Hugh Laurie.

Definitely not Claire Danes.

Sacha Baron Cohen. Sans mustache.

Hugh Jackman.

I dunno. The bowl-headed-child usually signals the imminent death of a long-running sitcom. In this case, though, maybe he's Emo Phillips hot?

gee whiz emily.....you seem to have gotten over that break-up pretty quickly......

i'm still single, jewish, and available...lol

Timothy Olyphant. That's weird, right?

Paul Rudd
Neel Shah
Jamie Oliver
Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Tommy Lee

Even though she's a hatful of crazy, I'd have to say Angelina Jolie. Or Claire Danes.

you don't have the bandwidth for my response.

Just know that Conan O'Brien is high on the list.

and that John Krasinki's head is the exact shape of a peanut.

a famous one.

Good Christ - Jessica Biel! I may even have to go see "Chuck and Larry," God help me.

Sarah Silverman! Yes, yes, I know.

Claire Daines ? I don't like women who could fit in the overhead compartment. There are few circumstances under which I would not throw down with Eva Green. Even if she were an alien trying to procreate.

I like this Krasinski character, outside of the marriage "film"

Give me Christian Bale or Gerard Butler. Please. Please God, give them to me (and make sure GB likes lady for at least one night).

Beavis & Butt-Head, Ren & Stimpy, Tom & Jerry, Ernie & Bert, Laverne & Shirley, Lenny & Squiggy, Amos & Andy, Pebbles & Bam-Bam, and Mamie Eisenhower.

But oral only.

Joel McHale from The Soup. And Justin Long. And... I know it's so cheesy at this point, but Adam Brody.

They're all gay, right?

Gary Sinise. Brooding-Patriotic-Sexy Hottie.

Edward Norton or Ralph Fiennes, even post-Quantas.

I'm Jewish, not sure what this says about me as they've both played Nazis. Think I'll have to watch The the Night Porter again!

Mark Ruffalo, Joaquin Phoenix, Michelle Rodriguez

Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
Tudors costume optional.

The White Stripes.

Id say Clooney circa Ocean's 11, but he'd probably stop in the middle to text Matt Damon. Those boys!

Dermot Mulroney. Well, maybe 10 years ago it was a little more appealing, but yeah, Dermot Mulroney.

There is no god but Clooney and Clive Owen is his prophet.

The View.

Clive Owen

Emily, I think you failed to correctly define the parameters of your poll. Everyone wants to hump the prettiest people (Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, etc), but that's kind of boring. The real, more interesting questiion is "Who are the unconventional celebs you'd like to do?" which means John Krasinski and Sarah Silverman (and you should be ashamed of wanting that hairy forearmed bitch).

In my case it's Tina Fey. I can't tell you how much I loved it when she did her booty shaking dances on Weekend Update. Especially that "When you got ass like this, you don't hide it in a lab/Uhh, Uh-uh, Uhhh."

I think I'll go to youtube right now...

Robert Downey Jr. The only reason I ever watched anything at all of Ally McBeal.

@LeanOnSheila:
JRM was my Salutatorian. If Sinise cannot fulfill his obligations, then JRM will take over the crown.

demetri martin?

and katsumori from the last samurai.

i'm not sure if they're celebrities.

point is celebrities may have fucked unfuckables like drew barrimore or similar. so it's scary.

@KarenUhOh: Not Popeye and Bluto? Keeping in mind that Sweepea is proof that Olive is doable.

Damien Lewis, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Wentworth Miller. Nearly all gay men. Guess that therapy didn't take.

It's an intriguing question, because most celebrities get their fame from looking like someone people would want to do (high school writ large).

Sorry to be meta.

Were I single, there would be too many to name.

Gael Garcia Bernal. Nothing more to be said.

Duh, Emily Gould, of course.

@Meredith: You'll have to fight me for him!

Emily, is this you filling in for Alyssa Shelasky now that she's retired her blog?

(just joking here, you know I love ya)

Catwoman.

What?

@Scout: Or ... A Sinise and JRM sandwich. I fell for Sinise in "The Stand," I'll admit it.

I got sucked into Live Earth on Saturday and was lamenting with a friend about the complete absence of hot. Didn't there used to be cute guys in bands?

I've always been a sucker for a singer.

Clooney, of course, though I suspect he might be looking at himself in a mirror the whole time. And Joaquin. Absolutely.

Also, Harrison Ford in his prime.

I second Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood? Not when I'm around!) and Johnny K. I'll raise you a Michael Imperioli.

Kevin Smith.

Luke Wilson. Granted this was after seeing him running down the street in a rain storm last summer, soaking wet, plaid shirt, jeans and converse...Bottle Rocket era chin length hair. Hot.

@Macloserboy: No, not everyone wants to hump pretty people. Brad gives me the willies. Yick.

Hey yah. You guys all know that actress? You know, the pretty one, with the vagina? The one who has that pretty nice body.

Yah, that's the one I'd sleep with.

Justine Bateman (still)
Parker Posey
Sarah Polley
Mimi Rogers (still)
Mrs. Schreiber
Katherine Keener
Claire Danes
Gwyneth (don't hate, she reminds me of someone)
Jessica Alba (I hear I have a good chance and that's a turn on)
Vanina Ickx

I have very catholic taste but I don't want to become the pikachumcheidegger of this thread so I'll stop now.

Zooey Deschanel

@Mary Mouse: So, so true.

Elvis.

Bruce Campbell.

If we're talking unconventional celeb, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Jack White. Ed Norton. Mark Ruffalo.
And Ira Glass. That nasal omniscience gets me wet.

Sarah Vowell could Take my Cannoli any day. Wait, does that make sense? And is that just because I live in Park Slope?