Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

Slumdog Millionaire dominated as expected, an international sweep in a night studded with British, Indian and Australian wins. Not that there was much danger of nationalist unity within Hollywood; host Hugh Jackman managed to work some surprisingly vicious showbiz digs into the show, including lines from Steve Martin and Tina Fey not-so-subtly mocking Scientology and Ben Stiller's unsparing imitation of Joaquin Phoenix.

There were some misfires, like the lengthy nominee tributes involving top stars giving overlong, wedding-toast-style speeches for each contender in top categories like Best Actor and Actress. But there were also more memorable moments than any viewer had a right to expect. The best:

10. Franco and Rogen turn the Reader into stoner comedy

"Their giggling and guffawing at The Reader is somehow more damning (and more exposing of the film's overweening pomposity) than a thousand bad reviews." —Guardian. (OK, sure, but Kate Winslet's little gold man begs to disagree about the Reader.)

9. Angelina Jolie grins big at Jennifer Aniston

You just had to cut to Jolie during Aniston's animation award presentation, didn't you, ABC? OK, so we secretly enjoyed the shot of the Brad Pitt-stealer's wide grin, but that's not the point.

8. Philippe Petit's statuette-balancing magic trick

The star of Best Documentary Man on the Wire was making a naked bid to become the stuntman for all future Academy Award ceremonies. We're all for it, as long as the Frenchman returns each year with his charming white scarf.

7. Host Hugh Jackman: "The Musical Is Back"

Is it? Because some of us felt like we were stuck on the lido deck of a cruise. Including Penelope Cruz, judging by her arched eyebrows at the close of the biggest number.

6. Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix

Oscar presenters don't normally go after their own. Stiller did. His deadpan, unmistakable imitation of Phoenix's notorious performance on David Letternan is as good a sign as any that Phoenix, who has declared himself retired from acting, is now being as much pushed out of the Hollywood community as leaving it.

5. Tina Fey and Steve Martin's Scientology dig

Or maybe they were talking about some other "made up" religion involving an alien king scattering seeds across the Earth to "fuel our positive transfers." But you don't have to be a Clear to know that's unlikely. (Though this is the best bit, Fey and Martin's overall routine was excellent. As was their rapport.)

4. Heath Ledger's family accepts his award

The late Dark Knight actor received a touching tribute from his father, mother and eager sister. But what happened to the mother of his child, Michelle Williams? She wasn't even mentioned.

3. Kate Winslet's whistle

The Englishwoman's Best Actress win was widely expected; her sweet call-and-response with her father was not.

2. Dustin Lance Black on gay rights: "God does love you."

The Mormon-raised Milk screenwriter once found inspiration and emotional sustenance in California. With his heartfelt message to "gay and lesbian kids," Black returned the favor.

1. Sean Penn: "You Commie, homo-loving sons of guns."

Accepting for Best Actor, Penn killed. The tightly-wound actor was charmingly self-deprecating. And his cutting comments on California's gay marriage ban, which came near the end of the Oscar telecast, provided the perfect bookend for Black's statements, near the start.

Prosecutors had kept an April 23 subpoena up their sleeves as they tried to convince Olsen to voluntarily speak with federal drug agents still probing Ledger's January overdose, the source said.

...The U.S. Attorney of the Southern District decided not to serve Olsen with a subpoena, the source said.

The Post is not happy, saying "twin troll" Olsen has been "given another free pass." But actually she earned that pass — with a smart PR strategy of just-sweeping-enough public denials coupled with a refusal to meet with the narcs privately. With cynicism about the federal security apparatus as high as it is right now, it's hard to imagine what's left of Olsen's fan base holding that against her.

Despite tabloid speculation, Mary-Kate Olsen had nothing whatsoever to do with the drugs found in Heath Ledger's home or his body, and she does not know where he obtained them.

Regarding the Government's investigation, at Ms. Olsen’s request, we have provided the Government with relevant information including facts in the chronology of events surrounding Mr. Ledger's death and the fact that Ms. Olsen does not know the source of the drugs Mr. Ledger consumed.

We don't know the source of the information being quoted in the media regarding the Government's inquiry, but these descriptions are incomplete and inaccurate.

Interesting that Olsen is requesting immunity from the Drug Enforcement Administration while denying so many possible drug charges! Of course, a media release is not a binding legal declaration, despite the fact that it was issued by the actress' attorney.

But the breadth of her public denial, and the likely damage to her reputation if it was later found to be false, do make it seem unlikely Olsen has a connection to the drugs that killed Ledger, and make it at least less likely that her bodyguards tampered with the crime scene.

Which raises the inevitable question, why does Olsen need immunity?

It could plausibly be significant that Olsen denies a connection to only those drugs found at the home and in Ledger's body, such as OxyContin. If she imagines herself being questioned more broadly about Ledger's use of other drugs, and on how he procured those, immunity would be useful in providing answers involving Olsen using recreational narcotics (however innocuous) along with Ledger, or in providing answers involving Olsen putting Ledger in touch with someone who might have later, unbeknownst to Olsen, supplied him with OxyContin or other drugs.

It's hard to imagine many of Olsen or Ledger's fans getting very upset if the actress wants immunity so she can avoid being questioned about the drugs that didn't kill Heath Ledger. Who wants to get tied up in an investigation into recreational celebrity drug use that's going to shed little, if any, new light on Ledger's death? In that sense, the carefully written, just-broad-enough statement from Olsen's lawyers does a brilliant job of shoring up the actress' reputation while keeping the authorities at arm's length.

UPDATE: As the Post notes, the AP story also quotes an anonymous official stating the feds have a subpoena that "could force" Olsen to appear before a grand jury if negotiations fall through. "Could?" Sounds constrained. If the feds can compel the testimony they need, why would they bother negotiating?

As we all know, Heath Ledger, who plays the Joker in the film, died in January from an accidental overdose of sleeping pills and other medication. It was a fluke accident that swiftly stopped his sure-to-be meteoric rise to fame in its tracks. Some claimed that Ledger had been in a dark place after wrapping the film, having gone too deep into his crazed, anarchist character. But was that really it? Isn't that what every actor does? Could it have been a curse?

Christian Bale, who plays the rough and (annoyingly) growling Caped Crusader recently had a row with his mother and sister, right before the film's London premiere. It led to an arrest on an assault charge, though Bale denies any real wrongdoing. He is said to have had a deeply troubled childhood, which could be the reason for his violent outburst. Or... could it be a hex?

And then, sadly, we get to Freeman's auto accident. The actor, who plays Lucius Fox in the film, was driving in Mississippi last night when his car skipped the road and rolled down an embankment. He's said to be in "serious condition." There have been no reports of alcohol or substance abuse or any of that unseemly (like this post) stuff, so maybe it was, in fact, the dark shadow force that bewitched and doomed him.

Also, a crewman died while filming one of the movie's epic action sequences. (But he wasn't famous, so, boo!, apparently.) The film's other actors have so far not reported any ghostly occurrences or freak accidents, and the producers are definitely happy and swimming in piles of money. But could this just be the deceiving prelude to the awfulness that's yet to befall them? Could they spiral into addiction, spurned by an overabundance of wealth and an unseen malevolent force? More importantly, what could have provoked this curse? Supposedly the Poltergeist jinx was brought about when real skeletons were used for the film's opening scene. Did some such malfeasance take place on the Dark Knight set? I mean, other than the oily, meaty presence of Eric Roberts.

According to sources, all of the drugs in Ledger's body and discovered nearby in prescription bottles were legally obtained from two physicians - with the exception of OxyContin, a powerful painkiller.

Investigators "are trying to ID the source of the OxyContin," a source said. "Did it come from a dealer, from a friend? If he had a bottle from a friend, was it taken by someone else before police responded? That is what is trying to be determined."

