Gawker
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6,813
28
By PareeneComment by DahlELama: I only have two questions left about the whole thing before I complete ignore any- and everything written about his... 17 Responses | Other threads
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badvertising
Yelp Sorry About Ruining Anti-Rape Message
Whoops: Yelp signed up "SF Women Against Rape" as a sponsor of its email newsletter, then ran their ad under an insinuating headline about bicycles that read, "Put the Fun Between Your Legs." Cue the outrage! More »
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By Ryan TateComment by lawnsprinkler: I don't get what there is to be offended about. Is sexual innuendo supposed to be like being raped... 2 Responses | Other threads
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pirate wars
Violent Pirate Pilot Silent, Save for Raves of Hater Paper
Abduwali Abdukhadir Muse, the surviving teenage Somali pirate, was back in court yesterday, making the best of his unplanned NYC visit. So far his main contribution has been to stimulate New York Post headline writers: More »
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Comment by americanaquariumdrinker: is it me or is he about to say "I'm RICH BITCH!" 2 Responses | Other threads
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908
Comment by Aaron Altman: "I bet it was Decker," said Black. "I bet it was Black!" said Decker. 14 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
"STAB DAD NABBED IN DRAG." That's like an entire section of the Post's rhyming dictionary.
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gotcha journalismism
CNN Confuses Similar-Looking Bush, Obama
It's OK, CNN. We all have our suspicions about which world leaders conspired to launch this "spontaneous" swine-flu panic. But we'd pair Bush with someone from PRI. At least you "fixed" the "error" quickly.
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By Ryan TateComment by jasonelias: I'm more upset about seeing Calderone back in action. I thought Sonny Crockett killed him. 4 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
Post Suddenly Soft on Republican Defectors
Rupert Murdoch's last biographer thinks his young wife is turning him soft and liberal. Maybe so: The mogul's pet tabloid went easy on party-switching Sen. Arlen Specter today, compared with Jim Jeffords in 2001. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by not2techy: Maybe Murdoch's wife has something to do with it, but I'm more inclined to think he's trimming his sails because... 1 Responses | Other threads
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pirate wars
Caterwauling Marauder Led to Slaughter: Keening Corsair Is Tabloid Fodder
Somali teen pirate sensation Abduwali Abdukhadir Muse (today's spelling!) went to court yesterday, and guess what, he cried. Will this give the NY Post the chance to use the term "Priva-Tears?" Let's find out! More »
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Comment by FormerEnglishMajor: Hamilton, I have no idea why you are showing so much sympathy for this guy. Can you explain how you, who... 5 Responses | Other threads
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By Ryan TateComment by pepelicious: It's not the stories you report on the Internet that killed you - it's the fucking commentary. For every great... 1 Responses | Other threads
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developing
Drudge Warns of Imaginary Killer Boner Spider
Drudge: "ORGANIC: World's Deadliest Spider Found in WHOLE FOODS Produce..." Story: two experts dispute both the identification of the spider and that spider's deadliness. Plus: More »
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By PareeneComment by RandomLunatic: When I was writing for a certain, shall we say, "pre-Zombie" blog now owned by a tabloid publisher, an otherwise... 2 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
Journalists Hard at Work
This headline from the Trentonian is about some traffic accident. Just go with it. It was nearly as clever as this item from the Guardian's music blog, screen-grabbed by an alert reader: More »
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Comment by MisterHippity: I screen-grabbed this headline from msnbc.com yesterday: 2 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
Maryland Police Have Way Too Much Time On Hands
Sorry, but this "quality of life" policing trend has really gotten out of hand. Talk about an invasion of privacy! [CBS/AP]
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By Ryan TateComment by belltolls: Crevasse? Crack? The next post will be connected to the economic abyss? I love word games. :) 4 Responses | Other threads
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journalismism
Dumbstruck Young Buck's Tough Luck: Dry Teat on Crime Beat
Lo: Remember the Good Old Days of journalism, when NYC precinct houses were full of dozens of grizzled, worldly reporters covering gritty city crime? Now it's just one 23 year-old from the Brooklyn Paper. More »
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Comment by SultanaEleusis: If they would print those headlines in big enough type, there would be no need for articles at all. 1 Responses | Other threads
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freakoutnomics
Fear 'The Swedish Model'
Oh no! Not the Swedish model! Look carefully at that terrifying blue and yellow Nordic Cross; it is our generation's hammer and sickle. More »
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By PareeneComment by BookishLookish: The food in Sweden is very good. Also, Pareene, you had the chance to show us some half-naked boys (which your... 11 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
New York Times Continues Important Bolivian Powder Coverage
Ye gods, that much "bounty" could power the New York Media for a month! (Sadly—we checked—the story's not by our friend Chuck Blow.)
