Never Throw Your Drink at Anna Kournikova

Anna Kournikova viciously brawls with another woman in a Vegas club, Leighton Meester sings and acts in a video for Cobra Starship, Michael Jackson looked frail on stage at his concert rehearsals and Chris Brown gets shut down by Jay-Z. More »

Sherlock Holmes Will Kick Your Ass, Britishly

Ooh, look. The trailer for Guy Ritchie's new Sherlock Holmes movie is out. And the film's star Robert Downey Jr. seems to be no wimpering Basil Rathbone. No, this here is an action picture. More »

It's Jude! (Miss Law If You're Nasty)

Yes, that beautiful, glamorous woman pictured is none other than Jude Law, whose new look suddenly precludes him from playing nanny to his children, lest he be moved to have an affair with himself. More »

Caroline Kennedy Going On SNL?

Starbucks jobs are now reserved for Yale grads; the rest of us have to try and obtain menial but absurd positions with Kanye West. More »

Britney Spears In $14 Million Book Deal?

Britney Spears will somehow seduce a publisher into paying millions for three books from her; Lindsay Lohan wants to re-seduce Gotham via magazine spread and Dan Abrams keeps seducing actresses. More »

Robert Downey Jr. IS 'Shirtless Holmes'!

Most Sherlock Holmes costumes distinguish themselves through accessories like a pipe and deerstalker hat, but we'd wager that Robert Downey Jr.'s stripped-down take on the character will be far more popular in WeHo this Halloween.

Robert Downey Jr. In Flight! Afternoon Delight!

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Dudes' Night Out!

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Madonna Enraged At Gold Digging

• Madonna has her own Kabbalah counselor on staff to help her deal with her anger at soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie, who is just a terrible gold digger or something. A gold-digging famous movie director who hangs out with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. It's sad, really.
• Peaches Geldof was seen getting "friendly" and "especially chatty" with a rocker-not-her-husband. I can't tell if this item is supposed to be implying cocaine abuse, infidelity or both. [P6]
• Page Six calls the woman who did Sarah Palin's media training, a "top... presentation coach." In what regard, Postie? [P6]
• Rachel Ray on John McCain making ribs: "He was so passionate about the cooking process that he was militant. He has specific rules about everything!" In defense of John McCain, these fascist cooking rules might just be basic sanitation and safety and so forth. It is Rachel Ray. [R&M]
• Tom Cruise may show up at Matt Lauer's roast and be glib. [OK!]
• Miley Cyrus' dad Billy Ray told her not to get distracted from he career by her relationship with that male model Justin Gaston. She told her dad she needs her own apartment for, uh, "movies and,,, popcorn" with friends. Definitely not for premarital sex, which is a sin.
• Angelina Jolie is talking about finally marrying Brad Pitt. Her six hundred kids are talking about her finally marrying Brad Pitt. The only person not talking about her marrying Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt.
• Screw up an Ugly Betty cameo and you will never work in Hollywood again. Just ask Lindsay Lohan. [Scoop]

Everyone Randomly Texting Their Exes

• Sean Penn kissed a man for a movie, and for some reason sent an excited, rhyming text message to Madonna about it. [Fametastic]
• David Spade also sent a text message to his ex-girlfriend, Heather Locklear, because he wanted to make sure she's OK after her drunk driving arrest, and nothing says "I care" like a "U OK? LOL!" [Us]
• Jude Law told everyone he was in London vacationing with his kids, but really he was holed up in his New York hotel room with a dancer for days on end. Like he can't do that anywhere. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie confirms she is demanding more babies. Brad Pitt just looks so exhausted. [Mail]
• Do not offer Tom Arnold a Diet Coke, unless you're some sort of undermining monster. The man's in recovery. [Daily Star]
• Paul McCartney wrote a very special song for Heather Mills. [P6]
• The Philadelphia woman hired by Oprah to run her South African girls' school is suing the talk-show host for defamation. Oprah is accused of saying on TV that the woman covered up abuse at the school. [People]
• Courtney Love supposedly had "gastric band surgery" because she thought she was fat. [Hollyscoop]

'HEY LADIES!'

