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94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.
Yesterday, Gizmodo, Gawker Media's "gadget guide," posted an Intel ad (which I sent them) that provoked well over 100 comments from those left-brained sprockets and pulleys folk. So, since I am lazy and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is happening in advertising, I thought I'd post the ad here to get the more creative, media-savvy opinions of Gawker readers.
In the comments of the Gizmodo post, there was quite a bit of e-yelling over the supposed racist/sexist overtones of the above ad, which then (d)evolved into a discussion of the equality of all men or something.
Anyway, I'll now give you my expert, former guest FIT advertising class teacher analysis of it. If you're busy or bored, I invite and strongly encourage you to skip these couple of paragraphs and opine away in the comments.
First off, a creative analysis: The ad's execution is hopelessly hackneyed. Wow, sprinters to represent speed? I've only seen that a couple hundred times over the last 20 years in idiotic business ads. You photoshopped one sprinter into six, and crammed them into a "work" environment so's that I would understand that this is a BUSINESS ad, not an ad for a sports drink. Very subtle. Such a nuanced visualization tells me that you, Intel, are a whip-smart company that I'd be stupid not to throw my money at. If a student put this up on the wall, I'd spit on it, rip it off the wall, wipe my ass with it, and then forcibly jam in into his/her mouth. (Like I said, "former" teacher).
Secondly, is the ad it racist? Yes it is. As a slow white man, it offends me to the core of my whiteness. What, Intel, I need to install your Duo Processor thingy in my computer to have the work-speed of a cloned black sprinter, and thusly appease my khaki-panted boss? You know, sometimes, slow and steady wins the race. (Yeah, I know, the best marathoners are Kenyans. Shut up.) Plus, the black men's rippling musculature forces me to contemplate my own physical inadequacies. Fuck you, Intel.
Like I said, you should have skipped it.
Previously: Good Silly vs. Bad Silly
Comments
I'm offended by the shittiness of the ad.
There's actually nothing faster than 9 techies screaming into a conference room for an 8 slice pizza.
I think they're just all going to run into each other, and the white guy seriously needs to pull his pants up.
Regardless of any sexist/racist overtones, I got the impression they were all at a diner and the sprinters were about to start out of their booths.
We all know there's nothing faster than 9 techie guys screaming into a conference room after an 8 slice pizza.
Dude, there's some new Viagra creative on the TeeVee that's just crying out for commentary. Or perhaps it's a cry for help. Have at it.
Sorry for the double post
That ad is raceist. Get it? RACE ..?? No. *crickets*
I'm conflicted. Whitey in the ad is kind of honkie hot.
40% more performance? sounds suspiciously like 3/5 of a person...
Where did they find sextuplet sprinters? And do the chairs in those cubicles now smell like ass?
I've spent more time analyzing this stupid ad than I have wiping my ass this morning. I love Copyranter, but sometimes things are better left to my subconcious.
So if I buy Intel, all my processors will crash into each other and I'll stand in the middle of the debacle wearing khakis and a smarmy expression? Good to know.
I'm offended by the fact that they seem to be in some sort of futuristic dojo. Where do they work, Starfleet Academy?
I'm offended by Khaki pants. So 1990's.
What's funny is how much they resemble the bald mind-slaves of the infamous Macintosh "1984" ad. They may not have thrown off their shackles after all, but at least they're getting 40 percent more computing power!
So I'm not a creative type or anything, but seriously, what's with the font? At first I thought that ad was from 1982, and I kept looking for some reference to an 80286.
And to parrot KUO, they're just going to run into each other and collapse on the floor, which leads me to believe that the chip ain't even going to boot up.
They should have shown the Mac guy buying coke from a black PC. Hell, they could've even had him doing the lines off his iPhone (with the browser aimed at NYTimes.com, natch).
Remember that Intel ad from like 1999 with the guys in the hazmat suits doing some kind of choreography to "Shake Your Groove Thing"? One time, on Christmas Eve, that ad came on and my mom started singing along enthusiastically, "Shake your poon tang! Shake your poon tang, babay!"
Sorry, what were we talking about? I just look for every conceivable opening to tell that story.
It just wants me want to drop trou and hump some fine sprinter ass.
