From the e-desk of noted socialolgay Kristian Laliberte comes a missive with an opening that gave us pause:

Dear Friends,
Some of you are already helping with this amazing event, but I wanted to invite those who are not the chance to buy tickets. I am the Vice-Chair for the Junior Committee, and tickets at the Junior level are $250.00.

I am writing on behalf of The United Nations.

We paused here, as you no doubt just did, to clean the gobs of spat-out beverage off our monitor. And as we paused, we wondered whether the world was really as topsy turvy as it had seemed there for a second, or whether Kristian was perhaps exaggerating the importance of his role a tad? Well, you be the judge.

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) and Equality Now, would like to invite you to the Gala Dinner and Premiere of the Hollywood film Trade starring Kevin Kline, at the United Nations Headquarters. The film powerfully depicts the problem of international sex trafficking of women and children. Although the movie's narrative is fiction, it was inspired by "The Girls Next Door," an article by Peter Landesman published in The New York Times Magazine in January 2004.
This is the first time any major motion picture has held a world premiere at the UN. The premiere will take place at 7 p.m. on the 19th of September, 2007, in the historic Trusteeship Council Chamber at UN Headquarters in New York. The UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon will open the Premiere. The screening will be followed by a gala dinner in the magnificent UN Delegates Dining Room, from 9:00pm until 11:00pm. So far the host committee includes Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Hillary Swank, Sigourney Weaver, Sam Waterston, Stanley Tucci, Candice Bergen, Gloria Steinem, Phoebe Cates, Marisa Tomei, Eve Ensler, Ivanka Trump, Bianca Jagger, Jack McCollough, Lazaro Hernandez, Bijou Phillips, Zani Guggelman, Rachel Roy, Jessica Stam, Lucy Sykes, Eleonora Kennedy, Trade producer Roland Emmerich (director/producer/writer of "The Day After Tomorrow", "The Patriot", "Godzilla", and "Independence Day"), and Terry George (director/producer/writer of "Hotel Rwanda" and director of "In the Name of the Father"). Additional confirmed supporters that will be in attendance include Ted Turner and her holiness Sai Maa. Music will be provided by Mark Ronson.

To view a trailer of Trade, please log onto www.tradethemovie.com. All proceeds of the event will benefit victims of human trafficking.

I would like to ask for your support in the form of a ticket or table purchase for this amazing event. Individual tickets are $250. Tables are $5000 and seat ten.

As the UN is reaching out to the next generation of influential young people, we think he would make a great addition to the attendance. [Ed. Note: HUH?] I would be grateful if you could let me know at your earliest convenience so that we make all necessary arrangements.

If you have any questions, or would like more information, please contact me.
I hope you can join us.

Kind regards,
Kristian

4:40 PM on Tue Sep 4 2007
By Emily Gould
4,288 views
46 comments

Comments

rod townsend at 04:50 PM on 09/04/07
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Sally Struthers?
LaPretentieuse at 04:53 PM on 09/04/07
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Send this letter to 10 other people by midnight, and you will escape a horrible death.
LolCait at 04:53 PM on 09/04/07
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"P.S. Look at my pink dress! I mean shirt! I look like a pagina. I hope you come to my party because I'm going to be soooooo sad if you don't!!!!! OMG I'm freaking out!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!! Partteeeeee!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and could you bring potato chips or dip or salsa or something? I made a mix cd so no worries about that. I love you, whoever you are (or maybe I don't.) -K, bitches."
PimpMyCouch at 04:54 PM on 09/04/07
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Junior committee? So he's at the kid's table?
TedSez at 04:56 PM on 09/04/07
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I used to support this cause wholeheartedly. But then he went and misspelled Zani Gugelman.
bodreeyard at 04:56 PM on 09/04/07
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Isn't Kristian worried that the white slavers will mistake Rachel Roy for Rachael Ray and abscond with the wrong fame-whore?
Baberaham Lincoln at 04:57 PM on 09/04/07
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Am I gay for actually liking his outfit?
gonzosmom at 04:57 PM on 09/04/07
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Kristian will be performing the selfless act of personally opening his home to a number of boys between the ages of 9 -14 (provided they're pretty and look good in leather).

