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elijah pollack
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kids today
thanksgiving
A Gawker Thanksgiving
Every year Gawker commenter and ad sales guy (and the best argument for abolishing the divide between editorial and advertising) LolCait has a super special Thanksgiving in his mind. There all of his and your favorite characters meet and dreams come true. This year Laurel Touby hosts. More »
vasectomy
The WGA Strike Is Endangering Elijah Pollack's Welfare
Alternadad Neal Pollack has joined the Writer's Guild of America strike, which is just a politically advantageous way of saying he's still unemployed. IMDb lists Pollack's only screen credit as playing "Himself" on a 2003 episode of the Daily Show. At any rate, it's bad news for his son Elijah Pollack, who is stuck at home with his silly dad. In this grainy video footage, we see Neal and Elijah dressed in identical mock turtlenecks sitting on a sofa, shooting the shit. The ending is crappy. [CC]
Will Mordecai Stein And Elijah Pollack Be Torn Apart By Delancey Sohn?
Our story so far: Neal Pollack's son Elijah and Josh Stein's son Mordecai have enrolled at N.Y.U., where they have begun learning about poor people. It is the year 2025.
MORE »
Our story so far: Neal Pollack's son Elijah and Josh Stein's son Mordecai have enrolled at N.Y.U., where they have begun learning about poor people. It is the year 2025.
MORE » 
nevermind the pollacks
Elijah Pollack And Mordecai Stein Go To College In The Year 2020
Elijah and I decided to room together at the Dov Charney Washington Square Studiodrome, the new N.Y.U. dorm built where there used to be a park or something. No one understands me like him or him like me. Also, we get a discount on housing costs because the construction is crazy, which is a good thing since we need all the help we can get. My dad Josh and Uncle Neal say that since they became empty-nesters, the writing assignments have slowed to a trickle. And so I must contend with the clamor of jackhammers and the conversations of the rough-necked construction workers. Elijah counsels that one must needs be patient with the proletariat. Though they lack taste, he says, they do have souls. But frankly I find their patois poisonous. How am I to read Baudelaire's divine verse against a background of coarse and vulgar words? More »
nevermind the pollacks
My Son Mordecai And I Read Proust
It was a Tuesday morning and as I sat down to the computer, a mug of kombucha tea steaming at my elbow. I had made a breakfast ragout of autumnal vegetables (squash, pumpkin). The wife had taken our incredibly self-satisfied dog Leslie out for a walk and my four-year-old son Mordecai was in the other room, reading the Wall Street Journal "Puh-pah," he said, "when I'm in ur gardenz, prunin' teh plants, am I a hedge fund manager?" Smart kid! More »
daddybloggers anonymous
Will Elijah Pollack Ever Get A Day Off?
We recently launched a sneak attack against daddy-author Neal Pollack's adorable 4-year-old son, Elijah. Or more accurately, we launched a sneak attack against author Neal Pollack shamelessly exploiting Elijah for his own literary ambitions. Pollack responded. Fark weighed in. Facebook profiles were updated. Pollack expressed a realization: That his constant blogging of Elijah exposes the little tyke—or rather, the trite twee petite-bourgeoise portrayal of him—to public scorn. One might think this would prevent Pollack from sending little Elijah back into the baby mines. But then one would be wrong. More »
kid nation
Neal Pollack Half-Heartedly Defends His Character/Son
Understandably unhappy professional father Neal Pollack is understandably unhappy that yesterday we called his four-year old son Elijah the worst and predicted that in a few years he'll be a full-grown horror show. Why did we launch this "disgusting sneak attack," he asks, in an email blast to his "Friends, Colleagues, Supporters, and anyone else who might be interested." More »
the sins of the fathers
