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94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.
Last week, ABC announced that they've greenlighted a half-hour pilot starring the Geico Insurance cavemen. The show reportedly will be called..."Cavemen."
While Geico will have no creative control of the plot, they will receive a royalty payment for use of the characters. "We sell insurance; we don't make TV shows...We are excited to have an opportunity to do a brand extension," understated Ted Ward, Geico's VP of marketing, as he simultaneously pissed and shit the pants of his Joseph Abboud suit.
NBC apparently turned down the cavemen pitch. However, the Peacock, as well as CBS, FOX and the CW, are all mulling over some other hastily-conceived ad icon sitcom treatments submitted by jealous, hacky copywriters.
DoubleDouble—starring Natalie and Nicole, the Doublemint Twins, and Vince & Larry, the Crash Test Dummies. Maybe Vince is a Goofus character, Larry a Gallant. Scenarios: The Dummies would always be trying to sneak backseat quickies with the Twins between crashes in the testing lab; The Twins could invite the Dummies over to watch NASCAR, Crash, etc. [Ed. Note: It went so well for Katey Sagal's twin sisters!]
The Bod Couple—starring Mr. Clean and Brawnyman, and set in and around the gorgeous Chelsea NYC duplex apartment of the happy-go-lucky lovers. But instead of one slob and one neat-freak, we have here one man who favors traditional products while the other insists on green cleaners. Hilarious tension ensues weekly. [Ed. Note: Also: buttfucking!]
Easy Company—Set in a sleek slick Silicon Valley tech company, two goofball junior web designers (the "I'm a Mac" guy & ?) secretly use a magical Staples Easy Button to finish their work at the last minute. Scenarios: always losing the Button, natch; taking the Button to bars to turn prudish SanFran hippie chicks into nymphos; etc.
Related: The Vivid Entertainment Group announced via press release that they've signed Bob the Enzyte guy to a one-year, 1,000-movie contract.
Earlier: The Axe Effect
Comments
This campaign jumped the shark a year ago. The fact that it's being turned into a sit-com, a genre that jumped the shark 10 years ago, is case in point. Also, that fucking cockney gecko makes me want to smash my television. Why does he have to sound like David Beckham, Mike Hughes? Whyyyyyyyyy?
okay, team. we need a name for this new show about cavemen, something like 'cavemen' but better. we make the announcement in 30 minutes...
I want to see the "Cavemen" show. I'm not proud of this. But I still say it's less sad than "Deal or No Deal."
Next up, The Slowskys will be getting a record deal.
I want them to do a sitcom about the only good Geico ad ever, Burt Bacharach singing "I got hit in the rear."
It can be him singing "I got hit in the rear" for a half an hour, and it will still be better than anything those cavemen ever did. Unless they bring in a retarded, rapping caveman. Nothing beats that.
"I hope I never get hit in the rear again" is one of the most sublime moments ever. Philo T. Farnsworth, I bless your name for bringing me this joy via your invention.
> The show reportedly will be called..."Cavemen."
I'll just throw this out there: cast this thing with Baldwin brothers and save a fortune on makeup.
Brawny Man's GAY? (bursts into tears)
To be fair, the main caveman guy is a pretty captivating actor (cf. the metal in his voice as he says "I'll have the duck with mango salsa" in one of the ads).
@jobbotch: The caveman guy from the commercials is not contracted for the pilot.
On a seperate note, that geico actually inspired me to make duck-breast with a mango-raspberry salsa. True story.
Beckham's voice is almost in Mike Tyson territory.
I smell Geico Cavemen spin-off: Are you smarter than a caveman?
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