But Olsen, the tabloid claims, is refusing to talk until she gets immunity from prosecution. Immunity, one naturally wonders, from what? Would supplying a prescription drug to Ledger carry so much jailtime, if Olsen even did that? Or is she worried about something more nefarious — like tampering with a crime scene?

Or perhaps Olsen's alleged request is more routine, a pro forma form of legal hardball designed to bring authorities into contact on the most favorable terms possible. But unlike most parties to an investigation, Olsen is a celebrity with an image to uphold, an image that can be damaged simply by trying to get immunity in the first place — as today's Post story shows.

[Post]

WHAT'S NEW: Look, what more can we say about The Dark Knight? It's terrifically well-made, it's tracking hotter than train on fire and even Terry Gilliam backslid his way into publicizing it. All that matters anymore are the numbers: Warners is unloading this thing on more than 9,000 screens worldwide, including 4,366 in the US. That's a record, reports Variety, though word on the street is that its 152-minute running time and multiplex competition will keep it from breaking Spider-Man 3's record $151 million opening last year. We're not so sure; $145 million isn't out of the question, especially with IMAX screenings sold out literally everywhere and overflow heading into neighboring theaters.

Universal, meanwhile, has exactly the thing for the Batman-o-phobic moviegoer in Mamma Mia!, the Meryl Streep-starring adaptation of the hit ABBA stage musical. We'd rather chew off our tongues than sit through this, but that doesn't mean it couldn't turn around a nice $32 million or so as pretty much the only escape from DK fever. Also opening: Not much, really, with the all-access doc A Very British Gangster and the Kilmer/Dorff prison drama Felon bringing up the art-house rear.

THE BIG LOSER: With Meet Dave presumably a top-10 goner, Fox faces its second consecutive hurdle this week with Space Chimps. This isn't necessarily a "loser," though, looking at roughly $9 million from the families too young for the decidedly dark Knight en route to its DVD/cable future. Call us optimists, but everyone might pretty much get what they want this weekend.

THE UNDERDOG: We recommend Lou Reed's Berlin with a slight reservation: We haven't seen it. But! We did attend the concerts at which Julian Schnabel filmed Reed's live revival of his 1973 masterpiece — a feel-bad epic of drugs, domestic abuse and suicide that makes The Dark Knight look like Batman and Robin. We can vouch for the cinematic quality of the music itself, brought storming from the dead by producer Bob Ezrin and accompanied by vocalist Antony and original, astounding session guitarist Steve Wagner. It took Reed years to reclaim this form (if he did at all; it's debatable), and to catch it through Schnabel's lens, itself at the top of its craft... Well, that doesn't even seem fair.

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD's include the crackling, commendable Jason Statham heist flick The Bank Job; the Oscar-short-lister Brazilian coming-of-ager The Year My Parents Went on Vacation; the B-thriller Asylum ("From the director of Final Destination 2"!); and for you Emmy-season latecomers, the first season of Holly Hunter's TNT drama Saving Grace.

So, how's the line for Dark Knight? Are are you Team ABBA this weekend? Maybe catching up a bit on your Statham canon? We can't say we blame you. Tell us any best-kept secrets we might have missed!

10. Tom Cruise, Top Gun

9. Renee Zellwegger, Chicago

8. Keira Knightley, Edge Of Love

7. Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge

6. Rupert Everett, My Best Friend's Wedding

5. Diane Keaton, Radio Days

4. Scarlett Johansson, Lost In Translation

3. Gwyneth Paltrow, Infamous

2. Zooey Deschanel, Elf

1. Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You

• Kate Hudson Joins Cast of Movie Musical Nine [People]

Follow the jump for their respective two cents — mostly spoiler-free for even the most casual followers of the film, and naturally among the finest criticism available anywhere online.

STV: We should probably go into this acknowledging that the film is review-proof and completely saturated with things too interesting to spoil.
STV: That said, I just thought it was pretty good.
SA: I thought it was excellent!
STV: Yeah, yeah, fine. It's fitfully brilliant, but so heavy-handed. Did I miss something?
SA: Nope. This was the summer 2008 superhero movie for people who enjoy feeling awful, and thinking about feeling awful, and expressing what makes feeling awful so gosh darn wonderful.
STV: Iron Man this is not.
SA: It's misanthropy porn. It's also the bluest superhero movie I've ever seen, in every sense of the word.
STV: Right. From the start, too — those billowing blue flames, the Hong Kong horizons, Gotham at night.
STV: And yeah, everyone's depressed as hell.
SA: But that said, I don't think a single scene passed by that I didnt feel worked. And it was a long movie.
STV: What about the story? I was lost.
SA: The story was fine. Corrupt city government. Crime infested streets.
SA: It was sort of The Departed with bat-gadgets.
STV: But the Joker shows up wanting a piece of Teflon goombah Eric Roberts, the Russians, the blacks, and a Hong Kong money-laundering syndicate.
SA: Its the Mafia Olympics!
STV: Even if Gotham City is totally corrupt, it's the most equal-opportunity corruption in history, which I guess should be commended.
SA: Speaking of the Joker, what did you think of Heath?
STV: Heath was annoying.
STV: It's not his fault. Nolan couldn't rein him in.
SA: I was prepared for him to be annoying, but I actually really enjoyed him.
SA: I mean, its The Joker! This isn't a portrait in subtlety. You want hyena cackles!
STV: But look — and this is my problem with the whole movie: The audience is overwhelmed with moralizing.
SA: Yes, I'll agree it got bogged down in speechifying.
STV: The Joker is the default "Man, this world is fucked" mouthpiece, but his actions — just his very look — defy the monologues, the hamminess.
STV: He needs an origin story like the Burton Joker, right? Who the hell is this guy?
SA: Yeah — their not committing to his backstory was a strong choice, but I'm not sure it really helped them.
SA: But I think they were trying to say, "What does it matter where he came from?" Like, what does it matter where any psychopath comes from? He's chaos. But then you have no psychological in, so he's less interesting.
STV: Alfred the Butler touches on it: "Some people just want to watch the world burn."
SA: Yeah, but that doesn't satisfy dramatically.
STV: Even that was kind of overbearing.
SA: Nolan was reaching high with this. He obviously wanted the monologues.
STV: He's a great director, though, right? I mean, this film looks, feels, sounds amazing.
SA: That's why your quibbles don't bother me. This is his ride, and it's spectacular, and if he wants his speeches about human nature, I'll listen to them.
SA: He chose great actors to deliver them.
STV: But he's so much better at subterranean truck chases and high-altitude kidnappings. I want overturned big rigs!
SA: Well, luckily there's tons of those. And 180-degree, wall-flipping Bad Pods.
STV: And the Bat-Blobile. What was that? The Batmobile was a hulking blob of scrap on wheels.
SA: It was batass.
STV: OK, give me one-line summaries of the following actors' performances: Christian Bale.
SA: Obscene caller voice.
STV: Aaron Eckhart.
SA: Boringly delicious!
STV: Maggie Gyllenhaal.
SA: Made the most of the whiny token female.
STV: Michael Caine.
SA: Should have let him out of the fluorescent Batchamber more.
STV: He's basically a cockney Jiminy Cricket serving breakfast. How about Morgan Freeman?
SA: If God and Q had a kid.
STV: Gary Oldman.
SA: He gets swallowed up in it. He's one of the best actors ever.
STV: I think he's the best thing about it.
SA: Is he?
STV: He's a guy pulled 15 different ways, very flawed, vulnerable, and at his best when things are out of his control. He gets to work when shit hits the fan, while everyone else just sort of... talks.
SA: What did you think of Batman's voice?
STV: I didn't quite get it.
SA: Me neither. It was silly.
STV: He never closes his mouth when he talks, either! It lets all the air out of the big, portentous balloon.
STV: Is Heath Oscar-worthy?
SA: He'll definitely get a nomination.
SA: I sort of think the movie itself deserves a Best Picture nomination. It's just so ambitious and epic and so expensive-looking.
STV: This movie is going to make a fortune, right? I'm calling $140 million for the weekend plus $2 billion in damage caused by rioting fans worldwide.
STV: And I am a believer in IMAX.
SA: Oh, definitely. Those scenes were so cool.
STV: Bad format for preachy screenwriter moralizing, excellent format for hospital implosions and 10-minute chase sequences.
SA: OMG — that hospital. Yeah, I really loved this movie.
STV: It's not bad. I'll stick with Iron Man.
SA: Iron Man was fun; this was a nice compliment.
STV: The Dark Knight: Nihilism for the whole family.

