bad news, but you need to know.

Listen, hey, calm down. Don t let Tinkerbell see you cry. Here, use this handkerchief to dry your tears it s from Hermès, it s safe. You re safe. You re amongst friends.

We want to apologize, Paris, for our gleeful hand in the spread of your personal information. Most of us were raised on the streets or in homes of full of neglect, and we're just desperate for some love and attention. But the FBI doesn t care about redacted numbers, and we re still cold and alone.

Honestly, we re just curious about your life and what it is you do all day. Your notes drip with laudanum and genius; your phone book reads like a cast list for an E True Hollywood Story. We re looking for insight, Paris, and understanding. We really we love you so much and we just want to be as close to you as possible and we totally can t help ourselves and your life is so awesome and your clothes are so pretty and that s hot it s all hot we want to be hot like you Paris just like you.

We re sorry, darling. We re so, so sorry. This will all go away soon. Just go back to sleep.

xoxo,
Gawker

P.S. Hey, isn t it funny how this maelstrom hit just as the trailer for your new movie came out? What a crazy coincidence!

The Sidekick Saga

HackGate Flashback: Farce and Tragedy Trade Places

Haber — Tue, 22 Feb 2005 15:04:36 EST

In times of crisis, peoples of all cultures have looked to learned elders to make sense of the world. We at Gawker are no different.

As we search our souls (save yer sass!) for meaning, we turn to our sort of elder, former Page Six assassin Ian Spiegelman, whose wisdom we quoted in 2003. Perhaps Rabbi Spiegelman can put this latest Paris Hilton mini-event into perspective:

You take the Hilton sisters you can brush 'em off as a couple of stupid rich bitches, and they might be that, but at the same time, they're like this American tragedy. They have everything. There's no reason why they shouldn't live a great life and do great things, but at the same time, they've had no parental supervision, ever. There's no one around who seems to care what happens to them, and so, every time you look at them, they're falling down. And as much as I dislike rich people, I have sympathy for what's happened to them, because they don't even know what's happened to them...

They're just two girls who someone should've looked after, and no one ever did, and no one ever will. They're gonna go through guy after guy that they think could be Daddy. It's not gonna be Daddy. And they're going to abuse maid after maid . . . I mean, what connects me to Page Six is that these are human beings that we're talking about. My book is about people who should've been watched at some point, somewhere when they were kids. And every day I write about people who someone should've watched, except that they're rich. And that, to me, is not a mitigating circumstance. It doesn't matter to me if you're rich; someone should've looked out for them. Someone should've looked out for Bijou Phillips ... all the kids I write about.

We're going to call our parents now and thank them for all they've done for us.

SPIEGELMAN'S BURNING [Moby Lives]

[Original TIME cover from June 27, 1994.]

The Paris Hilton Hack/Al Qaeda (Non-)Connection

Haber — Tue, 22 Feb 2005 11:45:39 EST

While the FBI is reportedly looking into who hacked Paris Hilton to pieces—erm, who hacked Paris Hilton's Sidekick—no one has yet to look into the Paris Hilton-Al Qaeda scandal which we are literally trying to create out of whole cloth.

Paris Hilton is the perfect sleeper (and not in the way you think, perv). Look at the evidence we're inventing: she's an international traveller, flush with cash, operating under the ultimate cover as a wealthy socialite. Furthermore, the fact that she dresses provocatively and has appeared in a sexually explicit home video creates the impression that she is definitely not a fundamentalist with terrorist tendencies. Plus, who'd believe she could be mean enough to kill anyone?

And then there's the completely fake photo of Paris and Osama bin Laden which we made in about ten seconds.

But most damning is the exhaustive examination of Hilton's Sidekick records and the hard drive of a computer used by Al Qaeda operatives recovered by The Atlantic in September 2004. Together, these prove... nothing.

After the jump, a side-by-side look at Paris Hilton's hacked Sidekick and the Al Qaeda hard drive. We'll stay on top of this important breaking story as we continue to imagine updates.

Paris Hilton's Sidekick	Inside Al-Qaeda s Hard Drive
Buy a lap top Ron perlman 212[redacted] 1 a start fininf band members and dance class work out Jennifer goldman in ny for weekend 310 [redacted] John diamond cuffs are in with H. Need stuff back Charlie muirhead coming to la this weekend Nicole lenz in ny 1 brett coplin playing 323 [redacted] In casey 503 [redacted] whisky 503[redacted] Peter lopez phil maloof nov 14 new years eve special big $ Fred prince call dj am wire money	5- Why did you buy a new fax for $470? Where are the two old faxes? Did you get permission before buying a new fax under such circumstances? 6- Please explain the cell-phone invoice amounting to $756 (2,800 riyals) when you have mentioned communication expenses of $300. 7- Why are you renovating the computer? Have I been informed of this? 8- General expenses you mentioned amounted to $235. Can you explain what you mean?
What do you think kristen Did she learn her lesson? Welsome back to gamma? I think gamsy wants a little kiss Its a gamma tradition Gamsy is waiting	I pray to God after having granted you success in destroying the dead, deaf, and mute false gods that He will grant you success in destroying the living false gods, the ones that talk and listen. God knows that those [gods] pose more danger to Islam and monotheism than the dead false gods. Among the most important such false gods in our time is the United Nations, which has become a new religion that is worshipped to the exclusion of God.
Carsondaily said to document everything guy said next truth or dare have cams at all times making if the club get carson number new years special for nbc or abc702[redacted]	Highly esteemed Leader of the Faithful, Mullah Muhammad Omar, Mujahid, May God preserve him 1- We treasure your message, which confirms your generous, heroic position in defending Islam and in standing up to the symbols of infidelity of this time.

