This week really was the eternal LOL.

Don't worry, Grandmoffbastard. 'Toos is on the case.

Yes, great week all around, people. There is some truly legitimate short-burst writing talent among us all.

omg no gold star for R. O. Butler? you guys really are viputer-- vipt-- viter--

MEAN.

Lolcait's Chekhovian rif on the Pines Party still has me tingling - or maybe it's just the cialis.

I will be "down" the cape next week and will be resisting the urge to comment via my phone from the Boatslip. Good luck to you all.

Commenters:

At our next staff meeting I'll be passing around a thank you card to Robert Olen Butler. I would appreciate it if everyone could sign it. He truly made this week special; it's the least we can do for him. Especially in his time of need. Well, according to him he's fine, but, you know. . .

Hearts and Rainbows,

Hookerface Anonymous

@mathnet: Robbed again! I'm iPatting you on the back vigorously, though.

@LolCait: You're really too e-good to me.

I'm glad to see Sara's comment up there. That one was my favorite of the week.

What, nothing about Hole Day? My bladder gets a little panicky just remembering that thread (I nearly peed myself, really).

The side effect of this super awesome week (I resigned, yay!) is that I felt like I've been trying to catch up to a Dan Haren fastball all week. Exercise in futility. Completely out of my league, y'all, but I love ya for it.

Sorry for the sports analogy. Straight guy, whaddaya gonna do?

@mathnet: He should have consulted her a week ago. All you have to do is whisper the message into your kitty's ear, and the 'Toos will receive it.

Damn Emily wasn't kidding about that Court and Spark thing.

I fear for the mental health of all our significant others, who will now be forever shadowed in our group Gold Star glory.

Oh, um, Hookerface, about that staff meeting: I have to skip for an appointment. Turns out I may've picked up something at, um . . . jury duty.

Aah yes. When I laugh, I cry. When I cry, I laugh. Truly I am a gordian knot of emotions. When I ejaculate, I crave toast. When I crave toast, I kill kittens. When I kill kittens, I laugh and cry and crave toast and ejaculate. It's all the same release.

(Ghostwritten by Courteny-Thorne-Smith-Melrose)

Is this your way of saying that YOU are the Person of the Year? errrr I mean Gold Star commenter?
@Pope John Peeps II: I am glad there is somebody else around here who hates cats. And likes toast!

Def. on Lolcait, I have a commenter crush.

Not since the whole Braunstein-on-the-run fiasco have I truly felt like I'm part of something bigger.

I think I'm going to bask in the communal glow for a few minutes longer (with special thanks to Bob Butler). Then I'm going to go fuck a parrot right in its hidden genitals.

Laughing and crying, you know, it's the same release.

Damn sister, break up that bad? I feel ya. I'd say focus on shit like being a free man in Paris rather than taking the batshit approach (wondering why those doubledecker busses have no driver on the top, et al).

@ZiggyStardust: If you invest more work on your comments than on your paying work, I think Julia Allison would greenlight a "workplace" relationship. Smack it!

@nojo:

Ok, I just spit water all over the keyboard. But I needed that after today. Thanks for the laugh.

@ZiggyStardust: yeah when can we get a Lolcait rooftop photo sesh?

i guess i was more prolific than usual this week, but that's not the only reason i think it was extra rad.

@Catastro-Nom: Thanks, C-N. I think we all worked really hard this week, and you know what that means...DONUTS AT THE NEXT TEAM BUILDING RETREAT!!!

Wait a minute. Didn't Naomi Watts parturate last week?

Laughing and crying, you know, it's the same release.

I'm weepingly grateful.

Egads, this weekly "we are amusing, aren't we?" masturbation roundup is getting to be too much. Take it over to Deadspin, will ya?

@Nately: Is this a breakup? That's it...I'm writing a letter to our colleagues, acquaintances, and the population at large.

I love these multiple-commenter Gold Stars. There was one last week, too. It makes me understand the beauty and immensity of Moonie wedding ceremonies.

You guys were all just soooo on fire this week I felt like I'm just livin' on nerves and feelings with a weak and a lazy mind and coming to your party fumbling deaf dumb and blind.

Seriously. Best week EVER.

@Pope John Peeps II: Thanks - I must now get rid of my kitten and give up toast, unless I could interest you in some toasted kitten?

You could complete me -- I complete you. (Sorry couldn't resist!)

If I comment now for the first time this week, can I mooch some of the back-patting?

hortense -- that truly was divine

@Pope John Peeps II: that was some great short-burst writing.

@emily: Hey hon--
You know that shittily-drawn faux New Yorker cartoon I sent in? Yeah well, [*cough*] maybe you could toss it in the garbage?

Thanks for the GSM, too! I'm not worthy...

@Gigi: Best. Bette. Midler. Reference. Ever. In fact, for Gawker, ONLY oblique Bette Midler reference I can remember, but still...

@MadameEducatrix: If you're going to send it to your students, make sure it's written in a way they'll understand: "They're no words to describe what happened, but I can only think it must of been b/c of my Gold Star".

@ShanghaiLil: It's actually a Joni Mitchell reference. (Though I won't argue with you if you say that The Divine Miss M covered Joni's song. A lot of Joni's work is better known through it's covers by other artists.)

That said: Best. Joni. Mitchell. Reference. Ever. Thank you Gigi, and Gawker. (and kudos to Michaelangelo, from whose diaries Joni alludes to with the "laughing and crying/you know it's the same release" line. Joni being an accomplished painter herself, that's not too surprising a refe---fuck. I just got all pedantic and long-winded. Sorry.)

GSM Hysterian here: Hortense, yours is, I believe, the first comment that ever won TWICE (last week, too!!). Emily must sleep with that one under her pillow.

And Sara, yours was golden from the word "send."

Now, can the Cult top itself?