Will I look like Jules Spehar if I do it? Will I get free Fresh Direct from my mom and a gun-toting photo shoot in Wyoming? These are the important questions.

I hear it can also give you a wicked case of laminitis if you're not too careful.

Also, side note, in the December issue of Jane (I think it was December, I am too lazy to check on that), Hill Duff was on the cover and there was a long interview with her, boring, but they did ask her about the horse-teeth-horse-steroid connection and if she was taking it. She was all "Ooooh no! Not me! I do Pilates and eat green beans".

Oh she does Pilates, the problem is she's neighing incessantly through the routine.

I first heard about this from a Chelsea queen back in 2002 or 2003. He told me it was what they give to cows to get them lean for meat production or somesuch. Back then it was a "take it just before your share in the Pines" kind of thing as it would basically kill you if you took it for more than a few weeks.

But moreso it pissed me off to have been imparted with this secret of the gay elite. The queen was calling me fat because my bodyfat is a collosal 12% and my BMI is 23. Made me so mad at back in the day. Because the truth hurts and I'm a total fatty.

"The Star" had this way back in October. (True to form, the version on their website includes three enticing paragraphs about how all the stars think "Clen" is absolutely wonderful, then cuts off before getting to the part about how it might kill you.)

"Hollywood's Secret Skinny Pill!"
http://www.starmagazine.com/celebrity_news_gossip/entertai...

My BMI is 20. That make me a fatty as well 'Mo?

Unless your BMI is under 16, you are a fatty to Hill Duff, R. Zoe & Fashion Week.

I am clearly a fattie,too. My body fat is 11.6% (BMI doesn't work for people of my body type -seriously).

Anyhow, I'll stick to the cheap method of the an ECA stack if and when I decide to become a non-fatty. Just the thought of down the deliciously inexpensive cocktail of Ephedrine HCl, Caffeine, and Aspirin makes my eyes twitch of nostalgia.

from "experts":
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
Overweight = 25-29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

Keeping in mind that the index is flawed against people with more then average muscle mass and flawed for those with less than normal muscle mass. For me to have a 42 chest, 19 arms and a 31 waist and still be approaching overweight it rather stoopid.

Granted, I do have some winter weight going on, but that's why we enjoy coke after those big holiday meals, right?

If you're not fainting on the L train thereby backing up traffic, you're a fatty (and no, drunken passing out doesn't count).

'Mo, you actually sound kinda hot.

Fuck, 19.1. I'm depressed.

How does one get their hands on horse/cow/whatever pills, exactly?

[From the dimensions, not the 'coke', although that's not a problem either]

Ooh BMI talk. fascinating!

Oh Willlll burrrrrr ... I need my non-fatsy meds.

And nobody cares about the poor asthmatic horses? The poor but totally fabulous-looking asthmatic horses?

momo, if you have 19 arms then I doubt having a great BMI matters all that much.

So that's how Hilary got those horse teeth all of a sudden! The price of being thin in Hollywood...

Seriously. Seriously. Measurements? Umm, what's next [links to pictures of penises]?! Save it for Match.com, yo.

the problem with this drug (other than, um, it killing you) is that in the long run it will actually cause you put on more weight (something to do with it messing up the body's use of fat, blah blah blah).

Is there anything Allure magazine can't teach me?

CORRECTIONS DEPARTMENT: 16, not 19

mention of measurements was to discuss the inaccuracy of said measures, which is off topic for which i apologize ... just a topic that interests me.

Wasn't it just last night at the Golden Globes that Ugly Betty taught us not to care about this kind of stuff?

Also, J Hud, G-Lock. The sistas bigness be stealing it from the skinny girls.

All we need to round out this post is for some 12 year old to come on and say EATING DISORDERS ARE NO JOKE YOU GUYS I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE THREE OF THEM OKEEZ MMM BYE.

Clenbuterol totally doesn't do what it sounds like in my head. Because you would think ClenchButt-erol would be some sort of 21st Century colon cleanse or something.

The problem with this drug is that you already have to be skinny to use it. If you're an out-of-shape fatass like me and you take Clenbuterol, your heart will explode. Christ, I get the shakes when I drink a can of Red Bull.

This is why when my friends ask me if I want a key bump, I say no and continue drinking heavily.

"Umm, what's next [links to pictures of penises]?!"

Can I nom this for a late t-shirt entry, in honor of Team Party Crash and future (fingers crossed) Gawker Pinups?

I think Claire/Clares are downers people.

Not only do they sell this crap OTC in Mexico, they advertised it on every pharmacy posterboard I saw for a 30 block span on a main strip. Technically, you can't get Xanax there w/o a "prescription" but the cheapo Clenbuterol gets doled out like Tic Tacs.

Well you gotta love a drug whose name sounds like one of Andy of Mayberry's inbred neighbors. But you know what drug name I really love? Klonopin.
Klonopin, klonopin, klonopin.
"So nice to meet you Mrs. Klonopin. I can certainly see where you daughter Hinda gets her good looks from."
Clem Buterol. Chortlesome.
Klonopin. Guffaw-worthy