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Paris Hilton's Implant News Plant

John Mayer And Josh Brolin Shear Their Locks, But Does A Buzz Cut Always Clean Up A Star's Image?

Ah, the buzz cut: that sometimes-risky, sometimes-successful ‘do usually sported by male celebrities when it's required for a role in a military/secret agent/futuristic film or because they need a quick way to change their public image. But no matter what their reasons are for taking the razor to the scalp, the look has roughly a 50/50 chance of working. Two of the most recent stars to shave it all off are Jennifer Aniston arm candy John Mayer and new member of the Movie Press-Generating Lawbreakers’ Club Josh Brolin, and while Mayer irritatingly manages to pull the look off despite his big head ego, Brolin’s close cut reveals a bit too much skin. Which immediately made us reminisce on buzz cuts of the past, both the bad (Hey, Jude), the good (pre-Scientology Tommy C.), and the very ugly (Attack Of The Killer Umbrella-Bearers): More »

Is Katie Holmes' Severe New Bob A Stealthy Way To Extricate Herself From Her Marriage To Tom Cruise?

In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we’ve underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway’s least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate’s "boyish" cut may backfire, it’s a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston’s self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz’s unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake: More »

Jude Law's Celebrity Status Couldn't Get Him A Better Spot At A Radiohead Concert

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We Reveal 'The Curious World' Of Celebrity Drug Users So You So You Don't Have To Buy The Book

A new book claiming to unveil "fun, fascinating facts" about celebrities and their drug habits may just be a collection of ancient quotes and anecdotes. As the NY Post reports today, The Curious World Of Drugs And Their Friends promises sordid tales involving Lindsay Lohan and details from her substance-fueled evenings before cokepants and trees put them on the back burner, but the story they cite from a "friend" sounds eerily familiar to one of our favorite classic Lohanisms from over a year ago. And the celebrities quoted as being "unable to talk to anyone without a nose full of cocaine," and having "spent the first 35 years of my life in a fog" due to drugs have either kicked their habits long ago or already (endlessly) confirmed to the world that they were once big league nose candy fans. The stars "featured," and exactly how dusty these quips are, after the jump. More »

Jude Law And Kimberly Stewart Drown Sorrows In Each Other's Pants

Sometimes a new celebrity hookup will bare its ugly-bumping face, and you’re just not sure who to feel sorrier for. Such is the case with Hair Club For Men member Jude Law and rebellious rock royalty Kimberly Stewart. The two were spotted “snogging” in a British dive bar, and fellow Guinness gulpers took advantage of the very touchy-feely moment to snap a few photos on their phone. But given Law’s dating history, especially compared to Kim’s laundry list of raggedy paramours, we have to wonder whether Jude simply thought the newly cropped quasi-star was Sienna through his beer goggles. More »

"And White People Dial the Phone Like This..."

[Actor Jude Law at a small, uncommercial film festival in the south of France today; image via Splash]

Top Five Classic Celebrity Paparazzi Attacks (As Inspired By Sienna Miller's LAX Handbag Assault)

Casual nudity enthusiast Sienna Miller became an official card-carrying member of that elite group of celebrities who unleash their hate of paparazzi by way of physical assault. As the Daily Mail reports, Miller swung her pricey purse at one pap's face yesterday at LAX, possibly because he was a resident of Pittsburgh, or maybe she simply mistook him for Jude Law (as the pictures show, there is a resemblance to the nanny-loving baldie). But Sienna's moment of outrage prompted us to recall our all-time favorite When Celebrities Attack moments in time, from Woody Harrelson's caught-on-tape choke-hold to Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz's romantically executed freakout years ago. Our five top picks after the jump: More »

My Male Pattern Baldness Prevents Me From Lifting Heavy Items

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Naomi Campbell's Bad Luck Streak Continues As Her Hair Decides To Jump Ship

