At this rate, she'll be fucking Conrad Black in the recreation yard in two months.

Poor Lindsay. That fucking Herbie. He's been out of control ever since "Herbie Goes Bananas" tanked.

Man, those guys at the Filipino prison can do ANYthing!

In frame 367 Beyonce's neck jerks back and to the left. By frame 372 she in clutching her head and crumbling forward - all consistent with single assailant theory.

finally gravity catches up with her.

i mean she wears at least, what, 35 lbs. of water buffalo weave, right?

@ellagood: She couldn't stop the momentum of that stuff whipping forward.

That was pretty classic, but the best piece of black pop meltdown remains this: [www.youtube.com] It must be shared with a discerning public.

@earlytimezone: Well, the link isn't working for some reason, but type "james brown and prince" into youtube and you'll see.

It was destiny, child.

@earlytimezone: Wow! That's the black version of Ashlee Simpson's jig except he took his clothes off and loved himself up on stage.

Best comment on that video: "my baby BEYONCE i love u so much!! and you were so strong and u got up very fast!! good job!! keep doinq it big and i hope our not hurt!! ii love u!! take care && keep doinq it biq!! love u," by DATKiDFAZAD.

Honorary gold star of the day? Anyone? ... Anyone?

@maevemealone: My favorite part is when he crouches real low and gets ready for an insane Prince solo, but one sour chord clangs out and falls flat to the stage. And his unearthly screech sounding all drugged up.

@earlytimezone: "black pop" - really? what year is it??

@Pangloss: my favorite is: "the part during /before her fall, isnt sung.. it never is, never has been at any of her many ring the alarm live performances.. only beyonce fans will know this.. beyonce does not sing her choruses, she sings her verses and then sings over playback/backing singers singing chorus--which are constant beatlines, with more elaborate runs and notes...if anyone knew anything about live performances/music today, they would know that they are made up of many aspects..video, computerised playback and live bands, and singers all coming together in sync to give a brilliant performance."

well thank you, professor beyonce!!

Please. Beyonce stole that move from Sid Vicious.

@the_mayoress: You're reading more into that than I meant. I could have said "crap music" but I really like Prince.

@KarenUhOh: Rather, Courtney Love, no?

@Koala325: I don't think she was ready for that jelly.

This version is much better

[www.youtube.com]

@KarenUhOh: Wait until you see her Darby Crash.

She knows we are going to dis her on the internet--because our mamas didn't teach us better than that.

WAIT. Socialites can't be from New Jersey. That's the biggest fucking oxymoron I've ever heard.

@earlytimezone: that was pretty awesome. (you just have to take the period off the end of the url to get it to work.)

I hope that hip isn't irreplaceable.

@winowino: That's why this one hangs out with a "movie star" from Long Island. I guess you can take the girl out of the low-class burbs, etc., eh? (Pretty soon, with the momentum they're rocking, they'll be duetting in the corner next to Hudson News at Penn Station. THAT I'd pay to see, unlike Georgia Rule.)

I used to work for Tyra's new boyfriend. Douchebag insisted his coffee be brewed with Evian. I'm sure they will be happy together.

I actually feel bad for Lindsay Lohan. She's basically like every junkie on the streets, except she doesn't have to turn tricks for her coke money.