• Why are Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong parading their PDAs around the town's hotspots? Although! Page Six says they were dining at Waverly Inn together on Tuesday—but the photographic evidence says that Ashley was actually dining with Sting, Slash and Stephen Fry. No Lance shows up in the paparazzi photos. [Page Six, Image: Splash Photos]
  
• Alleged oil heir Brandon Davis is in town; please avoid the greasy wingnut on your travels. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Heather Mills owes $3 million in legal bills so far in her endless divorce from Paul McCartney and says they're going to kill her just like they killed Princess Di. Oh sugar no! Also she is tired of being called a whore and a gold digger. Well, ya gotta spend money to make money! (Um, whore!) [Page Six, Gatecrasher]

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