Call gary shandlin get tape of everything	God reward you for me. If I am a martyr I will ask God's forgiveness for you. I hope for God's mercy..
naomi Do you wanna leave soon, ill pretend I hsve 2 go pee and u wait 3 mins than come by yourself to the back entrance	By the time you receive this will, I will be in the craws of birds, God willing, after having performed a martyrdom operation against the country of infidelity. This operation, God willing, will turn the tide for Islam and Muslims.

Paris Hilton's HackGate: The Little Black Book

Jessica — Tue, 22 Feb 2005 11:20:15 EST

Sadly, the FBI/CIA/DHS/Secret Service/HUD has yet to call us, and we're feeling a little neglected. To make matters worse, it's getting increasingly difficult to find many copies of Paris Hilton's hacked Sidekick files floating around. We can't just step aside and turn a blind eye; until we're handcuffed and watching Judith Miller drop the soap, we will make sure you too can witness the sad reality of Paris Hilton's number-collecting habit.

After the jump, behold the phone book in all of its glory. Be patient; young Paris has a propensity for repeating entries. Nevertheless, we're sure gathering all of these B and C-list phone numbers (plus that of the occasional "journalist" — we're talking to you, Pat O'Brien) was a daunting task, and we're proud of her for meticulously documenting the contact info for every person she's ever bumped into.

A, Christina
323-[redacted]

Abraham, Josh
joshabraham@[redacted]

A., Marco
marcodemarco@[redacted]

Alastra, Tommy
TAlastra@[redacted]

Abraham, Josh
joshabraham@[redacted]

Abrhams, Johnnie
1-917-[redacted]

Adrien
RECKLESSPRODUCTIONSNET

Adrien
1-917-[redacted]

Aftab
1-310-[redacted]

Aguilera, Christina
1-310-[redacted]

Aid, Rite
323-[redacted]

Aire, Chris
caire@[redacted]

Aire, Chris
caire@[redacted]

Akiva, Richie
1-646-[redacted]

Akiva, Richie
rmakiva@[redacted]

Akiva, Richie
646-[redacted]

Aldridge, Lily
1-310-[redacted]

Alegria, Vincent
valegria04@[redacted]

Allie
1-310-[redacted]

Allie
1-310-[redacted]

Alpert, Van
1-786-[redacted]

Alpert, Van
1-786-[redacted]

Altice, Summer
1-714-[redacted]

AM
1-310-[redacted]

A.M., DJ
djam@[redacted]

Am, Dj
CXTDJAM@[redacted]

AM hm
1-323-[redacted]

Amy Sacco
1-917-[redacted]

Amy
1-310-[redacted]

Anders
1-310-[redacted]

Andrew
+1-310-[redacted]

Anissa
ani07@[redacted]

Antonia
1-702-[redacted]

Aoki, Devon
1-917-[redacted]

April Shaw love
1-310-[redacted]

Ardi, Ralph
famous8621@[redacted]

Ardizzone, Cory
cardizzone@[redacted]

Ashl, Lauren
1-512-[redacted]

Ashlee
1-310-[redacted]

Asst, Chad
1-910-[redacted]

Att
1-310-[redacted]

Australia, Me
011-[redacted]

Azoff, Allison
allison.azoff@[redacted]

Azoff, Allison
1-310-[redacted]

Bgi, Gardie
gardie@[redacted]

B, Shannon
shanast5800@[redacted]

Baker, Ken
ken.baker@[redacted]

Benny medinaAsst
PFAsst@[redacted]

Benson, Michelle (NYC-PH)
michelle.benson@[redacted]

Berg, Z
1-310-[redacted]

Betty davis eyes
1-310-[redacted]

Bij
Home
1-323-[redacted]
323-[redacted]

bijou@[redacted]

Billy
1-901-[redacted]

Bisnaught, Nicole
missafficialknicx@[redacted]

Blake
1-310-[redacted]

Blake
1-310-[redacted]

Blue, Elijah
1-310-[redacted]

Bowwow
boywonder@[redacted]

Breeze
breeze66@[redacted]

Brenner, Jonathan
1-213-[redacted]

Britt, Lacy
1-832-[redacted]

Burrow, Taj
Burrow, Taj
1-760-[redacted]

Crowther, Justin
jcrow@[redacted]

Cabotaje, JR
jrcabotaje@[redacted]

Cam
1-305-[redacted]

Candy
candycane@[redacted]

Cantrell, Blu
1-917-[redacted]

Carey btos
1-503-[redacted]

Caroline Assistant
1-305-[redacted]

Carter, Mel
nofrontin@[redacted]

Carter, Sara
1-323-[redacted]

Carter, Shawn
scarter@[redacted]

Carter, Shawn
scarter@[redacted]

Chaya
1-310-[redacted]

Cheban, Jonathan
jcheban@[redacted]

Cheryl
Cheryl_Woodcock@[redacted]

Chows, Mr.
1-310-[redacted]

Chrisse
1-310-[redacted]

Christ bamn@[redacted]
Cipes, Greg
1-323-[redacted]

greg@[redacted]

Cjudd@[redacted]
Cody
+1-817-[redacted]

Cohen, Leore
1-212-[redacted]

Cole, Taylor
1-323-[redacted]

Collin
CCnRJ@[redacted]

Columbo
Connelly, Kevin
1-213-[redacted]

Conrad
cradhilton@[redacted]

Cont, Chris
+1-646-[redacted]

Contogouris, Chris
chriscontogouris@[redacted]

Contogouris, Chris
chriscontogouris@[redacted]

Corinne
1-323-[redacted]

Cothran, Brian
bcot@[redacted]

Crowther, Justin
jcrow@[redacted]

Customer Care Work
1-800-[redacted]

