Gawker
The article in the Times today about "inappropriate yoga guys," as immortalized in one of the funniest YouTube videos we've ever seen (seriously, watch it and see if you don't spit out your coffee when he does that Ujjayi breath), rips off all our blinders and reveals the shocking seamy underbelly of the yoga world. Just kidding, nothing in it will particularly shock any lady who has ever a) taken a yoga class that wasn't women's or prenatal or b) familiarized herself with the work of Gawker bete noire Eric Schaeffer, who prowls gyms looking for spandex-clad ladies at their most vulnerable. But we wonder if even he has pulled some of the heinous stunts described in this article.
Other men are even bolder. Stephanie King, 40, a jewelry designer who practices yoga five times a week in Los Angeles, said she has had cringe-worthy encounters during her 20 years of practice. In one instance, a fellow regular Ms. King had met in passing approached her after a power yoga class and asked if she had enjoyed her practice. She had. Then, apropos of nothing, he asked if she wanted to be his lover.Dude was probably like, Namaste for your honesty.Ms. King calmly told the man she would think about it. After a particularly intense practice, it can take a moment to regroup and get your social bearings. But once at her car, she called him and said, "I just want to let you know that I'm going to pass on being your lover."
Between Poses, A Barrage Of Pick Up Lines [NYT]
Comments
Same fucking thing happened to me. Guy was all "Come, let's be lovers together" and then he put on his pith helmet, hopped onto his autogyro, and said he'd write me from the diamond fields of "darkest Africa." I really should stop going to yoga in 1898.
Do not get me started on how much "brain" I see in yoga class. ew. UNDERWEAR - know it , love it guys.
Be my lover, LOLcait.
If she knew him well enough to have his phone number, that "lover" comment might not really have have been inspired by a spontaneous burst of downward-dog-inspired lust.
I'll promise to never go to a Yoga class if you women get the fuck out of my weight room.
I would like to politely decline your offer of non-consensual intercourse. Thanks and no hard feelings.
"Wow, this is the best toga party ever," said the hearing-impaired frat dude.
@Mediahohoho: Gold.
doesn't josh go to yoga? and doesn't a certain lusted-after nubile, young gawker editor also go to yoga?
hmmmmm...
@Mediahohoho:
While I won't get the fuck out of your weight room, that was pure gold.
It's always the Schaeffer types who moan and sigh loudly during the long poses and then want to be pair up with you during the partner exercises and put their sweaty hands on your inner thighs. Which is why I always go to the bathroom during that part of a class.
And ditto on the ball-age, Kingblah. Do not want.
@kingblah: Dammit you beat me to it!
@karion: Hey, if you let me work in on an unduplicated bench or machine instead rolling your eyes, pouting and saying, "but I only have fourteen more sets to do," when I ask politely, hey, you're very welcome.
This is why I don't do yoga at all, and instead just hang out at home smoking cigarettes, eating pizza and Hostess Cupcakes and watching Miami Vice reruns on DVD.
Because I hate exercising.
@Mediahohoho: <---is full of "hey" today.
@Mediahohoho:
You can have most of the machines and I promise to wipe everything down. Just don't offer to spot me or correct my form and we're cool like Fonzie.
@karion: Deal. But just to clarify, my problem with women in weight rooms isn't that they won't let me have machines, it's that they don't know what "work in with" means. But come to think of it, that's most people under 30. It's an old school thing, the loss of which makes it very frustrating to work out these days.
That said, yes, I imagine it's way annoying to have someone offering to correct one's form. And I always figure if anyone needs spotting, they'll ask.
@Mediahohoho:
Didn't you just get married? Why are you still working out?
Who need's Yoga when you can prowl for divorcees near the Lean Cuisine section at Food Emporium ?
@IBentMyWookie: Yes, I just got married. But that doesn't mean I don't still have goals. For instance, I hope to one day look down and see my genitals without a mirror again.
why does that guy look like Constantine from American Idol? and why do I even know that?
Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but it always made me uncomfortable that yoga is actually intended to have a deeper purpose than making yuppies fuckable. It just feels like going to church to learn how to sing then using that gospel trained voice to melisma out about how you wanna suck the devil's dick. . . Connotations aren't just for prison walls!
@collegecallgirl: Well, you wouldn't make such a request without giving them your number, right? You're not going to wait until the next class to get your peaceful warrior on.
@Mediahohoho:
If your cock is capable of holding a mirror, the new missus is a lucky woman.
I had to stop going to hot yoga because the men so creeped me out. All the loud breathing and the stupid grunting and the silly chanting but in speedos as sweat poured down their hairy, pasty-white bodies -- no fucking thank you. I'll stick to spin class.
PS. Also? That douche Mark Morford? Teaches yoga. A friend of mine, once smitten with MM, took a class of his and was promptly turned off FOR LIFE.
@Mediahohoho:
Right the fuck on, sir. Right the fuck on. Get your neoprene coated 2.5 lb weights off the floor, take all those machines away that work muscles I don't want to know the name of, and quit calling me "Pee Wee."
I love watching men do yoga, especially when they don't strap it down.
@Trixie from Toronto:
For me, it was the funk. I could not get my zen or balance on with the funk that emanates from each and every hot yoga class.
@Mediahohoho: While I generally subscribe to the limited contact rule at the gym (minimal conversation, eye contact, etc.), I think I would fake some 'roid rage if some self-absorbed shit didn't let me work in. Either my gym has weeded them out, or I work out at the right times.
@Mediahohoho: I bet you're the sweaty guy that always asks to get in on my sets. That shit really rocks my boat, babe.
@IBentMyWookie: And whistling "Dixie," but that's a whole nother thread.
Jesus, do I need a vacation.
So how exactly does one go about getting a date? Are you suggesting there's a way to do it and retain your pride? Because THIS IS NEWS I DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
@karion: You live a charmed life. I live in Cobble Hill. 'Nuff said.
On an unrelated note, there's always this one woman at my gym that spends all her time lounging around naked in the changeroom. She gets on my nerves more then any lurker/old gym perv.
@pinch_vintage:
I know what you mean, and therefore do Pilates.
In addition to, and possibly worse than, the smelly types, there is often at least one farter, who probably thinks it's just a natural, spiritual release. Fucking vinyasty!
@tammyfey: "Vinyasty?" is that like Iyangawful?
@Mediahohoho: are you my neighbor? Just promise that you're not on a laptop at the Tea Lounge.
@Pope John Peeps II: Time it to walk out with her, strike up a conversation and announce that you're grabbing a coffee (whatever, yoga weirdos, "tea".) See if she looks interested and once you're at a neutral third location, then you can ask her out. That'll be $500 for dating coaching.
@Women: I have all the patience in the world. See you next week.
Also, your downward dog is lazy. You're arching your back too much. Call me.
oooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... are you gonna suck it?
@NobodyLikesMe: We live nearby each other I guess. But no, I'm not at tea lounge. I am chained to my desk at the ministry of information.
@sheistolerable: HA. So at what point in the first date to I tell her about my goiter? And my desire for marriage within the next 4 weeks? And my 2 pet snakes?
P.S. When should I neg her? Should I neg her often? Am I negging her now?
@Smitros: I just eat pie and drink lattes.
@sheistolerable: Don't forget "the neg," from our friend Mystery! I am about nothing as much as I am about the cross-pollenation of threads!
What would a "neg" be in this context?
Wait a minute. My wife goes to yoga three times a week. She told me men never go to yoga class. You don't suppose she was lying to me, do you?
@notan-ism-ist: I guess a "neg" would be asking to parner up for an exercise and then farting. See: you draw them in and then push them away. It confuses women. And weakens them. Readying them for the kill. Also, now they can recognize your scent. Everyone says that scent is a big part of attraction.
@shesaidwhat: Oh, I'm definitely trying that next time! I had also thought of "You call that a goddess pose?!"
@Pope John Peeps II: Make sure you've changed out of your White Goodman spandex suit before you ask her out.
@MisterHippity:
Clearly, your wife's a whore.