Hey, good morning. How are you? Doing OK? Good, good. Here, let us take your coat. Grab yourself a coffee, a muffin — we've plenty. Yeah, those multiberry ones are delicious. So, got a second? Yeah? Great, take a seat, make yourself comfortable. We need to talk.

As you may have heard, Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized on Monday night after suffering a "severe asthma attack" in Miami. Now, we know you're an adult and we don't want to be nosy, but we're sure you've probably experimented with asthma, or the "gasps," or whatever you kids are calling it these days. Having once been wild ones ourselves, we can't tell you not to get into asthma — you're going to do what you're going to do. What we can tell you is that it's dangerous, and no matter what Lindsay Lohan might say or do, asthma is not cool.

Whew. That was uncomfortable, but we're glad we got to address the issue. Tomorrow, if you're feeling up to it, we can talk about bulimia and Wilmer Valderrama.

Lindsay Bares All in a Shocker [NYP]

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