Danny, Guess
1-310-[redacted]

Dad
1-310-[redacted]

Dahlberg, Emily
emily.dahlberg@[redacted]

Daily, Eg
1-213-[redacted]
1-323-[redacted]

Damore, Caroline
1-310-[redacted]

Daniel
1-310-[redacted]

Darius
1-646-[redacted]

Darryl
516-[redacted]

DatBalla
datballa@[redacted]

Dave, Super
1-323-[redacted]

David
1-310-[redacted]

Davis, Brandon
1-310-[redacted]

Davis, Kim
1-760-[redacted]

Deryck
1-416-[redacted]

bizzyd@[redacted]

Diego
011-[redacted]

Diego
1-310-[redacted]

Dillinger
daz@[redacted]

Diva
1-323-[redacted]

DOLLPHACE76@[redacted]

DOLLPHACE76@[redacted]

DOLLPHACE76@[redacted]

DOLLPHACE76@[redacted]

Dominic and jeff
1-310-[redacted]

Donught
+1-310-[redacted]

Dorazio, Sante
1-917-[redacted]

Dorman, Lauren
laurenkickzit@[redacted]

Doug
1-310-[redacted]

Dr par
1-310-[redacted]

Dupri, Jermaine
slash72@[redacted]

Durst, Fred
1-310-[redacted]

Durst, Fred
fd@[redacted]

Dweck, Bert I.
bidweck@[redacted]

E, Shannon
310-[redacted]

Egplant dike ass
1-310-[redacted]

Eliza
1-310-[redacted]

Elliot
1-213-[redacted]

Elliot
Elliotmintz@[redacted]

Eminem
1-917-[redacted]

Eric
1-310-[redacted]

Famous, Rich not
runmyownlife@[redacted]

Fatima
1-310-[redacted]

Fatima
1-310-[redacted]

Feed the children
235-[redacted]

Fergie
+1-323-[redacted]

Fergie
bepfergie@[redacted]

Figueroa, Adriana
illestmami925@[redacted]

Fiona
1-917-[redacted]

Fisher, Steve
1-310-[redacted]

Flynn, Boe
323-[redacted]

Ford, Prince wants to do trackT
tqford@[redacted]

Forester, Leah
leahforester@[redacted]

Forester, Leah
princessleah@[redacted]

Foulks, Ashley
ashleyfoulks@[redacted]

Fred Mobile
407-[redacted]
Personal
onlyartist@[redacted]

French, Sierra
1-310-[redacted]

Freston, Andrew
Andrew.Freston@[redacted]

Freston, Andrew
Andrew.Freston@[redacted]

Fux, Connor
1-908-[redacted]

goddessparis@[redacted]

G, R

Griffiths, Wendy (WBR)
Wendy.Griffiths@ [redacted]

Griffiths, Wendy (WBR)
Wendy.Griffiths@[redacted]

Gael
011-52-[redacted]

Gair
917-[redacted]

Gardie
1-310-[redacted]

Geffen, Jeremy
1-310-[redacted]

Geoffrey
1-917-[redacted]

Geoffrey
1-310-[redacted]

Gerard, Mathew
1-310-[redacted]

GIANT★, ★NeW YoRk
cluemanatt@[redacted]

GIANT★, ★NeW dj clue YoRk
cluemanatt@[redacted]

Girl
Goddess, Paris
godesparis@[redacted]

Gold, Sarah
nycpeach1@[redacted]

Gordon, Masha
1-310-[redacted]

Gorgeous, Cam
1-213-[redacted]

Gotti, Victoria
516-[redacted]

Grand, Soho

Green, Seth
1-323-[redacted]

Griffiths, Wendy (WBR)
Wendy.Griffiths@[redacted]

Gunn, Justin
310-[redacted]

guyo, guyo
guyo@[redacted]

House, Paris
1-310-[redacted]

H, Victoria
1-310-[redacted]

Hansen, Brett
HansenB@[redacted]

Harris, Dr. Randy
1-310-[redacted]

Harris, Randy
310-[redacted]

Harvey, Victoris
zulu@[redacted]

Hawk, Nick
1-310-[redacted]
1-323-[redacted]
hawk@[redacted]

Hawk, Nick
hawk@[redacted]

Henry
1-305-[redacted]

Hervey, Victoria
zulu@[redacted]

Hill, Andy
crusher@[redacted]

Hilton
260-[redacted]

Hilton, Nicky
+1-310-[redacted]

Hilton, Paris
parishilton@[redacted]

Hilton, Rick
Hilt4321@[redacted]

Hilton, San fransico
415-[redacted]

Hilton, Tyler
1-818-[redacted]

Hoffman, Gina
gina.hoffman@[redacted]

Hooper, Nellee
011-44-[redacted]

Hooper, nellee
nellee@[redacted]

Hooper, nellee
nellee@[redacted]

Hot, David
1-310-[redacted]

Hot
1-310-[redacted]

Hotel, Mercer
1-212-[redacted]

Hotel, Soho grand
1-212-[redacted]

Inc, Mo.Rilla.The
morilla_theinc@[redacted]

Incunus girl
310-[redacted]

Ingrid
1-305-[redacted]

Ingrid Caesares
1-305-[redacted]

Irena
1-310-[redacted]

J, Chris
1-310-[redacted]

Jacquie
1-917-[redacted]

Jaime, Julio
pafromdaheightz@[redacted]

Jama
1-310-[redacted]

Jared padelecki
1-310-[redacted]

Jason
1-310-[redacted]

Jay museBrian
310-[redacted]

Jeff
Jeff
1-310-[redacted]

Jenets, Cheryl
Cheryl.Jenets@[redacted]

Jenets, Cheryl
Cheryl.Jenets@[redacted]