Long ago, we witnessed the frightening effects a bad weave can have on someone like Tyra Banks. Then, we had the misfortune of seeing what happens when John Travolta grew crops of fake hair atop his jolly head. And of course, who can forget Jude Law's T-bone-shaped crew cut earlier this week. But leave it to sanitation worker/phone-throwing criminal Naomi Campbell to reveal the worst and most gruesome display of 'do disasters. Seems even legendary female supermodels who've made a living off their looks can suffer from a condition we've often seen featured on late-night infomercials: ladies losin' their hair. The evidence lies after the jump. More »

Jude Law In Bitter Struggle To Save His Hair

When we first saw some screen shots from Jude Law's upcoming My Blueberry Nights, we couldn't help noticing the actor's abundance of messy highlighted hair atop his winky visage. Especially when compared to his respectable, but ever-so-slightly receding hairline in Alfie. And after being photographed in London recently sporting the beginnings of a George Costanza 'do, our suspicions that his character's curls in MBN were extensions for boys: "

[Jude] is reported to be so worried about his receding hairline that he has consulted a Harley Street expert, in a bid to save his locks."

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Last Film Still Up In Air as Colleagues Remember Anthony Minghella

Details regarding director Anthony Minghella's sudden death early this morning are finally emerging, with the official cause of death now listed as a brain hemorrhage, which may have been a result of surgery he had several days ago to remove a growth in his neck. Harvey Weinstein, a longtime collaborator of Minghella's who distributed all five of his theatrical features in the States (ultimately handling his final film, No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, as a TV pilot with HBO and the BBC), issued a poignant remembrance to Variety: More »

Take this with a grain of salt, but AICN is reporting that Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus director Terry Gilliam has cast Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law to film the remaining scenes that Heath Ledger was to have played. If word from Harry Knowles' camp ends up being true, it'll be quite a score for both the project and the notorious bad-luck magnet Gilliam. While it remains to be seen how Heath Ledger's scenes will be integrated into the final product, we can all agree that this casting news is a definite improvement over Christopher Plummer's vision of using "stills and something I think they call CGI" to save the flick. [AICN]

Former Sexiest Man Alive sash-wearer Jude Law, whose 2004 recognition as the most desirable pretty-boy in all of Hollywoodland capped a year of overexposure from which the too-hard-working thespian never fully recovered, congratulates current honoree Matt Damon on the accomplishment: "'Keep up the good work, Matt,' Law said of his co-star in The Talented Mr. Ripley, at Sunday night's London premiere of his new film Sleuth, before continuing in a rueful tone, "and no matter how badly your horny nanny begs for it—and she will, I assure you—please, don't give in to temptation. Porking the help just isn't worth it. Trust me." [People]

Hollywood Tough Jude Law Accused Of Paparazzo Assault

Perhaps more acutely aware of the personal peril that comes with Hollywood-pretty-boy status following yesterday's disturbing report about Brad Pitt's chilling near-hugging by a crazed Italian fan, actor and recent UN Peace Day ambassador Jude Law was arrested Tuesday after allegedly assaulting a photographer near his home in London. While the official police statement following the incident declined to name the star, its curious description of the attacker as "a 34-year-old man from Maida Vale so handsome that this officer found himself secretly wanting to grab a camera and see if the appealingly boyish rogue would rough me up a bit if I asked to take his picture," a slip that allowed the British tabloid press to make a positive identification of the paparazzo's celebrity assailant. More »

Owen Wilson To Meet His Ghost Of Hollywood Future

· Watch out, Hollywood, because here comes Mitch Albom: Adam Sandler has acquired the rights to feature-writing debut (an untitled baseball comedy, if you must know) of the Five People You Meet On One More Tuesday With Morrie author, whose treacly bestsellers have been previously adapted into housewife-narcotizing TV movies. [Variety] More »

Stalk of the Town: Jude Law's Downward Spiral

The date: Apr 10, 2007 More »