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By PareeneComment by Smitros: The story's about lithium deposits under the salt flats. Still, there's a big need for lithium in the media world as... 2 Responses | Other threads
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era of responsibility
Reviews In: Obama Speech Kind of a Drag
Obama's inaugural address was "a philosophic statement of high moral purpose," said Reverend Eugene Rivers on MSNBC just now. Everyone agrees: it was serious and somber. More »
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By PareeneComment by Mediahohoho: He shoulda peppered that sucker up with a couple, "Drill, Baby, Drill" and "USA! USA! USA!" chants. See what happens... 7 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
New York Post Is Deadly Serious in Its War on Geese
Today's New York Post calls for death to all geese in New York City. Haha, we thought, until we remembered all the other funny Post front pages that got us into a war. More »
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Comment by BookishLookish: Aw, leave the geese alone, it was just a freak accident. Plane designers have to come up with something better. This... 14 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
Our Miracle on the Hudson Headline Winner
Commenter timeoutofmind wins our Hudson River plane crash headline competition. What a hero! Image by Steven Dressler. -
the gays
News Report on Gay Protests Alarmingly Accurate
I'm not sure I understand what the fuss is in this wire story about gays protesting same-sex marriage bans. Doesn't this happen every day?
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By Owen ThomasComment by Minsley Tortimer: this headline fits in nicely with the script I'm writing for 'unbalanced load', a porno about a mildly deranged laundromat... 10 Responses | Other threads
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drudge
Crazy Internet Person: World To Explode In Obama's First Term!
We had a feeling, when we saw this million-point headline at Drudge saying Iran will get a nuke during Obama's first term credited only to a mysterious "paper," that the "paper" referenced would be either the Moonie-owned Washington Times or the Murdoch-owned Times of London. More amusing: in order to stop the evil Iranians, the Times insists that Obama must engage in the direct diplomacy without preconditions that John McCain (and Hillary Clinton!) called so naive and foolish. A more reasonable assesment of the report from Brookings and the Council on Foreign Relations is here. [Times via Drudge]
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By PareeneComment by Weegee's bored: O fer god's sake I'm so tired of all this teeth-gnashing over Iranian nukes. Just throw some money at the... 5 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
Daily News Taking The Piss Out Of Ivanka?
At some point last night, the Daily News fed the Web address above into its RSS feed. The XML file appears to have been subsequently cleansed, but Google Reader still has the original address, attached to the much tamer headline, "Side Dish: Juliette Lewis isn't into 'Gossip'." Clicking it is a dead end, of course, but we're now way more intrigued by what the tabloid's gossip section didn't say than by anything it could have possibly printed about Jared Kushner's girlfriend. Maybe it's a clever bit of reverse psychology, hyping tomorrow's Rush & Molloy. Anyone care to clue us in?
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By Ryan TateComment by ouikant: It's probably less sanitary to pee in a sink than a toilet. Not the pee part, but the genitals-on-filthy-porcelain part. 4 Responses | Other threads
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drudge
Drudge Questions Obama Victory With Devious Question Mark
Poor sad Matt Drudge lost his influence this year, forever, and no one cares about him or takes him seriously anymore. This was his headline a couple minutes ago, until he lost the question mark. Still, the inference is there: this is an illegitimate win. Matt will now probably lead not the MSM but the crazier fringes of the opposition. Not so much the ones working to formulate a new, smarter conservatism, but the ones who just retreat further and further into conspiracy theories and nuttiness. Goodbye, Matt! We'll be back as soon as hurricanes threaten Florida! [Drudge Archives]
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By PareeneComment by Larry Fine: So does this mean that you will stop talking about him. Time to turn your back Gawker. He is irrelevant. 2 Responses | Other threads
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today's papers
Newspapers Agree: Today is Election Day
There's a limited number of ways you can make "election day" a front page, above the fold headline. Because, you know, nothing will be "news" until tomorrow. So you can "report," as many papers do, that people will choose someone (YOU DECIDE, YOU CHOOSE, IT'S UP TO YOU), today, with a big splash featuring both candidates' headshots. You can try to make some actual "news," as the Times and the Wall Street Journal do with stories on how historic everything is and what the winner will inherit. You can report on all the boring campaigning of yesterday, or predict electoral chaos, or, as the New York Post admirably did, just pretend there isn't even an old white Republican in this race. The papers in the attached image chose almost exactly as you might predict. A couple papers across the world went a different direction. More »