Isn't Intel the same company that tried to diversify their customer base a few years back with an ad that showed people in multicolored space suits -- get it, COLORED PEOPLE? -- dancing to funk music?
@c_webb: Yes. Shaking their poon tangs.
omg that never gets old in my head.
Anybody got a starting pistol?
I think the white guy has a chubby.
What's with the circular air vents and the lights? Kinda phallic.
They look like they are all about to perform somersaults that will crash into each other. Like a set-up for America's Funniest Videos.
@oovy: That is a fantastic story.
@oovy: Opening being the operative word.
Nothing gets me to purchase a 64-bit, next generation, business desktop computer with the latest processor quite like an image of 6 bald headed African-American runners donning Lycra tracksuits and simulating the start of the 100m out of their respective cubicles ...
@oovy:
"Conceivable opening" = "poon tang"
Judging by the response I guess the ad got the efficiency without the efficacy.
"That's it. Good bowing. Now, 40% more scraping, people."
@glitterati:
Oooh, history major hot.
Is the white guy Mapplethorpe? Or Halston?
As a designer, I'm much too offended by the trite concept, the crappy layout, the yawn-inducing copy and the inexplicably weird set design to even begin to comment on whether it's racist. In fact, this ad is so dull, I'm kind of amazed that anyone looked at it long enough to think about its racist overtones.
@DonLaFontaine: Nobody said they were African. Or American. Geez.
Also, who's the FIT ad teacher? Satzman? Is it Satzman?!?
the lynch-ready wood beams on the ceiling are a bit much though, no?
Using Intel causes your hair to become 60% more thick and lustrous, inspiring every bald employee to bow down to your hirsute authority.
The white guy has huge feet, and you know what they say, huge feet = hig processor speed.
it just makes me think of some kind of telemarketing sweatshop. but i do agree, nilla is kinda hot.
This ad is completely prejudiced towards people who give a shit about modern dance.
Shirtless men in jazzy Garth Fagan-ish racing tights. Eurocentric choreographer in khakis.
The next gesture of the shirtless men should be:
Whipping out chainsaws Pina Bausch company style.
Frenetic leaping to Donnie Hathaway ballad Ailey Company B style
Getting into fake pointe and tossing snowflakes made of coke a la Mark Morris Dance Company.
And you know what else they say: Once you go nerdy tech guy, you make a mental note never to go nerdy tech guy again.
@oovy: I hear you have a Christmas timeframe story about your mom and Intel? Do tell...
(thought I would ablige another telling)
My only problem with this ad is that those guys are lined up facing each other -- so when the starter's gun goes off, they're gonna conk heads.
Which would actually be kind of funny, and make it a pretty good ad after all. Too bad it's a print ad, so all they can do is crouch there, lined up for a race to nowhere.
I'm totally messed up, I thought they were swimmers... maybe that's why the concept didn't make sense. Or, maybe it's just a bad ad.
I'm the head of advertising who worked on the sprinter ad... All I can say is "I'm Sorry". We messed up. Big time. We pulled this ad as soon as we received feedback in early June.
The recent ad that people saw was run by mistake. I personally, as well as others at Intel, will make sure that this never happens again.
For more, please see my post at: [blogs.intel.com]
-- Nancy Bhagat, VP Marketing, Intel Corporation
@momo: that would be Intel Inside??
I think I have a crush on Copyranter. He makes my cleverity dry up and I'm all tongue-tied.
Wow, people over here are so much more...lighthearted. Okay, back to the grinder...
Thank you sir, may I have another!
Besides the obvious racist issues, this sort of ad would normally get my feminist dander up (in the old "man=the norm, female=The Other+girlie and/or period-y stuff"). However, this ad, as others have pointed out is so, SO crappy, that I'm quite glad it is XX free.
P.S. I know I shouldn't get so upset about white, smarmy, khaki-clad men representing the Ideal of the generic product consumer. I'm considering seeking therapy for this. Also seconds, or twelfths or so, on the head-conking point.
"Lies Will Disguised"?
I don't get what's racist about this ad... Unless you're talking about blacks only making up ~ 13% of the population, yet 6/7ths of this ad.
Seriously though, people these days get offended at the stupidest sh.. stuff.
Racist? I think that inserting white track stars with a black computer dude would raise a whole new series of questions...
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