Jossip offers names like Biggie, Tupac, and Anna Nicole Smith as comparison, but we've selected three other figures (Lennon included) who died famously and tragically to compare to Russert's death. We'll measure the impact (socially, on the media, etc) of each passing on a scale from 1-10.

The Respected Institution: Tim Russert, Heart Failure, June 13, 2008
Russert was a fixture of Washington press and politics. He was both jovial and stern, pleasant and probing. He was the kind of reporter who gave a good face to politics. To that end, every news media figure had some fond remembrance of Russert, some anecdote. Every news show in the land had (or is having) a special Russert retrospective. A "private" memorial service will be broadcast by MSNBC tomorrow.
Impact: 4. I suppose all of this is just something of a twenty-one gun salute from his colleagues. Some people, like Shafer, may criticize the coverage for being indulgent. Of course it's indulgent, these people are his friends and have newscameras in front of them. Whether some sinister network exec is standing in the shadows, rubbing his hands together, with dollar signs in his eyes seems mostly inconsequential. The lamentation and celebration seems genuine, heartfelt.

The Rising Star: Heath Ledger, Drug Overdose, January 22, 2008
The young actor, who had received critical raves for his portrayal of a repressed gay cowboy in 2005's Brokeback Mountain, was getting large buzz for a number of upcoming films, including this summer's The Dark Knight, in which he stars as The Joker, Batman's arch nemesis. Ledger's death, from a bad mixture of sleeping pills and other medication, was originally thought to be a suicide, but tests quickly disproved that. It seems as though it was just a dumb bit of bad luck. As the paparazzi was largely responsible for Princess Diana's death (see below), the paparazzi made themselves well known here too, this time as rabid spectators and (ahem) gawkers. When the news broke, legions of photographers rushed to the SoHo apartment where the 28-year-old's body was found, hoping to see the body brought out. And they did.
Impact: 5. The instant explosion of news about Ledger's death showed the blogosphere at its full, bellowing power. It mushroom clouded very quickly, with people speculating, trading gossip (was Mary-Kate Olsen involved?), and eventually criticizing the media's lasciviousness toward the whole matter. But news moved on fairly quickly, and it was all over within a week or so.

The Poet: John Lennon Shot and Killed, December 8, 1980
The strange, swirling brain of definitive rock band the Beatles, Lennon was as iconic a figure of the Western world's social, sexual, and political awakening as any other in the 20th century. Naturally, news of his death reverberated enormously with his fans and followers. A crowd of a 100,000 or so gathered in memorial in Central Park, not far from the scene of the shooting. News outlets covered the story non-stop, dogging the surviving Beatles for reactions. Central Park's Strawberry Fields was dedicated in his honor.
Impact: 8. As shocking a death as possible, given the nature of the incident and Lennon's iconic status. Though it had been ten years since the Beatles broke up, Lennon and wife Yoko Ono remained fixtures of the progressive music scene. Grief over his death was genuine and profound, and substantial and enduring media coverage reflected that. In the past two years two films about the assassination have been released.

The Heroine: Diana Spencer, Princess of Wales Killed in Car Accident While Trying to Avoid Paparazzi, August 31st, 1997
The death of Diana, ex-wife of the United Kingdom's Prince Charles, rocked the entire world. A grand tragedy in all possible ways — a lovely young mother of two little boys, a beloved activist for peace to boot, killed in the stupidest and most avoidable of accidents — 2.5 billion people watched her funeral. My mother, who had woken up very early in the morning years before to watch Diana's wedding to Charles, woke us up in the middle of the night to tell us what had happened. The world felt immediate then, everything felt close by — even though we were in a small summer house in Rhode Island and the tragedy was farway on a busy Paris street. I imagine that's how many others felt, as well.
Impact: 10. As big and devastating as these deaths get, one hopes. Loved for her kind nature and down-to-earth sensibilities, for many people Diana represented something universally good and hopeful in the world. When that was taken away, quite suddenly and under such frustrating circumstances, the sense of loss lingered for some time. That sadness, compounded with the scandal of the Queen's relative silence on the matter, made the frenzy over the story reach unimaginable heights. It seemed to go on for months and months (aided, I'm sure, by Elton John's "Candle In the Wind" redo). And who can forget that dreadful, defining footage (shown over and over and over again) of her two boys, William and Harry, walking in the funeral procession?

The real fact of the matter, though, is that many people have died since Friday, since this morning, since I started writing this post. Like I said earlier, nearly every one of those deaths deserves recognition and memorials and all manner of other things. As our world doesn't quite work that way, we're left here with the famous deaths and, strangely, I've been tasked to quantify the reactions. I'm certainly not assessing the import of the actual life, of the actual grief, but rather what the media and its followers did when they stumbled, carelessly or not, upon it.

Try, if you can, to tune out the grating commentators speculating as to Ledger's state of mind when he made this, and instead focus of the gorgeous "Dog" melody (so named for Winston Churchill's famous description of depression), and Heath's haunting, black and white visual accompaniment. The final scene, which they deem "too graphic for us to broadcast," reportedly depicts Ledger drowning himself in a baththub. Once you're done watching, we then suggest you hang out with these furry BFFs for a little while.

• A Current Affair AUS
• Heath Ledger's Video For Nick Drake Song: Eerie Postscript To Actor's Death [MTV]

As we've helpfully pointed out, it's remarkably easy to accidentally kill yourself with popular prescriptions. In Ledger's case, it was painkiller OxyContin, anti-anxiety drugs Valium and Xanax, a couple sleep aids, and Vicodin. You probably know people with most of that cocktail in their medicine cabinets (or purses) right now.

Isn't this a handy riposte to your average thinking person's argument for the decriminalization of "street drugs"? Taxation, regulation, and government oversight is supposed to make everything safer—but when you add in a large degree of disposable income, a depressive personality, and the lobbying power of the pharmaceutical industry, death's just as likely to be found at Duane Reade as on some theoretical dark streetcorner.

So... is Tom Cruise right? Would Scientologist Heath Ledger still be with us, healthy and drug-free? Discuss. Or just call us craven exploitative gossip-mongering leeches.

Exerting pressure by calling the producers of the two CBS Paramount programs, Portman and company were successful in convincing them to think long and hard before airing the footage; apparently, their not-so-veiled threats to never again allow Cojo and a camera crew to accompany them to their future pedicures or Robertson Blvd shopping sprees proved too potentially crippling to their fluff-segment interests to ignore, resulting in yesterday's unexpected announcement that the shows had suddenly discovered a newfound concern for how the video might affect Ledger's grieving family.

• Stars Pressure TV Shows to Nix Ledger Drug Video [ABC News]
• Previously: 'ET' /'The Insider' Pay Large Amount Of Money For, Then Slowly Back Away From Alleged Heath Ledger Drug Video [Defamer]

Australia's Channel 9 will reportedly air the footage tonight, but relentlessly scrupulous American celebrity newsmagazine shows ET and The Insider, despite having paid a rumored $200,000 for rights to the clip and having teased their expensive exclusive yesterday, have announced that they won't run "the video which has been circulating in the world media" (read: devalued) "out of respect" (read: probably not that good anyway) for Ledger's family; not only should this compassionate decision serve to alleviate any residual guilt over their six-figure impulse buy, but it will spare Insider host and noted Hollywood party-goer Pat O'Brien from having to feign dismay about what actually takes place at these depraved show-business bacchanals. The above Insider clip shows one of the aforementioned teases; inevitably, Celebrity Rehab's Dr. Drew makes a cameo, offering his trademarked basic-cable-addiction-specialist compassion in response to the breaking news.