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By PareeneComment by ChicagoZ: Holy shit! Today is election day! I had no idea! 1 Responses | Other threads
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horse race
Obama Election Day Photo Op Fail
According to Drudge, Barack Obama and his wife Michelle have taken "more than 15 minutes to vote." Maybe they're undecided? His link goes nowhere. Ben Smith doesn't report anything about how long it took Barack Obama to vote. Meanwhile: "HILLARY POLITICKING INSIDE NY POLLING AREA, ADVOCATES FOR OBAMA, 5 FEET FROM BOOTHS... DEVELOPING..." Once again, no link! But this is really a "fuck you, too late to not vote for me" move by the Obamas. Look who else voted at their polling place: More »
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By PareeneComment by HeatherFinkDeux: They didn't give me the I Voted sticker. America is a sham. 14 Responses | Other threads
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october surprise
Drudge's Last Campaign Bombshell: Obama's Secretly Rude
Matt Drudge has lost it. Utterly, totally lost it. This is his headline, right now, the day before the elections. It links to a YouTube clip of Barack Obama scratching his face with his index and, yes, middle fingers. Just like he did to Hillary Clinton, once! Don't you remember? Now we know who the real Barack Obama is: he is a secret asshole. This is really the best anyone can do, because it turns out all those other secret things he is aren't true. More »
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By PareeneComment by azilaw: Why do you think that ending a sentence with the word "Right?" is a valid response to the issues?I'ts as... 44 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
British Gay Cannibal To Cook In Prison: 'Irony Chef'
Yesterday we asked for your best sleazy tabloid headlines for the story about the gay British cannibal chef who is now cooking for his fellow inmates in prison. There were many brilliant lines, but in the end only one could win and that was Carol Gardens' lovely and simple "Irony Chef." Yay! Thanks to Steve Dressler for the mock-up. Click the thumb to view it in full. -
weekly world news
Alien Revives Tabloid Corpse!
Entrepreneur and longtime entertainment executive Neil McGinness bought the deadpan supermarket tabloid Weekly World News from American Media, according to the Times, 14 months after the last issue was printed amid anemic circulation. McGinness has "revived" the website, which AMI had promised to keep open (as publishers tend to do), and might even bring back the print edition. The idea is that online advertising, licensing and movie deals can succeed where the prior incarnation failed. Plus, it's something of a golden age of satire, what with the Onion and Daily Show and so forth. The new site already has old staples Bat Boy and Ed Anger, but the headlines aren't quite up to snuff yet. Perhaps the site's distinguished editors can take some inspiration from this list of headlines from the past (add your own in the comments!): More »
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By Ryan TateComment by scroll_lock: "American Teen Girls Declare: 'I Wanna Be Just Like Bristol Palin!' " 6 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
'Man Eater Mans the Eats!'
Remember our good friend Anthony Morley? You know Anthony, he's the Mr. Gay UK winner who slit his lover's throat and then fried him up with olive oil and various spices and ate him. He's a nice young chap, and ha ha!, he was a chef by trade. So that's creepy and funny in a really terrible way. Well he was just sent to prison and, wouldn't you know it, he'll be working as a prison chef! The good news is that they're not letting him use knives. Since this is such a salacious, baroque bit of scandal, we figured we needed a splashy tabloid headline to commemorate the occasion. We came up with the awful one above, and we bet you can beat it. Leave your best gay cannibal headlines in the comments and we'll pick our favorite. Winner gets fame and glory in Photoshopped newspaper form.
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Comment by American Dreamer: How about: "Offal Eater is Just Plain Awful!" The British papers report that Morley has already been hired by an admirer... 3 Responses | Other threads
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heroes
NYPD Kills Dangerous Naked Guy
"COPS IN NUDE TASER SLAY", right? That is the headline of the day! Until you, you know, read the story. And it's about the NYPD killing a mentally ill dude with some tasers. He was armed with a fluorescent light and his nakedness, so he was tasered, and he fell from the second-floor awning he was standing on and landed, face-first, on the street, and was sent to a hospital, where he died. "'This is very out of character,' said the building's superintendent, Charlene Gayle, 31." He meant out of character for the dead, naked guy. Not for the NYPD! There is a video of some of this attached because we're ghouls.
