Queens: The Brooklyn Of Brooklyn

Middling Queens neighborhood Jackson Heights (whoa now, Queens residents) is taking on fancy Brooklyn writer's enclave Park Slope in some provocative ads! "More Park Less Slope" they say, mystifyingly. "Queens Is The New Brooklyn." They also made themselves a neat little "JH" logo shaped as a man resembling Mr. Peanut. Break out the checkbooks, home buyers! Jackson Heights is preferable to Park Slope, based on arrogance levels alone. But the established lowest-to-highest rankings of NYC boroughs (Staten Island- Bronx- Queens- Brooklyn- Manhattan- Philadelphia) will never change. Bigger picture of the aspirational ad, after the jump. More »

Hancock Park 'House Of Davids' Owner To Take His Search For A Manservant To Basic Cable

Ask anyone in L.A. if they have ever seen the House of Davids, and you're likely to be greeted with an enthusiastic round of nodding heads and disgusted faces familiar with the infamous Hancock Park residence one might describe as an architectural interpretation of the top tier of Siegfried and Roy's fantasy wedding cake. But not much is known about the house's owner—until now, that is, as Losanjealous notes the following cast bio on the site for a new E! reality show already guilty of flagrant false-zip-code-advertising, High Maintenance 90210: More »

Brentwood's Magical Treehouse

What do you buy the infant who has everything? A gold-plated teething ring? A Himalayan yak-hair woobie? A new Beemer? Nah, all the neighbors' kids have those already. Behold, a a fairy tale from Brentwood: More »

Venicewood: Hollywood Invades The Beach

Where else would we turn to for a story about Hollywood's colonizing barbarians at Venice's gates but the NY Obserrver? A piece in today's Observer details tensions of artsy locals (and colorful crack smokers) as they helplessly watch their beach paradise be overrun by fleets of Mercedes carrying industry suits looking to snap up overpriced real estate and separate themselves from the differently-flavored yuppies of Brentwood: More »

Corcoran Listing Lacks Potential

Today in housing bubble hell, Corcoran has a new listing for a 1 bedroom, 1.5 bath (a steal at just under half a million!) on the UWS. The realtor describes the unit as follows, letter for letter: More »

Cyndi Lauper Pays Less Rent Than You Do

It's good to know that New York's rent-stabilization system continues to work just as marvelously as it always has (or, at least, as it has in recent years). After nearly 10 years of litigation, the New York State Court of Appeals, the state's top court, issued a ruling yesterday that effectively sets rent for Lauper and her husband at $988.56 a month. For a four-room apartment. In the Apthorp. Which is arguably New York's nicest, fanciest, and most elegant rental building. More »

The Billionaires' Beach

Why does Malibu's Carbon Beach attract Hollywood mogul residents like David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg, and renters willing to drop a hundred grand a month on summer rent? No, it's not because the 'Bu's breathtaking vistas make a fine backdrop for lazy days of crumpling up unacceptably wrinkly hundred dollar bills and pitching them into the Pacific. Forbes has the answer: More »

Google Can Be So Cruel

No, that is NOT what we meant. We would never say such a thing! Shame on you, Googlebots. More »

Corcoran on the Art of Child-Rearing

For us, checking the Corcoran Real Estate Empire's Listings of Doom is as essential to our daily routine as our morning dose of java and adderall. Lo and behold, there's this little gem on West 93rd street, a 1-bedroom co-op for $365,000: More »

$90 Million Hamptons Estate Keeps Riff-Raff Away

Like sands through the hourglass, the Hamptons continue to hurtle away from reality: An East Hampton estate has sold for a record-setting $90 million, the highest number ever paid for a U.S. residential property. The 40-acre property is on posh Further Lane and features two guest cottages, a man-made pond, lap pool, sand dunes, and servant's quarters (but of course). The main house, however, only boasts three bedrooms and three baths — thus leading the buyer (some Swedish industrialist, as they all are) to feel that his purchase is downright modest. More »

