Gawker: first responders

Are You Buying An iPhone?

Choire — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 09:20:46 EDT

So it's shiny. It's new. It turns sideways or something! But also you can only send 200 texts a month, which is patently ABSURD, and it doesn't have instant messenger. So it is essentially a tiny, pretty Mac brick that takes phone calls. TAN and Blakeley asked the peoples that you meet on the street so that the coolhunters can work from home today.

Bloomberg For President

abalk — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:50:04 EDT

The pundits have had their say on whether or not Mike Bloomberg can be elected president. Now it's time to see what real New Yorkers think about the whole thing. The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley canvass the voters.

Previously: Gynecomastia

Gynecomastia

abalk — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 15:30:11 EDT

This week The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley canvas the area to see what New Yorkers really think about the greatest plague of the age: man boobs.

Previously: Paris Hilton's Early Release

Paris Hilton's Early Release

abalk — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 12:56:23 EDT

Yesterday, hotel heiress and vehicular freestylist Paris Hilton was released from prison after only three days due to an undisclosed medical condition. What does this say about the legal system in our society? The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley stepped outside to survey the surprisingly well-informed citizenry of Manhattan.

Previously: Lindsay Lohan: The Coke, The Crash, The Rehab, The Response

Lindsay Lohan: The Coke, The Crash, The Rehab, The Response

abalk — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 11:58:50 EDT

Lindsay Lohan has made a little news lately, what with all the cocaine-having and out-passing and car-crashing and rehab-entering. How do New Yorkers feel about the highly-publicized struggles of one of Long Island's most famous citizens? We stuck The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley out front of the office and wouldn't let them back in until they found out.

Previously: Memorial Day

Memorial Day

balk — Fri, 25 May 2007 11:35:46 EDT

In this holiday edition of First Responders, our man on the street segment, The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley find out how New Yorkers are planning to spend their Memorial Day weekends. Except TAN never showed—you know how black people are—so Blakeley was forced to fend for himself. The result? What may very well be the best episode yet!

Previously: Jerry Falwell: Still Dead

Jerry Falwell: Still Dead

abalk2 — Fri, 18 May 2007 13:57:46 EDT

This week saw the passing of Jerry Falwell, preacher, teacher, and moral majoritarian. How did New Yorkers react to the loss? The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley hit the street to hear the good word.

Previously: Free Paris Hilton. Or Don't, Who Cares?

Free Paris Hilton. Or Don't, Who Cares?

abalk2 — Fri, 11 May 2007 13:20:43 EDT

Yesterday, a sad and staged publicity event took place outside our office. The "protest," aimed at "freeing" Paris Hilton, drew shockingly few spectators. Most of them, in fact, were press, including such luminaries as the Sun's Lenore Skenazy and the Post's Mark Bulliet. But what did average New Yorkers think about the whole thing? Since The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley only work within 50 feet of the office, they came out to ask the hard questions.

Previously: Ya Hear About This Spider-Man Movie?

Ya Hear About This Spider-Man Movie?

abalk2 — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:28:13 EDT

Today, with little fanfare, Columbia Pictures releases the emotionally restrained art house film Spider-Man 3. ("The actors are unconscious. The writing is barely legible," raved Rex Reed.) We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to see if the public is super-stoked for the cinema this weekend.

Previously: New York City Hates Rosie O'Donnell

New York City Hates Rosie O'Donnell

abalk2 — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:19:12 EDT

Rosie O'Donnell is leaving 'The View'. What does this mean to the man, and wo-man, on the street? We dispatched The Assimilated Negro and Julia Allison's Personal Director of Photography to find out.

Previously: Virginia Tech

First Responders: Virginia Tech

Choire — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 13:21:06 EDT

The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley take to "the street" to get that all-important New York City random-person viewpoint on violence in high schools, fear of Asian Americans, and exactly what's wrong with America.

Previously: First Responders: Don Imus

First Responders: Don Imus

abalk2 — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:00:51 EDT

The great and the good have all spoken on the Imus affair; what of the common man? How does he or she feel about the aging radio personality's unfortunate remarks? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to investigate.

Previously: New York Auto Show

First Responders: New York Auto Show

abalk2 — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 14:01:07 EDT

If you've read Jalopnik—or seen the endless stream of posts they send over our way, some of them tangentially related to New York—you'll know that this is the week of the annual New York Auto Show. But what do New Yorkers know about cars? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to investigate.

Previously: Whole Foods

First Responders: Whole Foods

abalk2 — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 16:55:31 EDT

You may or may not have heard—there's been so little coverage of it—but a new Whole Foods opened at Houston and Bowery this morning. What sort of person shops there, or sulks angrily outside? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley to investigate.

Previously: Bad Bosses

First Responders: Bad Bosses

abalk2 — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 15:30:17 EDT

We've spent the last few weeks sharing your stories of unpleasant employers. But what of the man and woman on the street? Surely they have equally tragic tales to share. We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley onto the streets of New York to find out.

Previously: St. Patrick's Day

First Responders: St. Patrick's Day

abalk2 — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 14:00:11 EDT

As St. Patrick's Day rapidly approaches, Irish folks everywhere are getting an early start on wife-beating and gay-bashing. But is everyone else planning to celebrate? We sent The Assimilated Negro and Richard Blakeley out into the wide world to investigate.

Previously: The 'Village Voice'

First Responders: The 'Village Voice'

abalk2 — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 13:35:34 EST

Sure, the Voice has been in the news quite a bit over the last week, but does that resonate with the public at large? We dispatched The Assimilated Negro and Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley to take the pulse of the Voice's alleged audience.

Earlier: The Oscars

First Responders: The Oscars

abalk2 — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 15:15:56 EST

As part of our deeply-held belief that the wisdom of crowds is always more impressive than the analysis of experts, we sent The Assimilated Negro and Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley about town to solicit your opinions on Sunday's Academy Awards ceremony. These are your stories.

Earlier: Bald Britney

First Responders: Bald Britney

abalk2 — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 13:58:48 EST

When news breaks all sorts of "professionals" with "qualifications" show up on television, offering their "expert analysis." But we've often found that the man or woman on the street is just as wise as these self-appointed pundits. In order to get to the bottom of the recent events concerning Britney Spears, we sent The Assimilated Negro and Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley out to the gritty streets of SoHo to solicit your opinions. These are your stories.