• Heath Ledger caught on drug tape [NY Daily News]
• 'ET' and 'The Insider' Will Not Run Heath Ledger Video [ETOnline.com]

OK!
"Yes, Angie's Pregnant!" At the SAG awards ceremony, Angelina had morning sickness in the evening, says someone working the event. "I thought she was going to lose it right there at the table." She had her food taken away and Brad had his taken away too. As for other pregnancies, Cash Warren says fiancee Jessica Alba "gets cranky when she's hungry." Who doesn't? In other news, Mary-Kate was seen out dancing to a band two days after Heath Ledger was found dead. A friend says in 2006, Heath was hanging out in a hotel and "drank everything in the mini bar" and was looking for cocaine. But when he was high Heath talked about how much he loved Matilda and said he loved Michelle but couldn't see himself marrying her. Plus, some think Nicole Richie is a little blue after having her baby, but will turn to work: She's going to put out an album, a jewelry line and a style book.
Grade: F (Sno Balls)

Us
"Heath Ledger's Secret Struggles." Sources say Heath Ledger would drink to get drunk and that Michelle Williams wanted him to get drug-tested before she'd let him spend time with Matilda. Also, she drove him to Promises rehab in Malibu and he wouldn't get out of the car — he swore he'd clean up on his own. In Britney news, she may be finally getting help: Sam Lutfi told Barbara Walters that she's been to a psychiatrist and is maybe starting some kind of treatment. (But Britney had an attitude about it and wasn't taking it seriously.) Monday, Britney's mother tried to get her to go to an in-patient psychiatric facility and Britney refused, sneaked away and asked Adnan Ghalib to come pick her up. Also inside: Kate Moss is planning legal action against UK tabloid News Of The Word because the paper reported that she celebrated her birthday with an orgy.
Grade: D- (Honey Bun)

Life & Style
"Angelina's Dangerous Pregnancy." The magazine has some random ob/gyn named Randy Fink say things like Angelina could go into pre-term labor, suffer from high blood pressure or have "extra stretching of abdominal skin." Isn't that stuff applicable to any pregnant woman? The mag also notes that Angie was "alarmingly skinny" just a few months ago. What else? Britney Spears went to see 27 Dresses and left the theater in tears! Her mom, Lynne Spears, is trying to juggle Jamie Lynn and Britney's demands: Britney says she feels like she can't get her boys back without her mom's help, but Lynne says "Jamie Lynn's my baby and I will always be there for her." Meanwhile, Jamie Lynn bought her baby daddy a used truck: Her dad wasn't happy with the old truck her boyfriend was driving his daughter around in, so they went to get something nicer. In Heath news: Matilda Ledger is "The Baby Heath Left Behind" : A L.A. neighbor says "he was such a good dad, he taught Matilda to swim in our pool." Another source says that after Michelle kicked Heath out, his drug use got worse than ever. As for Mary-Kate, she's been spotted at several NYC bars and nightspots and insiders says he partly blames herself for Heath's death because she partied with him. Lastly, Nicole Richie is so thin "looks like she was never pregnant" ; Tori Spelling is pregnant again, and motherhood is changing Nicole Kidman; an insider says "It's as if Nicole's face is suddenly thawing." Sweet.
Grade: D (pork rinds)

In Touch
"What Mary-Kate Knows" Lots more here about MK calling her bodyguard instead of 911. Also, apparently Heath had a bit of a late night before he died; his last phone call was made at 2:20 A.M. and his blood alcohol level was high. In other news: Madonna has mysterious bruises under her eyes and it could be from a filler called Sculptra, which causes more bruising than Botox or Resytlane. Or it could be lower eyelid surgery! Madge turns 50 in August, maybe she wants to look ageless? Plus,Angelina will have three more babies this year: Angie is pregnant with twins — twins run in the Pitt family; Brad's sister has twins — and also the couple still plans to adopt an Ethiopian girl they had their eye before Angie got knocked up. And Matthew McConaughey says of his unborn spawn: "He or she will hang out at the beach and go on hikes wearing wild bandanas." Lastly, The List this week is "They Hooked Up With The Help" — Usher fell in love with a stylist; Ethan Hawke is dating the nanny; Patrick Dempsey married his hair stylist.
Grade: D (quarter water; aka sugary "juice" in a plastic barrel)

Star
"Yes, It's True!" Angelina's having twins! During the Critics' Choice awards, she ordered Oreos and Doritos, even though they weren't on the menu. The mag says Angie and Brad tried to conceive a few times before the in vitro took. Also: Portia de Rossi has been ignoring Ellen DeGeneres because she's addicted to Guitar Hero III and Halle Berry is anxious about being knocked up and doesn't want to appear matronly so she's looking for designer ensembles she can wear instead of maternity clothes. In other news, John Mayer has had a thing for Paula Abdul for years but is weird and shy about it and Tom Cruise saved a hawk! He heard the bird was struck by a car in Arizona and had his private jet pick it up and fly it to a hawk sanctuary in Colorado for treatment. More: Nine out of ten nurses at Cedars-Sinai preferred Nicole Richie to Christina Aguilera because Nicole bought other mothers "push presents" and had people in "stitches" with her humor. (They were happy to see Christina go.) Heath news: Mary Kate Olsen was obsessed with Heath Ledger; she thought he was a great mix of deep thinking sexuality; they would hook up in L.A. hotels or Heath's apartment in New York. The New York Post's Cindy Adams admits that she knows nothing about the circumstances around Heath's death — but knows that some stars have private security show up at a scene before the cops to get rid of illegal substances. Sigh. Lastly, Miley Cyrus, 15, is having trouble with her high-stress lifestyle! Sometimes she can't even eat and almost passes out on stage. She thinks she looks fat in fan pictures and that her legs and face are "all jiggly" to fans in the first row at concerts.
Grade: C (Twinkies)

By the [day after Ledger's death], a man claiming to be Kim Ledger managed to get Cruise on the phone, a source said.

Over the next few days, he "had had a couple of conversations with" Cruise, asking for emotional support, said the source. But Cruise abruptly cut him off when he learned "he was an impostor," the source said. "Heath's reps found out there was this hoaxer and they called various celebs." Sources close to Cruise confirmed the impostor contacted him.

Travolta publicist Samantha Mast said, "John spoke with the guy briefly before he realized he was an impostor. He did not make arrangements to buy him a plane ticket." But a source said Travolta, who had been "making arrangements to buy [the impostor] a plane ticket from Australia to LA and subsequently to New York."

Realizing the death of a fellow A-lister was the tragic-accident equivalent of a 28-car pileup on a rain-slicked freeway, the cruel impostor's grift was slyly calculated to take full advantage of Cruise and Travolta's lifelong pledge to good Scientological samaritanism. It's to their credit that both actors lept to his aid, erring on the side of gullibility, rather than first insisting the voice on the other end of the line be subjected to a personality test intake exam and e-meter reading, just to verify his stress-levels matched those of an authentically grieving parent.

• SICKO POSES AS HEATH'S FATHER [NY Post]

"Terry's throwing himself into the job of trying to salvage the picture. [He's] trying to work out at this moment how to continue on. Fortunately, because the film deals with magic, there is a way, perhaps, of turning Heath into other people and then, using stills and I think they call it CGI."

Listen, we're not about to string Captain Von Trapp up for not knowing about recent cinematic innovations like color photography, dissolves or green screens. However, it does seem a bit off-putting that he blabbed to People about Ledger's pill-popping final days on set.

