Yesterday Dr. William Barr, the prosecution's final witness in the kidnapping and sex abuse trial of lovesexyhatefireman Peter Braunstein, testified as to Braunstein's plans in the wake of his attack and subsequent flight. The South would rise again! (But in the good way!)

"He talked about going to New Orleans because he thought there were a lot of angry people down there and he could provide them some kind of leadership," Barr testified.
He said that Braunstein saw the gang as having "people just like me" and that his speeches would be "mixed with some kind of end-of-the-world philosophy."

Braunstein's plan was interrupted by that whole knife-in-the-neck thing in Memphis, which is sort of a shame. The idea of a throng of beleaguered Crescent City residents marching north until they finally reached 4 Times Square to carry out their leader's ultimate goal of killing Anna Wintour is so rich with fictional possibilities that only a Robert Penn Warren could do it justice. Or Lauren Weisberger. Either way.

Braunstein Wanted to Lead 'Katrina Gang' [AP]

1:10 PM on Tue May 22 2007
By balk
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10 comments

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The Real JR at 12:18 PM on 05/22/07
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"He talked about going to New Orleans because he thought there were a lot of angry people down there and he could provide them some kind of leadership,"

...omg. The plot bunnies are multiplying now in my mischevious brain. Excuse me while I sex-pack some Red Bull and have an all-night furious writing session with this concept at hand.
depardoo at 12:20 PM on 05/22/07
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Is it just me, or is there a trend towards these kooks all being members of the tribe? What ever happened to the good old days when a seemingly-calm, martini-drinking WASP went off the deep end and killed his entire family with an axe?
Slackferno at 12:27 PM on 05/22/07
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But was he going to call his Katrina gang "Alpha Kitty Sisters?"
DeathOrGloryToad at 12:28 PM on 05/22/07
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Isn't Washington supposed to be the Chocolate City?
Ha Ha Sound at 12:29 PM on 05/22/07
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If I ever become a rock star, I'm calling my second album lovesexyhatefireman. Awesome.
sloppy_seconds at 12:35 PM on 05/22/07
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@The Real JR: Not to interrupt your writing bunnies (have I mentioned that I am deeply in love?), but I think this novel may already have been written...

www.amazon.com/ Love-Ruins-Adventures-Catholic-World/dp/0374193029
elsworthy at 12:39 PM on 05/22/07
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Isn't that one of the movie plots they're planning for "America's Next Top Director"?

Of course, if it's Spielberg, Haley Joel Osment will pop out at the last minute and persuade the gang to disperse peacefully with his loveable robot-kid angst, then become Ms. Wintour's assistant, since only he could love her evil.

Hot damn, I gotta get me to the typewriter!
Cheap Shot at 12:39 PM on 05/22/07
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Somebody's having a ball in the art dept over there.
the cajun boy at 01:04 PM on 05/22/07
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fuck it! send the demented, knife-wielding, firesuit-donning rapist on down!!! as someone who originally hails from the "chocolate city" area, you can't get much worse than the leadership of ray fucking nagin.
NOLAchica at 03:10 PM on 05/22/07
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Oh, I'm sure our beloved NOLA could experience worse than Ray Nagin. Braunstein might help us continue to lower the bar...

...and think of all of the lovely Tulane sorostitutes upon whom he could practice his charms. ;)