Gawker

Guess that's one photo he won't have to write sh*t all over.

I heard that he gave birth on the treadmill and that the child looked and smelled just like him!!!!1!111!!

FIRST!?!??!!
LOL

All that happened is that his blog fell out of his pants.

it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

Who hasn't?

At least he might have lost some weight.

Celebrity Shit Club!

Someone needs to drug test that guy for Alli.

Shiteous!

It's not gossip until you draw that on his pic for us. Oh yeah..

First BITCHES!!!!

it's what an asshole does best

I heard it happened to Gummi Bear. They just mistook him for Perez Hilton.

god, I hope this is true. Early Xmas!

Pooped "himself" as in self replicated, mitosis-like?

@rod: nice, I added some too for effect

PEREZ *IS* THE RECORD!

Well, you know, the treadmill is kinda rough when you set it to 3.4 mph. Fucking fatass.

He had the most insanely poorly-written and utterly pointless essay about his new dog in the Sunday Times (UK) yesterday - I cringed for about ten minutes after reading it.

CRAPTASTIC!!11!!!!!!!!!

FIRST BEEYOTCHES!!LOLZ!!

And by "reading" I mean "mining for any information that could be made fun of on Gawker" - however it was too banal even for that.

@BrianVan: ?!?!?!?!?!

First!!!!!

To poop myself while working out.

Tale as old as time.

@MattGaymon: HA!

I have no problem with this.

He's so full of it I'm sure it leaks out all of the time.

Fitting.

He cloned himself?

I call bullshit.

I have a friend who, though no Perez Hilton, besoiled his trousers on a bus in the Mongolian hinterlands (preceeding phrase may be redundant). True story.

I don't know what to say. Too many things too say, a blockage if you will. Now if only Perez had had one, we wouldn't be reading this.

@Sarcastro: Mongolian Worm Rumba... a.k.a the squitters, caused by rancid yak butter that's lurchede beyond mere rancidity into toxicity,

Then he said Nooooooo they be stealin' my bucket!

My husband's uncle misjudged his bathroom endurance while driving his overnight route for a major shipping company, who fortunately wear brown pants.

He stopped and rinsed them out in a puddle on the side of the road. Seeing as how he had three hours to his stop, and he lives in a hot, dry clime, he hung them from the antenna and proceeded on his route. Sadly, the pants blew off the antenna.

The state highway patrol was not amused at the vision of a 50-ish man, still fit, wearing wet, stained BVD's and crawling around in the desert in the dark looking for his pants. The family, however, was.

True story, swear to God.

@Wrath of Farrakhan: Ha! I love that pic. The eyes are what do it.

@Bigggnasty: LOL... love the Margaret Cho shout-out

@Scooter34: Hilarious. I hope that story appears in Everybody Poops: The Director's Cut

Well, what else would you expect to come out of a shitbag?

@judithbutler: He also crapped himself in a beer store after pierogies and ice cream. Methinks he's a bit lactose intolerant.

@elijahpollack: Exactly. Plus, any comment that can check lolcats and elijahpollack is alright in my book.

Oh man that was real? I thought I was watching an early John Waters movie.

@MattGaymon: @Scooter34:
...or the next "What Can Brown Do For You" ad.

I know reproduction can be ugly, but it's not THAT ugly.

@Scooter34: I think you have a typo there - didn't you mean "a major shitting compan"...
oh. wait. i gets it. sry.

Fortunately for Perez, he can regurgitate it ...

This proves what I've long suspected: Perez Hilton is a fisting bottom.

@Trampoline: I wish I hadn't already wasted my one socially acceptable 2 girls 1 cup reference on that lolcat post last week.

Do you think he will put it on YouTube - like all the other shit he puts of himself on there?

This is incredible.

He's on Celebrity Fit Club? It's hard to believe that someone who makes it their living to draw dicks on photos would be such a fat piece of sh*t.

He is a filthy one.

@Ace in the Hole: visit the all new 2fatassqueens1cup.com

A Perez and Paris Hilton Christmas Carol...

On the first day of Christmas my Hilton gave to me;
Two weeks in Jail,
A hip-hop rhyme that fails,
A pink hair-do
Some dye for puppy too,
Three "That's Hots",
A gorge of tater tots,
Four DUI's,
A lot of TMZ spies,
Videotaped sex,
A bottle of Valtrex,
Two stupid movies,
A gaggle of male groupies,
(I really liked "The Stars are Blind", fuck you.
What's wrong with a little...poo-poo?)
Six drunken elephants,
AND A MAN WHO SHAT HIS PANTS!!

Everytime I see people eating those "Light" Olean-based products, I imagine this happening. A small smile forms on my lips.

The true definition of "Shiteous."

@Bigggnasty: In his case, a dozen or so hot-dogs plummeting uncontrollably out of a hangerbay would be more accurate.

@Wrath of Farrakhan: Oh, thank you!

@elijahpollack: What special product is Perez in need of?

So that there’s no question, we’re only posting this because Perez Hilton is much richer and more famous than us. WE HEAR: that while taping the upcoming season of Celebrity Fit Club, megalomaniacal blogger Perez Hilton pooped himself on a treadmill.

Thank you thank you -- finally, it's over. He may earn more for doing less and not being funny -- but aha -- he shitteth himself -- bet they don't air that though...

@elijahpollack: @AndSheSaid: Let me rephrase that; in Jeopardy-style:
What is a special product that Perez is in need of?

@AndSheSaid: Ha. Yes. A bucket would do the trick, but there are more sanitary solutions. Diapers namely.