Jeremy
1-310-[redacted]

Jessica
1-917-[redacted]

Joe
1-310-[redacted]

Joffe, Wayne
1-310-[redacted]

John Hair
1-818-[redacted]

Jones, Jason
bigmama@[redacted]

Jones, Jason
bigmama@[redacted]

Jones, Kidada
1-310-[redacted]

Josh
TheOzzy30@[redacted]

Josh
1-410-[redacted]

K, Chris
310-[redacted]

K, Elis
1-646-[redacted]

K, Elisabeth
1-310-[redacted]

K, Fred
onlyartist@[redacted]

K, Nick
011-33-[redacted]

Kardashian, Kim
1-818-[redacted]

Kelly
917-[redacted]

Kendra

Kidwell, Damon
1-310-[redacted]

King, Stephen
freeway5@[redacted]

Kirk
1-917-[redacted]

Kitchen, Spanish
1-310-[redacted]

Knass, Erin
1-917-[redacted]

Koi
1-310-[redacted]

Koi
1-310-[redacted]

Korolev, Dmitri
sellerguy7@[redacted]

Kournikova, Anna
305-[redacted]

Kristoff
kristoff@[redacted]

L, Adam

sudgee@[redacted]
sudgee222@[redacted]

Lopez, Peter
PLopez@[redacted]

Lachappelle, David
1-917-[redacted]

Lance
1-702-[redacted]

Las vegsa, Ashley dru
702-[redacted]

Lasry, Phil
1-514-[redacted]

Lauren
310-[redacted]

Lauren
lauren.tabach-bank@[redacted]

Lavigne, Avril
1-613-[redacted]

L.b.w.★★, ★★Boy wonder
boywonder@[redacted]

Leelee
1-917-[redacted]

LEGEND:., :.YOUNG
djyounglegend@[redacted]

Lenny
1-305-[redacted]

Levin, Alex
1-323-[redacted]

Levine, Adam
323-[redacted]

Levine, Adam
sudgee@[redacted]

Liat
1-323-[redacted]

Libel, Cody
1-817-[redacted]

Life, Glamorest
candycane@[redacted]

Lil John
1-678-[redacted]

888[redacted]skytel

Lindsey, Josh
liquidice@[redacted]

Lionetti, Jerk magnet

Joey
joeyselect@[redacted]

Lohan, Dina
1-516-[redacted]

Lohan, Lindsay
+1-347-[redacted]

Lohan, Lindsay
crossheart@[redacted]

Long, Brian
1-917-[redacted]

Lookadoo, Erica
1-310-[redacted]

Lopez, Carlos
1-310-[redacted]

Lopez, Peter
1-818-[redacted]

Lopez, 60 thompson Barbara
1-310-[redacted]

Louis Warren, Jr.
louiswarren@[redacted]

Lucas
1-310-[redacted]

Luvi
1-310-[redacted]

M, Carolyn
1-310-[redacted]

Moore, Jason
moore@[redacted]

Mabe, Chris
443-[redacted]

Maloof, George
1-702-[redacted]

Margolis, Ashley
1-310-[redacted]

Mark
quikkings711@[redacted]

MARTINEZ, JOSE
jose@[redacted]

Martinez, Teddy
teddymartinez@[redacted]

matter, doesntm
parisisthehottest@[redacted]

Maxim michelle
1-310-[redacted]

Mcknight, Clyde
clydemcknight@[redacted]

Me house
1-323-[redacted]

Meadows, Michael
michaelmeadows25@[redacted]

Mendez, Robert
auto@[redacted]

Meyer, Sarah
sarahmeyer@[redacted]

Meza, Jose
whitemenace@[redacted]

Miami new yrs
1-760-[redacted]

Michael
1-310-[redacted]

Michelle
1-917-[redacted]

Mintz, Elliott
1-312-[redacted]

Mitra, Rhona
1-323-[redacted]

mlmo724@[redacted]

mlmo724@[redacted]

Model, Taylor
1-323-[redacted]

Mom
1-310-[redacted]

Moore, Jason
moore@[redacted]

Moore, Jason
moore@[redacted]

Mote, Logan
loganmote@[redacted]

Muniz, Frankie
fmuniz@[redacted]

Murphy, Brendan
+1-646-[redacted]

Musix darlene
615-[redacted]

Muska, Chad
+1-323-[redacted]

Neo/jason
neo410_01@[redacted]

Newell, Tyler
jaderboy@[redacted]

Newson, San fran gavin
1-415-[redacted]

Nick hawk
1-310-[redacted]

nickyhilton@[redacted]

Nitch, Ryan
ryan6@[redacted]

Noras
323-[redacted]

Nowalski, Nikki
dixa@[redacted]

NY, Prive
1-212-[redacted]

O, Guy
guyo@[redacted]

O, Pat
Pat_O'Brien@[redacted]

Obrien, Pat
Pat_O'Brien@[redacted]

Olsen, Ashley
1-310-[redacted]

onlyartist@[redacted]

Ornelas, Christian J.
CJOrnelas@[redacted]

Oseary, Guy
guyo@[redacted]

Oseary, Guy

OU, PNStaR
pnstar@[redacted]

Ovadia, Rachael
rachaelo@[redacted]

P, BIG
BIGPERCY@[redacted]

Pijeau, Jean
streetz11429@[redacted]

Paige
1-818-[redacted]

Panniell, Jason
neo410_01@[redacted]

Paris
310-[redacted]

Paris mom, Marianna
011-30-[redacted]

Parry, Heather
1-323-[redacted]

Party guy
1-651-[redacted]

Pat, Dr
1-310-[redacted]

Paul Random
polo2004@[redacted]

Pearlman, Ronald
1-212-[redacted]