How can they ever repay him?
eastvillageidiot at 04:58 PM on 09/04/07
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@bodreeyard: But Sex Trafficking is Yum-O!
collegecallgirl at 04:59 PM on 09/04/07
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I hear the sex traffic in LA is really bad on the freeways.
CafeConLeche at 05:02 PM on 09/04/07
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Kristian, Perez called and needs this outfit back.
MisterHippity at 05:04 PM on 09/04/07
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I think it looks real cool when guys stuff crap into the front pockets of their pants, so that they walk around with two pocket-lumps on either side of their crotch. That, and the dual pink collars (one popped, one not), are the dead giveaways that this man must be a professional stylist.
IHateWhatYouHaveOn at 05:05 PM on 09/04/07
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@PimpMyCouch: I don't believe you even get a seat at the kid's table for that-maybe standing room out in the hallway.
the_mayoress at 05:05 PM on 09/04/07
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I'll watch anything based on The Girls Next Door!! Holly is my favorite!!1!
stew at 05:07 PM on 09/04/07
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arrgh, I hate when you send an email but forget to take out the part that makes it clear you're trying to get in Zac Efron's pants.
Clarence Rosario at 05:08 PM on 09/04/07
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Roland Emmerich? Oh, fuck you. Godzilla sucked.
Herrmann W. Kotyatko at 05:12 PM on 09/04/07
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I suppose that I can't hire an escort for this event. At least one can smoke in UN HQ.
stew at 05:15 PM on 09/04/07
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the cult people with the nikes called and they want their super-creepy mass-suicidal look back.
CherriSpryte at 05:15 PM on 09/04/07
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@Babraham Lincoln: gay, or you're a seven-year old girl looking for new outfits for Ken.
BinkysDream at 05:22 PM on 09/04/07
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Wow, does this mean that Gawker is actually invited (provided, of course, that you pony up the dough)? Or is he authorized to deploy the UN Peace-Keepers to keep your photogs out?
Aatom at 05:24 PM on 09/04/07
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I think it's the quizzical head tilt that he always affects for pictures that makes me want to pound my face against a brick wall the most.
Colonel Mustard at 05:38 PM on 09/04/07
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"My mom hired us a fortune-teller, too -- and not one of those phonies with a fake Hungarian accent who 'taaahhhks like zeeeees', but like an ACTUAL psychic -- and we can make s'mores in the fireplace, because it's gas and my mom said it's cool. I have Coke and Diet Coke and Sprite, but if you want like ginger ale or something, you have to bring it yourself, and Butros Butros Gali is bringing cheese dip and Tostitos! Hope you guys like Mean Girls and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants as much as I do! TTFN!"
depardoo at 05:38 PM on 09/04/07
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@Babraham Lincoln:

Yes.
DorothyMantooth at 05:39 PM on 09/04/07
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@Clarence Rosario: Right?!
I'm wondering how many girls they get out of the sex trade by blowing them up.
depardoo at 05:39 PM on 09/04/07
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Isn't there (and if not, why not) some international treaty prohibiting Mr. Laliberte from speaking or writing the phrase "UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon"? It seems so wrong.
Clarence Rosario at 05:49 PM on 09/04/07
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@DorothyMantooth: Totally. With Tom Jones crooning "Sex Bomb" on the soundtrack.
noasalira at 06:16 PM on 09/04/07
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speaking as one in the building, pink-boy could get himself in a wee bit of trouble by saying that he is speaking for The United Nations, especially if he used the UN logo when he did it. Junior Committee of what? The UN doesn't have a junior committee department, and uhm, if someone dropped a dime on him....

The UN delegates dining room is indeed magnificent, it is also easy to get access to it and I'll be having a meal there tomorrow. In the coming months, I'll also be organizing an event there, tickets won't even be half that amount, and promise to post an invite on gawker so everyone can exaggerate themselves in poorly written emails to invite friends.

But still, isn't it nice of him to mention trafficking in his description of an event full of celebrities?

His devotion to the cause (of celebrity, ego, shallowness) is so rare to see in young people these days. He indeed represents the next generation of influential young people.

btw: next generation of influential young people? does he mean people his age? aren't they young now? or does he mean the ones younger than his generation? does he mean they aren't influential yet? if they aren't influential yet, how does he know they are next? maybe some other generation will cut in ahead of them?
fileunder at 06:21 PM on 09/04/07
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NATO's so gay.
NewMrsAstor at 06:30 PM on 09/04/07
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Hey can I return the 2 illegals I hired to trompe l'oiel my bathroom to this event? They totally went Tuscan when I specifically said French Empire! Isn't this something Kristian and his UN friends can help me out on? Hello? Hello??
hughman at 07:28 PM on 09/04/07
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"I am writing on behalf of... the United People of Beneton."
TVAddendum at 07:38 PM on 09/04/07
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(UNODC)You Know Dick.
DorothyMantooth at 07:40 PM on 09/04/07
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@Clarence Rosario: Ohmagah! The addition of the All Tom Jones! All The Time! soundtrack just made this the Must See Movie Of The Summer for me!

So, uh... Wanna come crash the U.N. with me?
Clarence Rosario at 08:16 PM on 09/04/07
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@DorothyMantooth: You're on: You steal the cement truck, I'll drive.
valet_of_the_dolls at 09:01 PM on 09/04/07
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@Aatom: Well that's just silly. Use his head instead.
mr hotpants at 09:10 PM on 09/04/07
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Hey look everybody, its Grimace's gay lover!!
Pope John Peeps II at 10:17 PM on 09/04/07
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Wow. Eve Ensler? How does she have time to hit the town when she's sooooo busy WRITING NEW PLAy- oh.. RIGHT.
KarenUhOh at 08:33 AM on 09/05/07
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Think of the blisters he's going to get making all those life-size cardboard cutouts of the celebrity guests.
MsMuffinMcGuffin at 08:34 AM on 09/05/07
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@hughman: Bingo. Exactly.
josh speed at 09:29 AM on 09/05/07
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You guys should get a fact-checker: Mr. Laliberte is actually the new UN ambassador from Douche-takistan.
depardoo at 09:50 AM on 09/05/07
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Grand Douchie of Fuxembourg
TawnyFord at 09:56 AM on 09/05/07
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Douchebai?
TawnyFord at 09:57 AM on 09/05/07
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Djidoucheti?
TawnyFord at 09:58 AM on 09/05/07
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United Arab Effeminates?
Creepmouse at 10:52 AM on 09/05/07
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How long until the "Doucheland Uber Alles" t-shirt?
sessionseven at 12:25 PM on 09/05/07
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I went to junior high with Mr. Laliberte. He always claimed he wanted to be "a diplomat." I suppose he's finally living the dream...
josh speed at 02:20 PM on 09/05/07
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@Creepmouse: That is *funny*!!!