"We all caught colds because we were shooting outside on horrible, damp nights. But Heath's went on and I don't think he dealt with it immediately with the antibiotics ... I think what he did have was the walking pneumonia. [Heath] was saying all the time, 'dammit, I can't sleep'...and he was taking all these pills [to help him]."

• Show Will Go On for Heath's Last Movie, Says Costar [People.com]

Though short on surprises—soon-to-be Oscar recipients Javier Bardem and Daniel Day-Lewis rightly had their brilliance recognized by their peers, as did anyone connected to The Sopranos—the telecast was not without highlights: a humbled Tina Fey recognized co-star and fellow SAGgie winner Alec Baldwin for elevating her "hat rack"-like presence to awards-worthy levels' No Country for Old Men's Josh Brolin hogged the spotlight by rambling for what seemed like a solid half-hour on behalf of the semi-amused castmates assembled behind him; Tom Cruise presented without a single, unnerving laugh; WGA president Patric Verrone's offered a subtle thank you to Cruise for the Guild's deal with United Artists by wearing the star's Valkyrie hairstyle. Of course, there can be no discussion of the show's most memorable moments without a nod to Day-Lewis's moving, extended tribute to recently deceased colleague Heath Ledger (video above), a stirring testimonial to the actor's talent that more than made up for the tacked-on-seeming Brokeback Mountain still at the end of the evening's In Memoriam montage.

• The 13th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards [TNT.tv]
• Stars Seize Their Chance to Shine at SAG Awards [NY Times]

Don't take depressants together! Don't mix benzodiazepines with sleeping pills! Or opioids! Or antihistamines! But especially opioids.

About 75% of all overdose deaths involve drug combinations: the most deadly combinations seem to involve opioids plus other depressants. According to the federal Drug Abuse Warning Network, more overdose deaths are caused by opioid mixtures than by any other single drug or combination of drugs.

And there's good news!

Cocaine use is reported in a significant minority of overdose deaths: however, because cocaine counteracts some of the sedating effects of depressants, it may actually reduce overdose risk from opioids.

(Just avoid shooting it.)

And finally, the most important advice of all for current or aspiring celebrity partyboys (and girls): "if you have been addicted, and then quit, the dose you can tolerate after detox is far lower than the dose you could tolerate before."

Stick with one downer at a time, if you must mix use a little coke, and if you must quit, ease yourself back into it. And have a great weekend!

What We Can Learn from Heath Ledger's Death: Don't Mix Downs!!! [HuffPo]

According to Us Weekly, Olsen's rep is denying her bodyguard's alleged statements, causing even more confusion. The Post also claims that Mary-Kate made her own phone calls to a more private security detail to avoid a media circus (worked like a charm, MK!). Why Wolozin's first phone call was to Mary-Kate remains a mystery, as does Olsen's apparent pacifism under pressure, but all 1000 of these speculations add up to an abounding zero factual conclusions. We're laying off the guessing games until MK climbs out of whatever drawer she sleeps in these days to add some weight (zing!) to any theories.

• A Desperate Call [NY Post]

The bad taste started early in the QUICK RESPONSE AIM chats that lit up the New York gossip elite's MacBooks yesterday afternoon. Balk prayed his scoop would hold up. It did! Jessica Coen—tumblring again!—also reposted the harried chatting frenzy. Former Gawker Media Managing Editor Lockhart Steele made the first recorded "Joker crying on the inside" joke at 5 p.m..

Our own inbox last night was full of depressingly unfunny "stalker" sightings. HEATH LEDGER SPOTTED NOT LOOKING SO GREAT ON BROOME STREET—now that's comedy! Because he was dead, you see. And famous. When it bends... (Denton removed an earlier Gawker post referencing those sightings because, he argues, sometimes even being condemnatory of bad taste can be in fairly bad taste. Just like this post you're reading right now!)

The undisputed masters of terrible taste are, of course, the lunatics at Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church. They're the ones who picket the funerals of dead soldiers and run the website about how God doesn't like Carson Kressley. Naturally, they'll be picketing Heath's funeral, because he kissed a boy once, in a moving picture. Per Radar, their announcement:

Oh, the funny videos are already up on YouTube—have you seen the one that couples the video of the body being carried out of the apartment with audio of paparazzi shouting Ledger's name and asking him questions? Classic stuff!

(Given more time and a different venue we'd defend the ancient and venerable practice of gallows humor, especially when faced with the inexplicable surreality of unexpected tragedies, but honestly—"I can't quit you" jokes? Jesus.)

Not only had Ledger, unusually for an actor made for romantic leads, won credibility by taking on the role of the gay cowboy; he had validated the choice of other actors, and other creatives, to resist the corrupting commercial draw of Los Angeles.

By settling in the most Bohemian borough of New York, Brooklyn, Ledger and his young family even more clearly invited the identification of a creative class that despised Los Angeles, historically, and Manhattan, increasingly, as high real estate prices drove out all but the bankers and lawyers.

Of course, that's not how it ended. After the separation from his wife, Michelle Williams, the Australian actor hit Manhattan clubs such as the quaintly low-ceilinged Beatrice Inn. And he died, in an overpriced Soho that has few remaining artists' lofts, wheeled out past a crowd of paparazzi and cameras much like those he tried to escape in Los Angeles.

• Heath Ledger's Final Months, a Gridskipper map.

As the discovery of pills "strewn" around Ledger's naked body spread, speculation mounted that his death had been a suicide. Pareene wrote a very good on-the-fly obituary of Ledger. Lawson compiled a best-of moments and US Magazine soon began to trot out Ledger's "I knew this would happen..." friends. The cluster of cameras in front of 421 Broome grew larger and larger. Yes, we will still there too.

Buxom media demon Julia Allison mourned the loss of one of Australian's greatest talents on her tumblr page by appearing on MSNBC to discuss his death. And around the world, journalists scrambled to assemble all their old reviews into thoughtful eulogies.

Later in the evening, Ledger's body was removed from the apartment on a stretcher. Thousands of flashes illuminated the black body bag as it was loaded into a white van. Yes, we were there as well.

Suicide was widely reported as being the cause of death though this is disputed by Ledger's family and unsubstantiated by police reports. This hasn't stopped Bonnie Fuller on the Huffington Post from somewhat self-importantly write, "None of his gifts, neither talent nor family, appears to have been enough to combat the demons that apparently led Heath to take the pills that could have ended his young life," before closing with a posthumous apostrophe, "Heath, perhaps if you had just re-watched your old film you would have been inspired to stay with us and to have "changed your stars." Sheesh.

This morning, the Guardian, the Telegraph, the Times, the Daily Mail, the New York Times, the New York Post, the Daily News and of course the Sydney Morning Herald all ran front-page stories. But one of the best obituaries we've read so far is from Time magazine's Belinda Luscombe who manages to touch on his dissatisfaction in life, his enormous talent and his untimely death without descending into the maudlin and sentimental.

All of our coverage of Heath Ledger in death and in life can be found here.

First spotted together in Perth, Australia on December 20th, the new couple allegedly spent every day together through Christmas until the 26th, when Heath had to return to the London set of The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. Reports that those dates and shopping sprees had been upgraded to full-on coupledom surfaced in the UK as recently as January 18th, only 4 days ago.

Ledger was born in Australia, achieved some degree of teenaged fame on Australian TV, and decamped for America where he quickly became a likable heartthrob in movies destined to be camp favorites (10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight's Tale probably share nothing in common but stars and fates as nostalgia fodder). His turn as Mel Gibson's son in The Patriot earned him a GQ cover. Then he got serious.

He became both a gay icon and an acclaimed thespian with his role as Ennis del Mar in Brokeback Mountain—and in addition to the Academy Award nomination, people were suddenly bestowing upon him the dangerous mantle of "young Brando."