Live Like The Stars For Hundreds Of Thousands Of Pennies A Day

The LAT's Hot Property column, your weekly guide to everything overpriced and celebrity-related in the local real-estate market, delves into the Malibu summer rental market, where the ridiculously wealthy can pay relatively piddling sums to spend the season insulated from the beachgoing hoi polloi. Here are some of the going rates to breathe the rarefied air (and hump like crazed, sandy weasels in the California king beds) of some fabulous landlords: More »

Remainders: Democratically Defining Your Neighborhood

· Isn't it about time you had a say in whatever absurd acronym they slap on your 'hood? Curbed thinks so, and they've got a roundup of neighborhoods in need of names. Personally, we think area between Tribeca and Soho desperately deserves to be called ToeHo. [Curbed] More »

Dude, Where's My West Village Frat?

For the three of you who fondly look back on your collegiate days of panty-raiding and keg-standing, today's Observer has some great news. 57 Leroy Street — one of the West Village's more millionaire-friendly locations — has become home to the NYU chapter of the Delta Phi fraternity. ROCK! More »

7-11 Spreads Its Seed In Manhattan

God, it's like Horrific Real Estate Day around here. So shield your eyes, dear Manhattan, or be blinded by the repugnance of a fetal 7-11, coming soon to the corner of 23rd and Park. Should this ghastly endeavor actually reach fruition, it will be the island's first only 7-11 and, consequently, your last summer free of the blood stains of suburbia. More »

What Ever Happen to Baby Jane?

Not that this is surprising, but the real-estate blog Triple Mint calls attention to yesterday's Post report that Andy Warhol's Factory is set to be converted into luxury condo lofts.

This former Con-Ed substation is an unusual T-shaped four story building with frontage on three sides: Madison Avenue, 33rd Street, and 32nd Street. It has been bought and sold numerous times since the estate owned it after the artist's death in 1987, but no one seems to have been able to use it effectively. The New York Post's Lois Weiss now reports that a partnership has plans to convert it into a 22-story luxury loft condo with 50 units.

We could turn this into a ideal metaphor for the transformation of Manhattan. We could wax nostalgic for a time when artists and weirdos and all sorts of interesting, creative people lived and worked in the borough, and were able to afford it. We could bemoan that it's instead turning into essentially an upscale suburb, an emasculated shell of its former vibrant self. We could whine about how all sorts of New York legends are being swallowed up by the real-estate boom, unable to hold out against high rents and luxury condoization and all that. (See also: CBGB's.) More »

Swifter! Higher! Stronger! And, Apparently, Unkillable!

Just because he got completely slapped down by Shelly Silver and Joe Bruno last week, you thought Bloomberg would have to give up on his Olympic dreams? Ha. Like so many of us, once the mayor realized he couldn't afford the Manhattan real estate he coveted, he reluctantly shifted his sights to the outer boroughs.

"This was not our first choice," Mr. Bloomberg said last night at a news conference at City Hall [announcing a new Shea Stadium as the Olympics centerpiece]. "But when you don't get your first choice, you find what you do have and fight harder to win with that one."

Really, Mike, our broker tells it's great in Flushing. You get so much more space for the money out there — and only 40 minutes on the 7 to midtown! More »

A Very, Very, Very Fine House?

We feel bad for Gary Rabin. We really do. He's the big swinging dick on the cover of yesterday's Times real-estate section, the guy who just didn't have enough space in his 19.6-foot-wide Greenwich Village brownstone.

In the fall of 2004, he found what he was looking for: a 38-foot-wide town house a few blocks away, a massive piece of real estate for New York. Sure, it was a lot more expensive, but he's a lot happier, too. He now owns one of New York's widest houses, in a category defined more than anything else by that single statistic.

