"Ivared?" "Jaranka?" Too hard to remember. I suggest "Massengill," or perhaps "Summer's Eve."

that picture reminds me of the bar mitzvah pictures where the kid is standing next to the signing board.

kind of appropriate really. his life IS like an NYO themed bar mitzvah.

Yeah, and I'm glad you guys managed to finally dig up a non-matinee-idol picture of him. He looks kind of MSG-flushed and geeky in that shot.

I hope that, if they get married, they have the reception at Balthazar. Then is will be the most important reception of all time.

@hjih: hysterical.

convert, Ivanka. hell, you already converted from an A-cup to a C. keep it going...

he looks like the jewish version of peyton manning.

I don't want to think about them going at it. Mirrors on every wall of their boudoir. Smears of bronzer and tan-coloured handprints all over Ivanka's creamy skin. Ugh. I bet even his jizz is bronze-coloured.

I always wondered how Ivanka would look in a sheitel. Shiksa appeal, what!?

Ugh, trying to find a cutesy amalgam of their names is like speaking shitty fake Yiddish: "Ach, that one, is he trumping in her kushner yet?"

He's a millionaire?

Some douches have all the luck.

My daughter is the smartest, hardest-working, hottest daughter anywhere -- the only daughter who deserves to carry the name "Trump." And if she decides to be a Jew, well, she'll be the best freakin' Jew ever! All you other Jews better watch your backs, because Ivanka's coming for you!

This message was brought to you by the good people at Tropicana -- with $540 million in sales last year, it's one of the most successful juice companies in the world. Juice -- Jews! Get it? Why isn't somebody writing this down? You're all fired!

@TedSez: i've missed you.

@ellagood: Thanks... It's nice to be back with you here in snarkland.

I'm partial to "Kushka".