And while he attacked his share of paparazzi, as all young guns must, Ledger became a New York icon not through phone-throwing and cop-slugging but through embodying a certain mid-2000s trend of quiet Brooklyn cohabitation.

In Brooklyn, with fiancee Michelle Williams, Heath Ledger became a Hollywood actor that the more sensitive among us could love, or at least tolerate. Why? Well, he lived in Brooklyn, wasn't afraid to kiss a dude in Brokeback Mountain, and showed us all that achieving (temporary, at least) domestic happiness was indeed possible. He and Williams went to community meetings to protest the Atlantic Yards development, hung out in the same places the rest of the parents in their neighborhood, took their kid to Prospect Park, and just generally behaved like normal people.

But the relationship ended. Ledger moved into Manhattan and began partying and making the columns in the proper young movie star fashion.

In a November piece in the New York Times (tracked down by commenter TedSez), Ledger, in the midst of playing a criminal psychopath in a perhaps unhealthily Method fashion, admitted to being distressed. He popped Ambien.

And then, some months later, he died, surrounded by pills, in an apartment belonging, according to early reports, to an Olsen twin.

He leaves behind a surprisingly short and almost as surprisingly consistent filmography. And he's survived by a two-year-old daughter, Matilda Rose.

UPDATE (5:20pm): Turns out that it wasn't actually Mary Kate Olsen's loft, as the New York Times initially reported.

Actor Heath Ledger was found dead today in a Broome Street apartment, apparently from a drug overdose, PageSix.com has learned...

We're in shock. Seriously. Can't. Breathe. Updates as they come.

• Heath Ledger Has Died [PageSix]

Although we won't be seeing his pal Jake Gyllenhaal, 26, Heath Ledger, 28, is currently in negotiations to reprise his role as Ennis.

"It will follow the nasty process of being openly gay in 1963 Wyoming, an insider tells OK!.� "Ennis will finally come out of the closet."

No matter that the movie ends in 1983—the screenwriters can easily work around that by setting the action during the months of the year when the forbidden lovers aren't able to rendezvous at their favorite fly-fishing destination. Yes, Escape from Brokeback Mountain promises to mine all the nasty gay processes missed by the original, while setting the stage nicely for part three, Brokeback Revolutions, in which our hero finally reaches the fabled realm of Zion (which looks a lot like a leather-themed circuit party in Fort Lauderdale).

• Heath for Brokeback Mountain 2? [OK]

• Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger amicably split a few weeks ago, a source confirmed to Us Weekly on Labor Day (sneaky!). Was it her haircut? His male pattern baldness? Did the height difference eventually prove insurmountable? [Us Weekly]
  
• Director Wes Anderson says that Owen Wilson is doing very well and "making us laugh." [Us Weekly]
  
• Dina "Lindsay's Enabler" Lohan's new boyfriend thinks she's "classy and intelligent." [Page Six]
  
• Gisele Bundchen apparently thought a Petit Tresor onesie with the word "supermodel" on it would be an appropriate baby gift for her boyfriend's ex's baby mama. [Gatecrasher]
  
• A crazed fan attacked Brad Pitt in Venice. [TMZ]

Brooklynites Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams have hit a rough patch in their relationship.
"They had a huge fight, and they're not speaking," a source told us last week, although a separate spy says things thawed a little over the Oscars weekend. Our spy spotted heath in the company of a gaggle of other women (although not misbehaving) without Michelle on Valentine's day at Teddy's in los Angeles.
Williams responded frostily to a question about their relationship during Fashion Week.

No no no, its nice to see you. I'm just a little distracted.

I'm just in a rush to get to my, um... my very very very close friend's place and I can't talk long because she is very distraught right now. My friend and her lifepartner are going through a little rough patch and I'm like their sort of anchor?

I am always like there for them? And she just really needs me right now. So I went to Cake Man Raven and got some of his famous Red Velvet Cake and have my DVD of Love, Actually, and we're just going to deep condition our hair and talk. You know, that's what friends are for...

But anyway hi. Weird, do you live here now, in Boerum Hill? I can't believe how hipstery it's getting.

Not you per se, I just mean it's getting so popular and full of the blathering blogger scene here, you know? Which makes me worry even more for my friends. It's just that they are in an um... industry that brings them a lot of notoriety and attention? And I don't need to tell you how creepy and relentless the non-famous caste, I mean, zombies, I mean normal people can be to people more successful than them? Especially when the successful people are going through a hard time.

I don't think it's anything big though. It's just that inevitable rough patch that happens to couples after a child comes into the relationship. The elation of caring for a new life wears off, and you have to contend with stomach viruses and earaches and lack of sleep, and your relationship begins to suffer. I mean I saw this happening with Paul and Jennifer after Stellan was born, and Maggie and Peter when they had their beautiful daughter Ramona, and Emily and Allessandro when Sam came.

Codependent? Oh right, your whole childless-by-choice soapbox. Actually no, it's not like that at all.

It's sort of a problem that happens when you are actually successful and fulfilled. For normal, non-noticed people it's hard to understand.

Like, I know you are still single, and, you know, you have your good life and graphic design job and hobbies and a Nerve.com profile and dreams.

But let me try to help you understand: Say you fell in love, finally, with someone who was your soulmate, and you both happened to be beautiful, had tons of money, and were having your ambitions realized.

I'll just pause for a moment so you can really imagine that.

So, you have a little fight with your soulmate, and you just want to walk outside and get some air. But you can't because if you do, some dickhead with a cellphone camera will take a photo of you crying or with puffy eyes and then it will appear on TMZ or some other hateful site and be blown out of proportion and even more add fuel to your own paranoia that something is wrong.

Oh hold on, it's my phone - Ledgey? Hey buddy. Yeah. I'm about to go over there, I just ran into an old friend on the street. No it's cool. They don't have any idea. Sweetheart. No I know you didn't mean it. No I'm sure nothing happened. Those shitty gossip merchants will say any— I know that, and 'Shelly knows that too, deep down. She loves you.

Sweetheart, stop crying. Just let things cool off. You're getting back from LA tonight? No of course you can sleep over. No I don't mind at all. It'll be like our hike in Peru last summer. OK, see you later tonight HeathyWeathy. I love you too.

Ugh, poor guy. He sounds so broken up. He always comes to me when he is sad. He just needs to be held and caressed in a completely open, true, bonding way that I for some weird reason can provide. I guess its because they see that I don't really want anything from them? That I see who they really are? It's hard for them. My friends. Because they are such open channels of honesty and emotion, so unafraid of their feelings, and being successful in their industry, they are like these conduits of emotion for the desperate, American public that have become so disconnected with their true selves because they are living simulated lives perpetuated by the Entertainment Industrial Complex which keeps them from feeling anything real.

Is...is that an Us Weekly in your bag? Funny. No! I'm not judging you. I just think it's funny.

Well I gotta go. Which way am I going? Actually, sorry I'd really rather not divulge that information at this time, not to be a bitch or anything.

I'll just stand here until you walk away. Bye now.

Heath Bars Michelle On V-Day [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
Earlier: From YouTube To Boob

In this week's "celebrities love Radiohead" episode: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore; Tobey Maguire, Kevin Connolly, Nicky Hilton, Ethan Suplee and Sara Gilbert; Anne Hathaway; Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger; Donald Trump, Jeremy Shockey and Keanu Reeves; Annette Benning and Ken Howard; Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillippe, Jim Carrey, Jenny McCarthy, Beck, Marissa Ribisi, Michael Stipe, Renee Russo and Rosanna Arquette; Lukas Haas; Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson; Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale, Michelle Williams, Charlize Theron, Stuart Townsend, Meg White, Marilyn Manson, Adrian Grenier, Scott Speedman; Mischa Barton and Kristin Kreuk; Ben Stiller and Sarah Silverman; Bono; Robert Forster; Margaret Cho; Jennifer Westfeldt; Anthony LaPaglia; Tina Majorino; Jane Fonda and James Spader; Tom Ford; Jessica Biel and Will Arnett; David LaChappelle; Cynthia Watros; Jesse McCartney; Allison Janney and James DeBello.