More »

Fast, Cheap And Out Of Control

We tell ya, they'll blog about anything. Just launched: New York's Sixth, a real estate site devoted to Jersey City and Hoboken. This, of course, only makes sense; it's not like anyone is doing any Staten Island real estate blogs. (We'll resist making a mobile home joke here, thank you.) The most recent post describes a recent building in Jersey City set aside for artists; shockingly, they're having trouble filling it. More »

Defamer Real Estate: Penelope Cruz's New Insecurity

The Defamer Special Real Estate Correspondent once again takes us deep inside the LAT's "Hot Property" column, puzzling over why the formerly security-conscious Penelope Cruz swapped her gated residence for a seemingly less secure homestead: More »

Feldman Hits New Low: Living With Bloggers

You thought Corey Feldman had hit rock bottom. "The Surreal Life" was as bad as it could get, right? Or maybe it was playing himself in "Bikini Bandits?" Or maybe it was that he didn't get called to testify at the Michael Jackson trial? But nope. Feldman has now topped himself, or bottomed himself, as the case may be. More »

Adventures In Swag: Inside Gigi Grazer's Goodie Bag

A reader dumps out the contents of the gift bag from a certain author/A-list war bride's book party for the whole internets to see. Unsurprisingly, the gratis knickknacks blur the line between the sublimely ridiculous must-have accoutrements of Hollywood wifehood and objects of ironic, yet somewhat conflicted, roman a clef writer scorn: More »

NYC Real Estate: Sing Through The Tears

In honor of real-estate blog Curbed's one-year anniversary of reminding you that the paucity of your bank account will prevent you from ever truly "living," Andrew Krucoff of Young Manhattanite reflects on the joy of finding shelter in NYC: More »

45 Years Later, Lenny Kravitz's Soho Loft Still On Market

This is the closest you'll ever get to Nicole Kidman. More »

Defamer Real Estate: Misrepresenting A Hole

The Defamer Special Real Estate Correspondent again offers up a virtual tour in response to the C-list section of the LAT's "Hot Property" column, which this week features the decidedly un-rock "Sunset Strip" abode of former Hole/Drew Barrymore's Rising Boyfriend Force member Erik Erlandson: More »

Israeli Companies In WTC Area Make Inviting Terror Targets

And today in Jewish-Media-Manhattan Conspiracy news, Rudin Management has set up an Israeli outpost in order to lure members of the tribe to the financial district: More »

Defamer Real Estate: Hell House Too Good To Be True?

Finally, someone posts a Craiglist housing listing that we can really get behind: More »

Defamer Real Estate: Inside Tia Carrere's Schwinging Pad

The Defamer Special Real Estate Correspondent returns from semi-retirement to take our readers on a virtual tour of C-lister Tia Carrere's home in the hills, which was featured in this weekend's LAT "Hot Property" column. The "bachelorette pad" has hit the market with an asking price of $1.5 million, and its amenities include Asian-inspired flourishes (the designer apparently had a flair for the obvious), a "giant" hottub (which undoubtedly has hosted its share of handsy producers), and the inevitable shrine to lost Hollywood semi-glory (Wayne's World figures prominently). Step inside at your own risk: More »

Forbes: Most Expensive Zip Codes

Steve Schwarzman and Rupert Murdoch may live in New York's most expensive co-op apartments, but their Manhattan Gold Coast neighborhood leaves a little something to be desired, say the folks at Forbes, which lists the zip codes with the nation's most expensive housing. Top of the heap (based on median home prices) is Atherton, California, the 740 Park of Silicon Valley. California takes the four top spots on the list while New York doesn't even make the Top Ten. It's Tribeca (10013), in thirteenth place, that wins the honors for costliest 'hood in the city. Tribeca Film Festival-goers will be happy to note that Beverly Hills follows at number fifteen. And the high-falutin' Upper East Side? Zip codes 10128 and 10028 come in at 149th and 150th place respectively. Eat your heart out 10021.—MG More »

Ian Schrager Dont Need No Stinkin Studios

Discos? Been there. Prison? Done that. Phillipe Starck-designed hotels? What d'ya think this is, a W? Studio 54 co-founder Ian Schrager says he wants to change the way people live and introduce a revolutionary new concept in urban living. Again. Only this time, there s a whole philosophy behind it, rather than bags of 'ludes in the safe and cash stuffed in the ceiling. The website for his latest venture declares:

As old institutions fade and social structures crumble, nationality and class are being replaced by lifestyle.

