Gawker

Ooooh!

If only I were not straight.

I love whore's oeuvres

I prefer "the whore's divorce."

@atipofthehat: Or is that "ovaries"?

@sexbot: Rampant!

@atipofthehat: He just wants to see the whores' oeuvres before he makes his final cut

shit in the bathroom stalls is ok here too!

The problem is, the fucking French. . .the word doesn't sound anything like it's spelled.

So from now on can we just call it those thingys on crackers you get when you poop?

Matt Titus? Wasn't he just in the Times wedding section a week ago? They talk about how he had experienced a major epiphany in his dealings with women when he got into a huge motorcycle accident while racing to meet his girlfriend as his wife waited at home. Good luck to Wife #2!

Missed the cut-off by a lousy six months!

Oh well. I'm sure not just any Joe Mode or John Runway would get picked, anyway.

Maybe Norman Mailer mistook Truman Capote for a hors d'oeuvre that time he tasted him and found him tart.

I would have thought Truman would be more on the "tangy" or "zesty" side--with a touch of Dill!*

*To Kill a Mockingbird bonus!

@Choire: can you start filing Sex and the City posts under the "Gay TV for ladies for gays!" tag pls?

Whores d'jour?

oh god. he has a "matt's musts" list for ladies that lists where we should go for cosmetic surgery, eyebrow waxing, etc. oh! and what perfume we should wear by season! i spy with my little eye a oft-rejected dude with a teeny weeny peeny.

Thinking people say "light refreshments." Strictly speaking, canapes and finger foods are not hors d'oeuvres unless they are served prior to a meal ("outside the work").

Of course, a thinking person would probably avoide sending out so ambiguous an invitation in the first place. Are people interested in attending this event supposed to email a "confiration" or simply "show up?"

@atipofthehat: @sexbot:

My last mixer was more like "whores devour." Buffet was gone in a jiffy.

@LolCait: You're 51?

Well, if it's reality TV, you know it's got to be demeaning and lifeforce-sucking...

Wait, what's happening? I don't know how to parse this thing. Is he "interviewing prospective dates for his client"? Sorry to be all grammer-focused, but as an attempt at communication this fails miserably.

To be clear, I am not the client.

@RufusV2: No, I meant that my sexual reassignment surgery is six long months away.

@LolCait: That didn't make any sense, Cait. Sober up.

@La Cieca: I don't say nuttin. I make straight for those little pigs-in-a-blanket, shove everyone aside, grab the tray, and take it off somewheres quiet for a good munchin'.

Hors d'œuvre is just one of those things you learn to spell when you're a low level copywriter with who has to do all the invitation copy.

@LolCait: Why can't Gawker raffle you off?

Why, it would be a great story!

Whoresgalore

it was one of those office deals where coworkers try to accommodate the gay guy to not make him not feel like an outsider ... and so we all end up at a gay bar ... and no gay guys hit on me ... so should I be offended or flattered?

That reminds me of the time I paid lots of money to have my marriage announced and they wrote my name down as Catnip Gingernut Nay Pillsbury.

@momo: oh, honey, we know you're not that particular.

I can't wait for this! I am totally going to d'oevour those hors d'oeuvres!

i'm not in my joe mode today.

This is part of the overall toilet theme of the day also, right?