· Thursday 6/29 @ Century City AMC for Superman Returns. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore with her daughter(s). I can only swear to one daughter because the other girl was the silent doesn't-look-like-Bruce-type. Ashton and Demi arrived without baseball hats or oversized sunglasses at night, though he wore a white bandana, which was kind of cute and not as annoying as you'd think. They arrived long before the lights went down and were looking for two seats together in a packed auditorium... That Guy saw them and provided the embarrassing, obligatory soundtrack: identified them by pointing and screaming both times they passed his aisle. That's right. Twice. Thankfully the other hundreds of people ignored him and them, and let the poor celebrities-without-Arclight-foresight continue on. One of the girls with them said "Mommy, can we sit up front?" Demi said "Sure, be safe, love you" or something sweet like that. She and Ashton finally found two seats in the absolute very back corner of the theater, a move I would have thought by design had I not seen them looking for seats in the middle. If wishes were horses, if movie theaters were elevators in CNN buildings... Despite the D-list seats in Century City, they're an unfairly gorgeous couple who look perfect and glamorous together, even in jeans, sneakers, and white bandanas.

· 6/27 - Went to the Century City AMC 15 for the 10pm first showing of SUPERMAN RETURNS. In the audience was Spider-Man himself, Tobey Maguire - maybe there to see the Spider-Man 3 trailer? while everyone was filing in, he was standing up in his seat seemingly for no other reason than to call attention to himself. After the spidey trailer, people clapped and someone yelled "way to go Tobey!". It was actually pretty funny. Also in his *same row* was Kevin Connolly ['E' from Entourage] with girlfriend Nicky Hilton. Right next to them was Ethan Suplee. Further down the row was Darlene Conner herself, Sara Gilbert. The movie was so-so. On the way out, attention-hound Maguire was signing autographs in the lobby. He's pretty short.

· Been a while since I sent in a privacy watch update. Was at the Gelsons off Santa Monica in West Hollywood on July 3rd trolling for sleeveless men or pregnant women (whatever was on sale that day), and was making my way to the liquor section towards the front on the right hand side. As I got closer, I noticed a girl looking at the July 4th crap in some 'we made it just for today' display case: Anne Hathaway. She was dressed elegantly, but simple. As if she left Ohio, got a make over, and still could pull off the Ohio look..whatever that is.

I was having a fake conversation on a cell phone in order to draw some attention or eye contact from her. Nothing came of it, save for a halfie boner and me getting a 12 of natty light, but it made my day.

Anyway, by the time I was checking out, she had moved over to the beer aisle and was eyeing some Old English. Gotta love that- you can take the girl to hollywood, but Old E is always gonna be as good as Old E is.

· This isn't terribly exciting, but I saw Jake Gylleneyhelehnnhall (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Heath Ledger at the Hollywood farmers' market on Sunday morning. Jake looked normal, and Heath looked like a deranged yeti/homeless man. I looked ok.

· Lunching poolside at the Beverly Hills Hotel on July 4th, and saw a very over-dressed, very yellow-haired Donald Trump walking through the pool area, complete with entourage in tow.

Also, sat at table near NFL star Jeremy Shockey, lunching with one of the Maloof brothers. Dude is tall! Jeremy had two lunches and several cocktails - when does training camp start? Jeremy and Mr. Maloof sauntered over to the poolside bar to chat up a couple of porn stars.... overheard that they were on their way to a party in Malibu. Might want to think twice before drafting J-Shock for your fantasy team...

A little later on, Keanu Reeves walks into pool area in jeans and T-shirt... hair and beard look great, but man... dude is pasty! A little more time in the sun, Keanu!

· Saw both Annette Benning (with spawn of Warren) and White Shadow's Ken Howard at Arclight on Monday, July 3. Surprisingly they were not together. Ken went in to see The Devil Wears Prada while Annette was buying tix after the 2:30 got out. Prada was fantastic, btw, if you are woman, gay man or the White Shadow. Non-Ken Howard straight guys need not apply.

Getting a third row center ticket at Radiohead's show last night at the Greek means three things. One: for a shining moment, I was the envy of all who sat behind me. Two: I got to hear one of the best bands in the world sounding even better live, which is rare. Three: a gaggle of celeb sightings. I saw Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, both in hats "waiting for friends" by the concession stands; New silly-faced couple Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy shielded by security; Beck, who I also saw perform on Tuesday at the Wiltern, along with a friend; Michael Stipe near the men's room; and Renee Russo and Rosanna Arquette (separately).

· at the radiohead show last nite: ryan phillippe and reese witherspoon. not sure what the tabloids are talking about because they looked super cute and in love. also, spiderman and lukas haas with their gfs. impressed at the lack of attitude. everyone seemed to genuinely be there for the band. what a shocker.

· I'm at Radiohead at the Greek last night, section A, row L. One row in front of us: Beck, his wife Marissa Ribisi and another couple, who are (it turns out) also Scientologists.

A guy two or three seats away, almost directly behind them, has a one-hitter, and lights up discreetly two or three times. toward the end of the show Mrs. Beck turns around and screams at him, "Stop smoking that pot!"

Given that we're attending a rock show, this seems like an odd request. Beck escorts her away for a minute and when they return, she (still in a strident, nasty voice) tells the guy on the other side of the smoker (who never lit up—probably the only guy in the row who didn't) that it's ok for him to get high. He replies that he wasn't the one doing the smoking. She didn't seem to believe him, so repeats that it's ok. He tells her again that he doesn't need permission, he wasn't smoking. Finally, she seems to believe him, and lets him know by screeching, "you stink of alcohol!"

This continues for a few minutes, until it reaches a climax when the three of them (Beck, to his credit, never got involved) turn around and start repeatedly calling the guy a Nazi. The guy refuses to engage them; he simply says "good times" over and over. After a few minutes of this, they stomp off, but not before Beck's pal gets in the face of the guy and taking a cue from Brandon Davis, screams "I'm richer than you" (some heard "What religion are you," but that's not as amusing)

But wait, there's more! A few minutes later, Beck's pal returns with a security guard in tow, pointing at the guy he was screaming to. The guard asks if everything's ok, and the says he's fine, enjoying the show. This sets Beck's friend off, as he tells the guard the guy was molesting his date all night long (I guess that makes a better story than "he was making fun of our fake religion"). When everyone else in the section told the guard nothing happened, the guard shrugs and walks off, leaving Beck's pal to stomp off on his own, never to return, In honor of this moment, just about everyone in the vicinity toked up.

Does this mean that getting yelled at by Scientologists will become the new hipster badge of honor? First Jenna Elfman, now this.

· I saw a tophat wearing Adam Brody with a tiny, and extremey hot, Rachel Bilson, together at the Radiohead show Friday night at the Greek.

· Friday 6/30 Radiohead @ The Greek: Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale, Heath Ledger & Michelle Williams, Charlize Theron & Stuart Townsend, Meg White signing an autograph for a girl, Marilyn Manson parading up and down the aisle, Adrian Grenier having a smoke, Scott Speedman again.

