Gawker
It's a scenario as disturbing as it is common: Your boss becomes your virtual pal on online social network Facebook. There are defensive tactics you can adopt as soon as you get the initial request. "It's like an unwritten rule that your boss shouldn't add you, or, if he does, than you have the right to slap privacy restrics on his ass," says a young magazine writer who's been "befriended" by several of his superiors. But some employees still wonder how to handle the finer niceties of such a fraught relationship—like, for instance, when your boss sends you a $1 imaginary gift to compensate for a real-world slight or oversight.
"After what was surely my worst week at work ever, which culminated in my boss giving me some bad news about a project I had been involved with—an extra-special Friday afternoon cherry on top of a shitty workweek sundae—I dashed off an email that provided some clarification to her about what had gone wrong with the project. She never replied. Never said anything to me about the email. As in not ever, never. Unless you count the fake box of chocolates on Facebook she sent me the next day," a publishing peon told us.
"Was that supposed to be the response? Is that how life is now? I have a real fucking problem, and I get a fake consolation prize? I guess I should feel lucky she didn't like, give me a Vampire bite or a SuperPoke something." Or, you know, a bar of soap, or handcuffs, or a can of whoop-ass, all of which are also available.
And maybe this lady should feel lucky! After all, there are only 36,205 "boxes of chocolate" left.
Comments
You can send Pho on Facebook? OMGBRB.
wait, let me get this straight. people actually PAY for these things? these have actual dollar values?
This is making me long for the days of Friendster.
@ellagood: I know, this is insane... And why in the name of Robert Mitchum are they of limited quantity?
I keep reading about my boss' break up with his girlfriend on Facebook. Which I suppose is better than when they were together and they both kept asking me to play an online game of Vampires with them.
this makes me long for the days of radio.
@TheHonJudgeSmails:
I'm hoping it's because some of them will become "limited edition" or popular and sell for figures vastly exceeding the original $1.
Nothing would make me happier than watching retarded facebook zombies trample each other to pay $1 for a digital Pokemon or something.
I'd just prefer my bosses to keep paying me. That's all I need, thanks.
@ellagood: You get one gift free. You have to pay for more. So, that fake gift means your boss cares exactly $1 worth about you.
@TheDismalScience: That would be incredible.
@SharonTaint: Or semaphore...
Oh, hell to the no. This make me glad my boss has no idea what the difference is between Facebook or Myspace or Friendster. She can barely keep track of checking her e-mail, let alone creating an account to be seen as "more real" to her subordinates.
Bad grammar is an offense far worse.
give the boss a break--she works in publishing. which almost certainly means she couldn't afford actual chocolates.
My boss keeps asking our team to get Second Life accounts so we can hang out together online. I said my SL avatar was too busy running a brothel for furries, but I'd give her avatar a gift certificate.
Could be worse. I know a guy who gifted a department the free hotel pillow chocolates he accumulated on his trip. How gross is that?
Facebook gifts are lame, and both my dog and my cat have Facebook pages, so you know I can spot lame when I see it.
This sounds like a problem Tionna could solve.
@CatOnMyHead: Does this mean you as a group could second life kidnap him? Sounds like it might be worth a try.
@Wrath of Farrakhan: are you serious? i understand paying to look at pictures of titties that you can't touch but a PIG MASK? a bowl of RAMEN with PORK BUTT? how much are people willing to pay for a virtual douchebag? 'cuz i got an unlimited supply - each for $1.
@Queen of the Passive Aggressives: That does not sound worse. That sounds comparatively delicious, in fact.
So if Mr/Ms Boss sends you a pair of fluffy handcuffs, a can of whoop-ass and ten beers... what does that mean?
@asketchymess: Heeheehee! Pets on facebook can be sort of awesome - it's owner-dependant.
I would like to come into my office and find a REAL creepy-piggy mask on my desk. Then we could all dress up and call each other vrooby wollocks, or whatever.
I'm not joining facebook until someone could send me a virtual handjob™.
@TheHonJudgeSmails: There of limited quantity to drive up the collectors values. Like Pogs. Does anybody here want to trade Pogs?
@xhack: I understand the economics of it, but that doesn't render it any less ridiculous.
Knowing my boss, I'll be getting a Facebook bonus this year. Sigh.
@xhack: I'll trade my Pink Power Ranger for your Jem.
What's the protocol for if I want to friend my boss? Should I just kill myself?
Almost as cool as when you get a new title with your increased workload and no pay increase.
Conflagellations!!
@Cheap Shot:
For the longest times I thought that's what poking was. When people poke me it makes my phone vibrate, which I figured was because you were supposed to keep vibrating phones on your junk.
Turns out I'm autistic! Who knew?
"like, for instance, when your boss sends you a $1 imaginary gift to compensate for a real-world slight or oversight."
The virtual world sure is giving people cheaper options these days. I once had a boss who used to leave gifts of designer sweaters and handbags on my desk on the rare occasions when she felt guilty about stealing commissions from me.
You're merely being treated like an under-achieving child, given a mostly useless cellphone which squeaks out enticing messages like "Hang In There" occasionally. Totally worthwhile.
this makes me long for the days of Fakebook.
I am giving the entire Facebook community the finger right now. You have to pay me a dollar to see it, though.
Weird. I would have thought Denton too cheap to spring for a virtual gift.
Does this mean I can stop sending real gifts to Emily?
@ellagood: What, you're surprised that people pay for worthless crap? Maybe I'm just inured to this after my little brother told me that people pay real money for virtual goods in that online World of Warcraft game. Weird.
If my boss ever sends me a virtual box of chocolates I'm reciprocating with a real life drum kit for his kid.
this makes me happy for evdo and the blarney cove.
Just wait until everyone discovers that the virtual gifts are tainted with lead and PVC. The Chinese economy takes another hit.
Hmm I'm not sure what to do about my boss's latest activities with the food fight application. He threw a lobster at me. That's a rather expensive item to be throwing at me, so I guess I should take it as a compliment? Or is he just trying to flaunt his money?
@atipofthehat: I'm not sure they make virtual collages of semen-stained pictures.
@LolCait: This makes me jealous as I'm not getting paid currently. A fake box of chocolate would actually be nice!
What. Do these people all work for Michael Scott?
That would freak me out. My boss just throws actual fish at me. I work for Lew Zealand.
Instead of joining Facebook, I think I'll just have sex.
@Wrath of Farrakhan: Sure. Your "little brother" told you that.
Since many o'boss appear to be friendless, spouseless, childless, and in every other way alienated you can think of, sending a sub a make believe piece of "Hey, I'm cool. Do ya' like me?" virtual crap, isn't at all surprising. What would shock is if they actually came to work the next day with said item gift wrapped with one of those very non funny Ellen Degeneres Duane Reade brand "Whoo Hoo! It's a side splitter!" greeting cards for like 99 cents.
On another note, Facebook is the spawn of the devil and its reign shall never grace the realm of the Spirit Finger domain. That is all.
This peon takes her job way too seriously.
This makes me long for the days of Vaudeville.
@Wrath of Farrakhan: @TheHonJudgeSmails: Apparently some people do this for a "living."
"She never replied. Never said anything to me about the email. As in not ever, never. Unless you count the fake box of chocolates on Facebook she sent me the next day,"
The fake box of chocolates is her reference to the sage Forrest Gumps idea of "you never know what you're gonna get.. peon "... or that you may have to eat her out like a box of chocolates. Your must be a Gemini.
My friend got the "dick in the box" icon from her cohort in grad school. i'm glad those are sold out.
Shit.. theyve added more of those "hole in gift box" added on there.