Peele, Barry
bp@[redacted]

Peter
310-[redacted]

Peters, Christine
1-310-[redacted]

Peterson, Hunter
hunterpeterson@[redacted]

Pharrel
1-646-[redacted]

Philippoussis, Mark
mark7@[redacted]

Phillipoussis, Mark
011-61-[redacted]

Phillipoussis, Mark
+61-[redacted]

Phillips, Bijou
1-323-[redacted]

Phillips, Bijou
1-323-[redacted]

Pijeau, Jean
streetz11429@[redacted]

Plant, Adam Security
562-[redacted]

Popeil, Lauren
1-310-[redacted]

Popoo
1-310-[redacted]

Power, Katherine
1-323-[redacted]

Powers, Shane
spowers@[redacted]

R, Larry
1-917-[redacted]

Rachel
1-305-[redacted]

Rachel
1-310-[redacted]

raffles
raffles@[redacted]

Random
RonnieBautista@[redacted]

Rashid
1-917-[redacted]

Reitman, Joe
joeugly@[redacted]

Rich, Richie
1-469-[redacted]

RiCheLLe
richellexoxo@[redacted]

Richie, Miss Nicole
NRichie@[redacted]

Richie, Nicole
nrichie@[redacted]

Richie
1-213-[redacted]

Rick
310-[redacted]

Riley, Darnell
661-[redacted]

Roddick, Andy
1-512-[redacted]

Ronson, Samantha
1-917-[redacted]

Rowan, Amanga
1-917-[redacted]

Ruhstaller, Matt
Matt.Ruhstaller@[redacted]

Rumer
rubytuesday@[redacted]

Ryan
Ryan
1-310-[redacted]

S, A
1-310-[redacted]

S, John
1-818-[redacted]

S, Scott
1-917-[redacted]

Sartiano, Scott
1-917-[redacted]

Sawczenko, Nicole
443-[redacted]

Scaggs, Austin
1-917-[redacted]

Scala, La
310-[redacted]

Schiller, Anthony
1-310-[redacted]

Schneider, Scott
sschneider@[redacted]

Schulman, Jessie
1-310-[redacted]

Schulman, Jessie
jschul@tmail.com

Schulman, Jessie Mobile
Personal
310-[redacted]
310-[redacted]

jschul@[redacted]

Schulman, Jessie
jschul@[redacted]

Seed
1-866-[redacted]

Segal
917-[redacted]

Select
1-646-[redacted]

Sentanni, Louis
1-856-[redacted]

showbizkid16@[redacted]

"Sh"
1-917-[redacted]

Shantell
1-310-[redacted]

Shapiro, Pj
1-310-[redacted]

Shapiro, Robert
1-310-[redacted]

rshapiro@[redacted]

Shauna
1-310-[redacted]

Shavan
1-862-[redacted]
1-973-[redacted]

Shriftman, Lara
laras@[redacted]

Shriftman, Lara
1-310-[redacted]

Shuman, Jonny
jonny@[redacted]

Sienna
1-646-[redacted]

Simmons, Russel
1-212-[redacted]

Simpson, Ashlee
1-310-[redacted]

Smikle, Vallen
305-[redacted]

SMOKEY
smokey@[redacted]

Sonya
1-310-[redacted]

Sorum, Matt
1-323-[redacted]

Southwest Airlines
1-800-[redacted]

Spiritus, Lisa
lisa@[redacted]

Spiritus, Lisa
lisa@[redacted]

Stewart, Kimberly
sexystewart@[redacted]

Stewart, Sean
1-310-[redacted]

Stewart, Sean
1-310-[redacted]

Swanson, Bank jermeny
1-310-[redacted]

jswan@[redacted]

T, Brandon
18653[redacted]

T, J
406-[redacted]

Tiffany
tiffanytreadwell@[redacted]

Taryn
1-323-[redacted]

Tatto dr frank ryan Bh

Tepperberg, Noah
Noah@[redacted]

Tessa
1-310-[redacted]

Thorpe, Alexis
1-310-[redacted]

Thorpe, Alexis
lex33@[redacted]

Θ ₤₤ ☆, ☆₥ ₮ ₥ ₪
nelmotzyesquire@[redacted]

Traina, Nessie
1-310-[redacted]

Trentham, Brandon
+1-865-[redacted]

Troy Simple life
213-[redacted]

Tubby
1-323-[redacted]

Twiggy
1-310-[redacted]

UniQue, StyleZz
stylezz@[redacted]

United airlines
1-800-[redacted]

Usher
crusher@[redacted]

V, Holly
323-[redacted]

Valerie
1-310-[redacted]

Valetta, Amber
1-917-[redacted]

Vegas
1-702-[redacted]

Velger, Natalie
Victor
1-310-[redacted]

Victor
valegria02@[redacted]

Victoria gotti
1-516-[redacted]

Vin
1-917

Vin Diesel
+1-310-[redacted]

Vision, 3D Da
threedee@[redacted]

W, Jane
1-310-[redacted]

Willis, Steven
stevenwillis@[redacted]

W., Steve
stevew32@[redacted]

Wagner, Courtney
1-310-[redacted]

Watt, Dominique
pinacolada@[redacted]

Weiss, Sara
sarajaye@[redacted]

West, John
johnwest@[redacted]

Williams, Chad
chadwilliams@[redacted]

Wilson, Luke
1-310-[redacted]

Wilson, Peta
1-323-[redacted]

Winkler, Zoe
1-310-[redacted]

Womack, Kelly
kwomack@[redacted]

Womack, Kelly
kwomack@[redacted]

Wyndam Bellage Hotel
310-[redacted]

X
+1-505-[redacted]

Yowla, Frank
yowlafyed7@[redacted]