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Adventures in (Possible) Power Potties: Jonathan Safran Foer

You're a young, widely acclaimed novelist who delights in giving introspective interviews into what it means to be human in an inhuman age. You love Bright Eyes. For you, Jonathan Safran Foer, nothing less than a bathroom fit for a prince will do. With the deal for the $6.75 million Park Slope townhouse Foer was said to be buying now signed, his possession of this regal stall may soon become reality. In JSF's own words, "The waiter serves it, you eat it, and you crap it. And then it s gone." (The gilt-edged toilet, however, is forever.) More »

O'Reilly Accuser Buys in Liberal Enclave

Andrea Mackris, the Fox News assistant who sued Bill O'Reilly for phone sex harassment then settled out of court, has found solace as only Manhattanites can: by taking a dip in the city's overheated real estate market. Manhattan Transfers reports that Mackris snagged an $809,000 condo in the building that Tina Fey also calls home on the Upper West Side — a special liberal land far, far away from the No-Spin Zone. More »

The High Line: Where Nature Meets Boutique Hoteliers

New plans for the revamping of the High Line, the elevated train tracks that snake from the Meatpacking District up through Chelsea, have been released. With work to start by year's end, we await the promise of an elevated urban oasis that climbs above the unceasing din of these gaudy hipster streets, elevating us, for one short moment, above the class stratification of New York City...

The designers are beginning to consider how the High Line will pass through or abut various new buildings, including a 15-story Andr Balazs hotel.

Or, uh, not. More »

Can't Fight The Corcoran Fever

Brooklyn real estate blogger (how many of those do we need, by the way?) BK Squeeze reports on the the weight of real estate's mighty, satanic fist: More »

Dear Hilary Swank: Your Home Makes Us Gush

When we saw that today's Times had a feature on the West Village town house belonging to Hilary Swank and her proudly emasculated husband Chad Lowe, we immediately cringed with the expectation of couches made out of baby skin and coasters encrusted in canary diamonds — you know, the usual crap-luxe you see in InStyle. More »

Brooklyn B-List Report: Adrian Grenier Buys In Clinton Hill

Things keep working out for actor Adrian Grenier, who's finally gotten past the curse of Drive Me Crazy and found some semblance of success on HBO's Entourage. The real estate stars also seem to be aligned in Grenier's favor, as his mother just happens to be a Corcoran broker — perhaps she helped him grab the three-story Clinton Hill property at right. Good news all around, we say: Bedford denizens no longer need to fear yet another summer full of Grenier-in-hot-pants sightings, and Mommy Grenier gets a commission just in time for Mother's Day. More »

Dream Hotel: You Really Don't Want To Stay There

Let us start by saying that the primary reason for this post is to feature the above photo, which we find remarkably hilarious. Vikram Chatwal sure does look serene for a 'tard whose Dream hotel has been recognized as little more than a dump. Anyhow. More »

Brooklyn Falls Under Corcoran's Spell

Are you still thinking about purchasing property anywhere near Manhattan? Think again, pauper: More »

Remainders: Throwing Rice At Touré

· CNN's go-to black man for pop culture, Touré, on his new bride: "She's somebody who can go with me from a 50 Cent concert to a Toni Morrison reading and be equally comfortable in both places." We should all be so lucky. [NYT] More »

Brooklyn: Real Estate Imitates Life

The Brooklyn aficionados at Brownstoner reports an interesting bit of real estate trickery across East River. It seems that the listing price of a Crown Heights limestone has had an extreme makeover: More »