Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby and EIC Elizabeth Spiers hold ArtReview's Daniel Kunitz hostage.

When we asked special correspondent Noelle Hancock to cover last night's Mediabistro FishBowlNY launch, she immediately told us to go to hell. We were, after all, asking her to go to media inferno Michael's in the middle of a blizzard. But we're shitty like that and Noelle is a sucker for free booze, so we forced her and photographer Nikola Tamindzic to see what happens when the media stops crooning whale songs to each other long enough to tap a keg. After the jump, hilarity ensues.

New York Times editor Ariel Kaminer and agent Ira Silverberg discuss the lack of sashimi.

When I agreed to hit Michael's, I accepted my fate: these parties are never a pretty sight. Blogging is for people who don't have the face for television, the voice for radio, or the J-school degree for real journalism. You're basically witnessing what happens when recessive genes unite. But then I remembered that I'm broke, unemployed, and in the words of Mr. Springsteen: This gun's for hire. Even if we're just dancing in the dark.

John Homans, executive editor of New York magazine, is not amused.

From left, Salon's Kerry Lauerman and Times writer David Carr work on recruiting the Observer's Suzy Hansen for their afterparty.

Absolute editorial director Caroline Miller gives her best adoring gaze to tweed-clad Sunday Styles "Age of Dissonance" columnist Bob Morris.

Christian Moerk of FishbowlNY sips his 56th drink.

ICM's Kate Lee and Mediabistro EIC Elizabeth Spiers share a moment.

Upon arrival, everyone is slightly guarded knowing that anything you say can and will be held against you on someone's website. At this point, the crowd collectively hits the open bar. Mediabistro e-i-c Elizabeth Spiers is looking vampy in a long black gown, striking her best "lady in the street, but a freak in the bed" pose. Also on hand is Fishbowl editor Christian Moerk, who tonight is pretending to hold things together for the sake of the kids.

New York Magazine's Serena Torrey is cast as the evening's requisite publicist.

Matt Wells of the BBC and John Cassidy from The New Yorker talk about very important, multisyllabic things.

Media parties require serious concentration, indeed.

Work's Jim Jazwiecki, Maer Roshan of Radar infamy, and WWD's Jeff Bercovici talk fashion.

Various bloggers, staffers from The New York Times, the New York Observer, and The New Yorker abound, along with the inevitable Greg Lindsay. City magazine editors are lamenting that people don't understand that their magazine is a national and not a city — publication. We don't have the heart to suggest that the title may have something to do with it.

Kyle Crafton, Mediabistro publisher (at left), sings showtunes into his beer bottle. He loves Phantom!

Jared Hohlt of New York magazine salts John Homans' game.

This Black Book editor is really just happy to be at Michael's. He loves the California cuisine!

Daily News gossiper Ben Widdicombe and agent Ira Silverberg pretend to tolerate each other.

After this picture was taken with Lola Ongunaike, all three party-goers literally stabbed each other in the back. Paramedics barely made it in time.

The Post's Bridget Harrison and Matt Wells discuss bangers and mash.

Gawker stalkerazzi Nikola Tamindzic is snapping everyone's photo, many of which were punctuated with middle finger exclamation points. More drinking. Then the bartender cuts us off (dick) and everyone leaves faster than a knock-off vendor can pick up his sidewalk blanket.

Laurel Touby, sans boa.

Radar's Maer Roshan tries to collect more "contributing editors."

Greg Lindsay looks for a dancing partner.

It's always very important to study everyone's shoes.

John Cassidy from The New Yorker and Clare McAdam bond over their mutual love of puppies.

Aaron Hicklin, Black Book editor and PETA lover.

Jeff Bercovici from Women's Wear Daily knows something you don't know.

When the booze is gone, so are we. Alas, there will be no cyber-sex in the champagne room tonight.

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