Gossip Roundup: Screech Will Make You Scream

• Screech — er, Dustin Diamond — has a sex tape on the loose, which depicts some sort of three-way and, allegedly, some Dirty Sanchez action. Which is just about the most disgusting thing we can imagine right now. Mark Paul Gosselaar, by all means, not this. [R&M] More »

There Is Nothing Harvey Weinstein Won't Do For His Oscar-Hopeful Actresses

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Studios Finding It Harder To Slip A Long-Delayed Stinker Past A Better Informed Public

Today's NY Times uses buried-in-2005-and-grudgingly-unearthed-in-2006 film All the King's Men and its "humiliating box office returns" to illustrate how difficult it's become for studios to Febreze away the lingering stink of bad buzz in the Age of Too Much Information. In the case of ATKM, nearly every possible warning sign of eventual multiplex stillbirth was there, from a sneak preview of a regrettable Sean Penn period hairstyle, to the transparent, time-honored "this film needs an additional year of editing—hey, we're perfectionists!" excuse, to its interment in the September Oscar Hopes Burial Ground. Says the Times: More »

Gossip Roundup: Jude Ditches Sienna for Sadie

• Oh no he DIDN'T: Jude Law has ended his relationship with Sienna Miller and is reportedly moving back in with ex-wife Sadie Frost, who has not aborted any of his babies and tends to employ fuck-worthy nannies. [Mirror] More »

Trade Round-Up: Rakish Jude Law To Be Accused Of Romancing Cameron Diaz

· What did Paramount get in the DreamWorks deal? Half of anything Steven Spielberg does (even if he fools around with other studios), distribution rights for DreamWorks Animation films, and in a less-reported concession, Brad Grey gets to pat Jeffrey Katzenberg on the head and call him Lil' Buddy any time he visits the lot. Get it? Because he's short and adorable! [Variety] More »

Gossip Roundup: Jude and Sienna Are Thankful for the Drama

• Rush and Molloy report that Jude Law and Sienna Miller are seen sucking face at Balthazar, while Page Six claims the two were having a screaming match outside the very same venue. Balthazar brings out a range of emotions in us, too. More »

Law And Miller Back Together, Hit The Lanes

It seems that Jude Law and Sienna Miller have put all sexual extracurriculars involving child care professionals and iconic super-spies behind them, as the AP reports heightened levels of conciliatory cuteness at the Casanova premiere on Sunday. The night before, one of our operatives spotted them healing over some gutterballs: More »

The Pretty-Boy Trade: Sienna Nabs A Leo

The international black-market trade of pretty-faced, androgynous leading men continues unabated, as reports have surfaced that Leonardo DiCaprio has been put up for sale by longtime girlfriend Giselle Bundchen. Girlie-boy epicure Sienna Miller, who only recently brought in a pretty price for one slightly-used Jude Law, put in a bid immediately: More »

Trade Round-Up: Also, They Aren't Comfortable Releasing The Movie Until They Know What's Going On WIth Jude And Sienna

· Sony pushes All the King's Men to next year's Oscar season, pretending that they'd have to rush the post-production process to make its original December 2005 release date. We always love that excuse. [Variety] More »

Blond Bond Boning Sienna Miller?

If you're going to try and figure out the current status of Jude Law and Sienna Miller's relationship, you might as well ask your neurologist to stab you in the brain with a Phillips-head screwdriver and save yourself some time. People collects a denial about the latest British tabloid report on the nanny-punishing pretty boy and his humiliated ladyfriend: More »

Gossip Roundup: 'Sup With Sienna Miller's Womb?

• Did Sienna Miller miscarry cheating beau Jude Law's baby? Perhaps, although it's equally likely that if there was the loss of a baby, it might've been a bit more intentional. We're just sayin'. [R&M] More »

Sienna Miller WombWatch: Little To No Progress Made

It's been over a week since the tabloids knocked on Sienna Miller's stomach to listen for the echoes of an empty womb, or the telltale dull thud indicating she's full of the product of nanny-probing fiancée Jude Law's turbulent love. The tabs, unfortunately, are still getting maddeningly mixed signals. From Rush & Molloy: More »