Yvke
1-917-[redacted]

Zack
1-310-[redacted]

Zila, Han
sokit2me@[redacted]

Zinga, Eglantina
Zingg, Eglantina
eglantina@[redacted]

[misceallenous numbers redacted]

2way, My
1-310-[redacted]

72
slash72@[redacted]

808, Jswan
jswan@[redacted]
——-

The Sidekick Saga

Paris Hilton Hacked: The 'US Weekly' Analysis

Jessica — Tue, 22 Feb 2005 09:03:19 EST

We were lying in bed last night (yes, everyone at Gawker shares a bed—and a single toothbrush), cozied up with our hot cocoa and engrossed in our copy of Paris Hilton's hacked files, when we noticed something very interesting. Ken Baker, the West Coast Executive Editor of US Weekly, is listed in her address book. Granted, it's not unusual for celebrities of Paris' character to have the contact information for their tabloid puppetmasters on hand, but there are also some items in her notebook that have our internal hamsters spastically running on their wheels:

Ken baker at us in town party at sagamore on friday

The note is from September 29, 2004, and we assume she's referring to the trendy Sagamore hotel in Miami, not the Sagamore resort in the Adirondacks (although Paris in the Adirondacks could be fun). So why would she care if Ken Baker is in Miami? Ponder for a moment, then examine an earlier entry from August 25, 2004:

tell ken about jess trying to bone JT

There's only one Ken listed in her address book and — you guessed it! — it's Ken Baker. Huh. Why would she want to talk about some random Jessica's attempts to make sweet, sweet love to this JT fellow? And, more importantly, which Jessica merits a phone call to Ken Baker? Who is "JT," and why would US Weekly be interested in this? We have some guesses, but we haven't slept in days and we don't want to rush to judgment on this one. Not publicly, anyhow. Rest assured, we privately passed judgment ages ago.
The Sidekick Saga

Paris Hilton Hacked: The World Responds

Haber — Tue, 22 Feb 2005 08:34:20 EST

Reports of The Hack Heard 'Round the World are coming in from, well, around the world. Americans may be proud to claim Paris Hilton as our own, but she also belongs to the world. And the world is all over this story.

Here's a look at how other countries are covering the most important news event of the last ten years:

Canada: Cdn stars among those on Paris Hilton's publicized cellphone list

Australia: Secret Service probes Hilton hack

England: Stars' numbers appear on the web:

Iran: Strong Earthquake Hits Iran, Hundreds Dead

Brazil: Brazil Leader Vows to Catch Nun's Killers

Belgium: Paris Hilton's phone hacked, friends lost.

Ireland: Hilton s address book appears online

Vatican City: Pope Resumes Visits With Foreign Leaders

The Intricacies Of Hilton's Hacked Address Book

Jessica — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 12:00:01 EST

The weather may be crap and your spa might be closed, but at least we have Paris Hilton to keep us busy during this otherwise boring three-day weekend. A reader, having spent a few too many hours scrutinizing Paris' hacked address book, writes:

I was particulary intrigued by an entry simply stated as "Dr Pat," so I did a reverse lookup of the number. The number returned registered to a Dr. Stephen Patt, who I then googled.

According to this site, "Suboxone and Subutex approved doctor in Santa Monica, CA. Dr. Stephen Patt may be able to help patients struggling with drug addiction, specifically those withdrawing from herion or other opiates by prescribing suboxone or subutex."

Now, why someone would need Dr. Patt's assistance and his phone number at their reach is up for speculation. You do the math.

We're not implying anything. And we hate math. We just find this incredibly interesting.
The Sidekick Saga

Paris Hilton's Sidekick: A Pre-Hack Look Back

Jessica — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 09:56:01 EST

Remembering the better times.

Photo courtesy of Jennifer Snow.

The Sidekick Saga

Paris Hacked: Searching For Answers

Jessica — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 08:37:30 EST

As the world reels from the shock and empathetic pain we feel for hacking victim Paris Hilton, Gawker is forced to look for answers. We've realized that this is not the first time Paris Hilton has fallen prey to the cruelty of others. From a profile written in 2003:

In the meantime, I go to get my purse, and it's not where I left it. Hilton's is gone, too. We look all over. She's worried about her passport — she's supposed to go to Germany in two days — plus her platinum-and-diamond Franck Muller watch, worth about $20,000. Nervous, she's gone from supermodel perfection to Macaulay Culkin, all clownlike lips and doleful eyes. The room empties out; the Iranian girls leave along with [Simon] Rex. A couple of guys ask what's happening.

"We got jacked, man," says Hilton, scraping the floor with her sneaker. "People are always stealing my stuff. This happens all the time. Everyone is mean."

Keeping in mind that the "meanness" of the world also resulted in her lost dog and now this tragic Sidekick debacle, we're rather certain that Paris is the victim of a curse, no doubt cast by an evil coven of rival socialites who cast spells over a boiling cauldron of opiates.
Princess Paris [Rolling Stone]

The Collected Works Of Paris Hilton's Hacked Sidekick

Jessica — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 07:00:48 EST

Perusing the notebook from Paris Hilton's Sidekick, we wondered: How to best introduce this, the most profound work of the modern era? Can mere words possibly do justice to its raw brilliance? Who are we to dare characterize the intimate inner-workings of the mind of a genius? We can't; her words speak for themselves. A mere sampling of Paris' notes demonstrates her intellectual mastery and tireless work ethic [everything from here on out is a giant sic]:

· tell ken about jess trying to bone JT
· Do you wanna leave soon, ill pretend I hsve 2 go pee and u wait 3 mins than come by yourself to the back entrance
· Victor magic tan representative.
· that's hot tank tops like chrome hearts iold english writinh that's hot
· call maroon 5 get birth control kill pill [Ed: We can relate to this last one — Maroon 5 always gets us in trouble.]