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By PareeneComment by Aaron Altman: That is not an awning. It's a casing or housing for a roll-out gate. Either way, it might... 19 Responses | Other threads
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bias
Subtle Media Sarcasm Watch
So the press was entirely shut out of Sarah Palin's magical journey through the UN today. They are making up for it by being quietly bitchy. The headlines: "Palin meets her first world leaders in New York." (You know, from first world countries like Afghanistan!) And here is the most sarcastic Associated Press lead sentence ever: More »
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By PareeneComment by Heneage: It's a good lead, but my favorite AP lead is still "Giant dog turd wreaks havoc at Swiss museum." ... 4 Responses | Other threads
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siren song
Black Hole Fun
CERN's Large Hadron Collider, "the biggest physics experiment in history," fired its proton beam down its 17-mile tunnel this morning. No miniature black holes resulted. (So far.) To learn everything you need to know about the news today, just click to see how Matt Drudge put it, in what is perhaps the single finest one-two-punch headline combination he's ever crafted. [Drudge, all posts tagged 'Science With Drudge']
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By PareeneComment by Clare: Jesus don't want me for a proton beam. 9 Responses | Other threads
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headlines
Ted Kennedy Wins Rave Reviews
We were told Ted Kennedy, who's battling advanced brain cancer, had mere weeks to live. We were told there'd be a macabre video salute to the man in lieu of an actual appearance in Denver. So when he actually showed up on stage at the DNC to deliver a genuinely rousing speech, well, it was an emotional moment. So emotional that the major tabloids of both New York and Boston could not come up with original headlines. More »
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By PareeneComment by WasatchMan: He's dying. The only thing the papers can do is mouth cliches. Let Chappaquiddick rest until it's time... more » | Other threads
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shouting heads
Should We Bother Getting Offended by Rush Limbaugh?
People are outraged that Rush Limbaugh just said something offensive! This is him talking about Barack Obama somehow: "I think it really goes back to the fact that nobody had the guts to stand up and say no to a black guy." Except Rush, obv! Racist! But, you know, who cares? This is probably a sign that the terrorists have WON but it is actually impossible to be outraged by this man anymore. Did you even notice that he said two even more offensive things about Barack Obama this week? More »
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By PareeneComment by crankymediaguy: "Rush Limbaugh is the same guy who regularly takes flights down to the Dominican Republic (or some other place in... more » | Other threads
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headline of the day
Breaking Economic News
America's fiscal crisis finally hits us where it hurts. We hear the prices these days are obscene. (Very special thanks to tipster A.H.) [Reuters] -
silly season
Crazy Dog-Cloner is Crazy Missionary-Assaulter
Bernann McKinney mortgaged her home to travel to South Korea to have her pit bull cloned. Turns out, 30 years ago she kidnapped a Mormon missionary, chained him to a bed, and allegedly forced him to have sex with her. The Times of London further reports: "To add further mystery and zing to the whole story, Mr Anderson was said to have been wearing a Mormon chastity belt at the time." [The Australian, The Times]
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By PareeneComment by RandomLunatic: Say what you all will about the secret sexual selves of Mormons, no one can beat Pentecostals for sheer freakiness... more » | Other threads
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headlines
Us Weekly Offers Correction to Previous 'Ryan Seacrest Not Bit By Shark' Story
OK, not really, but hah! "I thought it was a stick," the befrosted American Idol host said. "I wasn't sure what had happened." Motorcycles are attacking Lindsay! Alcohol is sneaking its way into Shia LaBeouf's bloodstream and forcing his hand to turn the ignition key! And now Seacrest is being eaten by wild animals. I take it back! News is not slow! [Us] -
headlines
Man, 71, Upset About Things
From the New York Times. Prized playwright Tom Stoppard has current affairs-induced writer's block. The Times, on the other hand, keeps on churning out sad, telling little oddities like this. "Arts, Briefly." Man oh man.
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Comment by Migrant Blogger: @quinticire: Or, he could become Lara Logan's kid's manny more » | Other threads
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poor taste
Luck of the Drowned
Hey, Newsweek readers! Why not spice up your sex life with a vacation? Or go wild in Las Vegas! And hey, while you're feeling lucky, why not consider a fun trip to beautiful Cedar Rapids, Iowa, the city that is conveniently located entirely underwater for all your travel needs. [Newseek]
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By PareeneComment by AuntPeniston: @StrawBerryShortCake: Fascinating, indeed. I have vivid memories of my father struggling to open the dam at the edge of the... more » | Other threads
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los angeles times
LA Times Not Afraid To Ask The Meta Questions
Come for the Secret Diary Of A Call Girl review, stay for the copy-editing questions. (She found the show surprisingly boring and, yes, a subhead would work in both places.) [Los Angeles Times]
headlines
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Sat Jul 11
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