· Friday, June 30th: Radiohead concert at The Greek. Spotted Rosanna Arquette making her way out of the "Hospitality" area with a tall, brunette woman. Didn't recognize her companion, but Rosanna looked as if she'd killed the Olsen twins and worn them as a suit to the concert—lots of disheveled layers. Spotted Scott Speedman dashing into the crowd with a small entourage. After going to our seats in the terrace, my friend spotted Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani making their way into the center of the first section. He's very tall and lit by light from the heavens, she's very blonde and still has that pregnancy glow. Spotting them made me like them more—they've got better taste in music than I expected and she's bucking the Hollywood trend of going back to coke-rail thin immediately after having her kid. As they reached their seats, Gavin found himself being hugged by what I thought was a random Bush fan—turned out to be Rosanna, who had shed at least one of the Olsens and bounded up to greet them (they had better seats). Gwen was very gracious to her as they chatted—Gavin looked bored. Caught a few more glimpses of them during the encores—Rosanna was holding up what looked like a Blackberry for the last few songs, but all of them were MIA when the lights finally came up. Oh, and on the way out of the show, spotted Adrian Grenier—he's jaw-droppingly gorgeous, taller than I expected, but his body is a lot more average than I thought it'd be. Nobody seemed to recognize him, and he was with some very average, slightly pasty guy.

· Friday at the Greek
In the middle of a 25-song set, Thom Yorke told the crowd to be quiet during a quiet song (Exit Music) and, for the first time ever in Los Angeles, they gave him the respect he deserved. A real treat. Radiohead just thrashed. Thrashed and destroyed and — oh yeah, Heath Ledger & Michelle Williams in so-so seats off to the side and Haley Joel Osment (2nd night!) in the cheap seats. He's short, but anyone who went to both shows is a trooper, so god bless...

· Yesterday around 12:00 at the Forever 21 at The Grove, I saw a brown haired Mischa Barton in the back corner of the store trying on striped shirts over her clothes. She actually hung her clothes back up after she was trying them on. I was very impressed by that. But, the only reason I noticed her was because I noticed a girl trying on clothes in the store instead of the dressing room.

Same day, same time, Kristin Kreuk was at The Grove in shades, shorts, and a blazer with an okay looking guy. They were looking for somewhere to eat.

· July 4th...

Saw Benjamin "Monkey" Stiller walking on the beach in the Colony today with a couple pals. Despite very dark sunglasses, you could still see there was a Monkey underneath. Nice try Monk...

Also... Sarah Silverman crossing Wilshire corner of Kate Mantilini (meeting at ICM?) dressed way down and looking very mannish. Didn't she recently get on a list of very hot chicks?

I DON'T THINK SO!!! LOOKING VERY FUGLY.

· Call me nuts and I may be, but I think I saw Bono yesterday in Ocean Beach (San Diego).

It was July 4th and "OB" as we call it, was ramping up for fireworks off the pier as happens every year. I was having dinner on Newport Ave (the main drag) and was looking out at the people starting to stream down to the beach. I SWEAR BONO WALKED BY with a (much taller) woman. I'm not a huge U2 fan or anything and I've never studied Bono's photos, but I just got this "vibe". Later, as I headed down to the water for the fireworks, I heard this gal at a coffee window (in a shop facing the street) talking about how she thinks she might have seen Bono. I stopped and we talked and I told her how I got this "vibe"... If so, he just blended in to the crowd and was headed back from the water (before the fireworks) when she saw him. In and out quickly - not to cause a STIR? OB is a throwback beach town and very down to earth and maybe a tad funky :-)

Now, I was born in LA (Hollywood) and went to elementary school with Helen Hunt (have the photos to prove it!),etc. so I'm not very celebrity crazy, this seems like the real thing to me. Any other Bono sightings from So Cal over the weekend?

UPDATE: A reader writes: Update on the San Diego "Bono" sighting over the holiday weekend....the man in question is no doubt the Bono impersonator who fronts a U2 cover band. He's a local and they played in San Diego on July 1st (?) and I actually WENT to see them (my cousin is in love with Bono, okay?)

Funny thing is, he honestly believes he is Bono, or at least an equally valuable and important facsimile. And he name dropped Pierce Brosnan's assistant. We were impressed.

The real Bono wouldn't be caught dead in Ocean Beach anyway. It's a shitbox.

· While the family was visiting from out of town this weekend we had numerous sightings.
Friday 6/30 - Robert Forster having dinner at Mirabelle on Sunset. Saturday 7/1 spotted Margaret Cho shopping at the Sherman Oaks galleria. She was wearing a giant sun hat and was so much thinner than I expected. Sunday 7/2 - Saw Kissing Jessica Stein star Jennifer Westfeldt at Anthropologie on Beverly Dr. Driving west on Santa Monica Blvd. a brand new Aston Martin pulls in front of my car. As we are driving the car pulls up to the driver's side and Huff himself, Hank Azaria is behind the wheel. Looks like he does on TV. Without A Trace's Anthony LaPaglia was wondering around Fred Segal and didn't seem to be having any luck shopping. A short and cute Tina Majorino (Deb from Napoleon Dynamite) was in the Diesel Store on 3rd Street Promenade. Tuesday 4th of July went to the Arclight and swear I saw Jane Fonda - but I am not 100% on that one. I did see a very puffy and not that tall James Spader.

· Friday, 6/30, Century City AMC 15, 4:20 showing of DEVIL WEARS PRADA. Have not been this excited to see a movie since CLUELESS. And to add to my viewing enjoyment, who should sit down right next to me but Tom Ford. He was accompanied by a handsome friend, was wearing that same kind of impossibly fabulous suit that he always wears, and he smelled great. He laughed throughout the movie and chuckled modestly at his shout-out. A great sighting enhanced a thousandfold by the context.

Rose cafe round noon on sunday 7/2...
· jessica biel took a seat with her two buff trainer looking lady friends in the outside patio. jessica was wearing big ol' glasses and looked a little too toned herself - kind of like she did in blade 3.
will arnett came in 30 minutes later with a pal.

· July 4: 2 pm-ish

Where: Will Rogers gay beach section

Who: profilic photographer David LaChapelle with 3 buds, erecting an 8 ft. shade tent in the middle of everyone laying on the sand! Kinda like building a McMansion on an Indian reserve

· Scott Speedman was on my Jet Blue flight yesterday (6/29) from NYC to LA He looked unshaven, unshowered, and a bit unkempt, but entirely delicious nonetheless. Seriously? He is so cute.

· I saw Cynthia Watros ("Libby" ex-"Lost") on July 4 in Whole Foods on 3rd./Fairfax, browsing for bread.

· Last Friday (6/30), I was sitting courtside at the Sparks game and saw Jesse McCartney sitting right by the Sparks bench. All these prepubescent girls kept coming up to him and begging for autographs and pictures. He seemed pretty good natured about it. He was with a cute brunette (no idea who she is since I don't keep up with teenybopper affairs) and played on his cell phone a good 75% of the game. Eventually, they showed him on the jumbotron at which point my ears nearly fell off from the deafening screams.

· Was eating a late dinner on Friday (6/23) at Jerry's Deli in Studio City. In walked ginormously tall and thin Allison Janney wearing librarian glasses and an understated outfit. She was with her son, and I think her husband (he looked a bit young to be her husband, and sort of too good looking for her) and they sat in a corner table, minding their own business and staying low-key. I love me some Allison Janney but I'm not a celeb stalker. I resisted the urge to tell her how I loved her in Private Parts, and I'm jealous she's worked with Howard Stern!

· James DeBello, showed how drunk celebrities get treated in Hollywood.

A clearly inebriated DeBello tried to get into the local watering hole Birds on Franklin, Sunday July 2nd, by barging through a crowd of hipsters sipping beers and martinis. The doorman grabbed the sauced DeBello and refused him entry. He then started yelling, "I never coming to this place again and I'll kick all your asses!" His small stature and lack of sobriety insured that there would be no ass kicking.

He was "assisted" down the sidewalk by two doormen/bouncer types who told him to "go home and sleep it off."
DeBello continued to argue for a while, out of my earshot unfortunately, with the doormen. He eventually turned tail and walked home.

Here is the perennial question: Do celebrities get special treatment in Hollywood? Even if you're a minor, insignificant celeb?