And, our personal favorite:

· And what conversation might that be bitch?
What do you think kristen
Did she learn her lesson?
Welsome back to gamma?
I think gamsy wants a little kiss
Its a gamma tradition
Gamsy is waiting

Fascinating. We're sending that last bit to the lab for further analysis. In the meantime, the Collected Works are available in their entirety after the jump. Do keep a cold compress nearby; the influx of information is dizzying.

Last Modified 2:02 PM, January 14, 2005
1 21st to sundance drop off van nuys a maui jan 2 till 9 4 seasons[redacted#]
817 [redacted#]
310 [redacted#] lindsay
Luvi 310 [redacted#]
781 [redacted#]
502 [redacted#]
Kihei town center off south kehei rd
10 mins sansei karaoke
516 juan carlos show me trailer539
[redacted#] snl
Random 323 [redacted#]
617[redacted#] paul weirdo
Bob 612 [redacted#]
617 [redacted#] sad boy
404 [redacted#]

Last Modified 2:02 PM, January 14, 2005
9

Last Modified 6:00 PM, September 16, 2004
228[redacted #] girl of brandon
845 highland and willoufhby1 an 702 [redacted#] antonia
Geoffrey comes in the 6th
1 nicdk
1 chad
3 kevin
4paris
5 ?
6 francesac1 1 718 [redacted#]
718 [redacted#] term 9 admirals club
329 noe 19th
United 630 arrive 750 flt 997 bill 415 [redacted#]

Last Modified 1:01 PM, December 4, 2004
917[redacted#] collin
[redacted#]
305[redacted#]
1310[redacted#]
Fatima at 10 am american jfk 730 and 8
Fatima 310 [redacted#]
13 917 some girl
Amber
626[redacted#] 512[redacted#]
Melrose and huntley
310[redacted#]
1310 [redacted#]
Erin smith lisa klines asst works there. Left
Mike sandwich met at esquire looking for bands 917 [redacted#]
314 [redacted#]
Mark cuban 214[redacted#]

8:53 PM, November 24, 2004
Buy a lap top
Ron perlman 212 [redacted#]
1 a start fininf band members and dance class work out
Jennifer goldman in ny for weekend 310 [redacted#]
John diamond cuffs are in with H. Need stuff back
Charlie muirhead coming to la this weekend
Nicole lenz in ny
1 brett coplin playing 323 [redacted#]
In casey 503 [redacted#] whisky 503 [redacted#]
Peter lopez phil maloof nov 14 new years eve special big $
Fred prince call dj am wire money

Last Modified 11:13 AM, November 18, 2004
A 1 eli manning 24

Last Modified 6:29 PM, November 23, 2004
A eglenatina

Last Modified 6:03 PM, October 5, 2004
Alex soannis

Last Modified 7:43 PM, February 12, 2005
Allan Jewelry 510 [redacted#]
Darnell Ryley

Last Modified 12:58 PM, September 27, 2004
And what conversation might that be bitch?
What do you think kristen
Did she learn her lesson?
Welsome back to gamma?
I think gamsy wants a little kiss
Its a gamma tradition
Gamsy is waiting

Last Modified 8:31 AM, September 29, 2004
Ashley margolis 323[redacted#] producer mary pallon
Peter lopez will black eye pees rob b
Nicky hilton private plane to vegas
Ken baker at us in town party at sagamore on friday. Steve madden shooot. Break in 323 [redacted#]

Last Modified 2:38 PM, August 25, 2004
Vcs10at aol cleopatra
1714[redacted#] dancing shoes
D
[redacted#]
Albarbara12@[redacted] cleopatra ,ad 310 [redacted#]
Jason wein 310 [redacted#] stephanie simon
631 [redacted#] sargeDo that's hot tank tops like chrome hearts iold english writinh that's hot with crosses and tiatas
Carsondaily said to document everything guy said next truth or dare have cams at all times making if the club get carson number new years special for nbc or abc702[redacted#] ricky mark antons friend
Claudia 323 [redacted#] tracy feith

Do business woth andre harell somehowThe hive movie with miramax Alan rubin the duke montreal sanada conrad group canada clo
Tanning sprays woth devom
hing apparel
Yana k tommy 213 [redacted#] her show fri
512 [redacted#] andy
702 [redacted#] r
Ian eizenberg at marvad
520 [redacted#]
House house fix it buzz kill
Houston and thompson
Saran. Paul 310[redacted#] richard squire
Jonathan poster the hillz
Lisa long 310 [redacted#]
323 [redacted#] contact victor amanda demm717 [redacted#] 310 eric
310 [redacted#] I miss u where r u
Skye 718 [redacted#]
Casey gig at whisky nov 19 503[redacted#]
309 [redacted#] crank
305 [redacted#]
818v miriam 323 [redacted#]

Last Modified 6:37 AM, November 12, 2004
Barham.
Right on olive
Right on alameda
Stay on alameda for 3 miles
Go under the fwy
2 lights past fwy is san fernando rd turn left
Left again 1st light e providencia [redacted#]

Last Modified 6:54 PM, September 15, 2004
Burbank to vegas
B 902 [redacted#]
310[redacted#] kyle

Last Modified 5:56 PM, September 18, 2004
Call gary shandlin get tape of everything

Last Modified 10:09 PM, September 19, 2004
Call madison re shoes
House bentley

Last Modified 6:29 PM, September 19, 2004
Call nicole bday buy present
Call madison 4 shoes

