• Another way to tell Mary-Kate Olsen apart from Ashlee: she looks way more like a gremlin whilst she's biting a stripper's calf. [WWTDD via Fleshbot]
  
• Trump is currently mulling Playboy's offer to feature Miss USA Tara Conner upon her emergence from rehab: "If Trump allowed her to do it, it would have to be in good taste." [NYPost]
  
• Britney Spears spotted sucking face with sport-o Matt Leinart, pantyfree again. [Deadspin]
  
• Shanna Moakler is now dating Jenna Jameson's pornstar ex-husband, who may or may not know that Jenna and Shanna are actually two entirely different plastic boobsticks. [TMZ]
  
• Kevin Federline booty-texted Lindsay Lohan, who isn't that hard up. Yet. [UsWeekly]
  
• Paris Hilton sleeps with a monkey. [Scoop]
  

Contact information for this author is not available.