Last Modified 4:02 PM, September 22, 2004
Call the choreographer

Last Modified 2:00 AM, September 12, 2004
Chantal baechler alexander on list
1347 [redacted#] naomi Do you wanna leave soon, ill pretend I hsve 2 go pee and u wait 3 mins than come by yourself to the back entrance
407 [redacted#] trace 901 [redacted#]

Last Modified 3:34 PM, October 8, 2004
Club red light dot com2

Last Modified 8:17 PM, September 23, 2004
Craig garrison at wb 818 [redacted#]
1212[redacted#] ellen lavar

Last Modified 1:32 PM, September 8, 2004
Denise rich daughter wedding oct 9
[redacted#]

Last Modified 1:50 PM, September 29, 2004
Elliott
323[redacted#]
[redacted#] 310 lisa
323[redacted#]

Last Modified 11:08 AM, September 25, 2004
Fr

Last Modified 3:31 PM, September 26, 2004
Freckles
[redacted#] 818 rob kavalo
337 [redacted#] collin
Billy smith bentley gt 901 [redacted#]

Last Modified 7:44 PM, September 17, 2004
Fred job on fri 310 [redacted#]
917[redacted#]

Last Modified 6:21 PM, February 8, 2005
Fwampfwampat @ [redacted]

Last Modified 11:57 AM, September 26, 2004
Its nick u bitcg 732 [redacted#]
702 [redacted#] danny
305 [redacted#]
917 [redacted#] harry morton
Chris riley
605 park towers

Last Modified 8:32 PM, December 3, 2004
Jan 26 san fran ballet opening nite

Last Modified 5:38 PM, December 22, 2004
Jessica meisels

Last Modified 11:29 PM, September 3, 2004
Kyle ben affleck

Last Modified 5:57 PM, September 16, 2004
Moe counter offer today
Alez schaeddel
Allie weiss lenny kravitz wants me to do
917 [redacted#]
David lachappele

Last Modified 2:09 PM, September 10, 2004
Mom and dad 310 [redacted#]
760[redacted#]
Adam in LA 310 [redacted#]
Baltazar getty
213[redacted#]
503[redacted#]
Rachhel in miami 772 [redacted#]

Last modified 12:08 PM, September 26, 2004
Mr chow left valet
Black eye peas and sex lies and videos guy in ny call peter lopez
Paige 818[redacted#]
Moe 310[redacted#] get financing together
Ricardo - 917 [redacted#]
Detective Scott 213 [redacted#] burglary
Sara pantera [redacted#] n bronson ave 323 [redacted#]
October 15 23 more sl3
Namoi 702 [redacted#] suck my c@ck
Jusske supermodel 917 [redacted#]
Call pedal to the medal

Last Modified 1:24 PM, September 8, 2004
Mr chow left valet pass for century city

Last Modified 1:16 PM, September 8, 2004 Oct23
1305[redacted#] tara estaban and marciano
1 917 [redacted#]
[redacted#] luck

Last Modified 8:50 PM, October 5, 2004
October 23 charity event in wilmington, n carolina
305[redacted#]

Last Modified 7:39 PM, October 2, 2004
Paris hilton entertainment inc
Trace
760 [redacted#] mike Tan machine free
John hair
Call rosalina
917 [redacted#]
Call herve leger and lingerie store
Site
Check from rick
Call maroon 5
Get birth control kill pill

Last Modified 2:07 PM, October 5, 2004
Pauly shore 310[redacted#]

Last Modified 2:36 PM, August 25, 2004
Record plant on highland and santa monica

Last Modified 9:27 PM, September 13, 2004
Rick gosset motor car [redacted#]
9

Last Modified 5:44 PM, September 27, 2004
Robeet hart 310 [redacted#]

Last Modified 2:39 PM, August 25, 2004
Tara[redacted#]

Last Modified 9:02 PM, August 25, 2004
Tell ken about jess trying to bone JT

Last Modified 10:33 PM, September 19, 2004
The only reason I didn't go to vegas was becasue I wanted to see you. How am I disrepectful

Last Modified 6:59 PM, September 19, 2004
To create a note of your own, press the Menu button and select "New Note". A blank note will open. Type your note contents, then when finished, press the wheel to save and close your new note.

Last Modified 7:21 PM, August 22, 2004
Trace vegas 323 [redacted#]

Last Modified 7:18 PM, February 12, 2005
Vavina, james gardner, 10 tigers, 15th and 10th. 917 [redacted#] ombra
[redacted#]
[redacted#]

Last Modified 2:36 PM, September 15, 2004
Will wright
503[redacted#]
Mom
Chad 323 [redacted#]
Ellen sc 102 editing room
Frankie b jeans
Gina hoffman 323 [redacted#]
Victor magic tan representative. 35 grand booth for free 310 [redacted#]
310 [redacted#]
Peter lopez rob kavalo radio music awrds 25 and 26 in vegas, new songs
Henry. Ingrid. Russel simmons bday dinner sat
Ingrid party at Rumi
Rachel 305 [redacted#]

——————

Paris Hilton Notes [Gorillamask]
Paris Hilton Gets Hacked [CC]

Paris Hilton Gives Us Her Best 'Hacked Cameraphone' Face

Jessica — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 06:00:51 EST

Click image for NSFW collage.

Contrary to popular belief, the simple point-and-shoot technique is not the best way to make memories with your T-Mobile Sidekick cameraphone. As Gawker's resident tech guru Paris Hilton demonstrates, you actually need to take off your shirt and suck face with the nearest female in order for the Sidekick to perform at its fullest potential. Study the images for yourself and practice with a friend!

On a serious note, it genuinely makes us sick to post this stuff — an image of Burt Reynolds really toes the lines of decency. If there hasn't yet been a Kathy Hilton suicide watch, now's certainly the time.
Paris Hilton Gets Hacked [CC]