MAKE THIS STOP.

I didn't know that Kerik was part of this whole menage-a-twat!

Aww. Awhorable.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Thank you.

Oh dear. Someone please go check on VenusCloacina. It's possible her head has just exploded.

No pressure. You just now have to get married and make the babies just to appease the masses.

We really need to bring back the draft.

HA, I love Diane Sawyer. We have to explain gob-smacked, because you're AUSTRALIAN you little ROO.

Let's hope he date-rapes her!

Whew! Thank god she explained what gobsmacked means. I didn't know WHAT was going on.

Whatever, I just hope that dress she's wearing has an important role in the eventual sex tape.

i just threw up in my mouth a little.

I thought that was drew barrymore.

Hee hee nervous body language vague story please don't find us out.

Also, are you seriously telling me that when her house was on fire, causing her to lose most of her clothes, the one outfit she valiantly grabbed to face her week with was her blue gym shorts and blue tights?

That's it. I'm moving to Belgium.

DIANE SAWYER: You have to tell me what you saw that moved you so profoundly that you would launch this kind of quest!
PAT MO: A girl with $$$$$$ in her hair!

I didn't know that the term "gob smacked" was limited strictly for Australian usage.

Yeah, as a publicist I can vouch that Good Morning America will just book anyone! They don't let being one of the most popular shows in America make them at all picky about who they let on, and you totally don't need some king of major push to secure a booking. Why, it could happen to YOU!

Wait. He's wearing the same clothes as in the vimeo video! great branding!

I used to think he was adorable. Now he's gone douchy. I hope the sex sucks.

A lesser man might be embarrassed to even admit this realization, but is he wearing the exact same thing he wore in the original "Patrick discusses the girl of his dreams" video?

I'm telling you people - total Man of the Year potential.

told ya so.

I have the worst second-hand embarassment right now. Even worse than when I watch "The Bachelor".

I hope their inevitable breakup is just as widely publicized.

I didn't get a teevee interview after I picked up my (now) bf at the bar after drinking many beers and shots of jaegermeister, taking him home with me and doing stuff that I don't remember.
She'll be tired of him in a month...

Fuck these Lloyd Dobbler motherfuckers, this is only going to start a chain of copycat events and a surge in restraining orders.

"I heard the odd sounds of Bright Eyes and genitals being mashed together backstage. They sounded like wedding bells to me!"

@Shanghaibaby:
i know! lose the fucking hoodie.

@Shanghaibaby: Word.

@rod: We really need to bring back dunking.

He's possibly gay with a bad haircut and Australian Julia styles will drop him like a hot potato after he refuses to go 'down under'.

@GayatriSpivak: You are a sick puppy.

Instead of this, more Julia Allison coverage please.

Sigh. Even I'm done defending these fuckwads. Day 1 was normal, but day 3 is like a full fucking zombie virus meltdown leprous puss ooze.

I love how, in Australia and New Zealand, the word "no" has 6 or even 7 syllables.

I don't know what pisses me off more, his hair or this farce of a freakin story.

When Geeks Attract!

I'm really tired so I hope that wasn't already written somewhere today.

@Cheap Shot: I just don't see him throwing his shrimp on the barbie.

My god, woman! Your earrings are larger than his face!

Isn't anyone attractive anymore?

In english please!

When she mentions the subway, and they cut to the clip of the subway train coming in and people getting off? GREAT television.

I'm looking forward to seeing Al Roker tells jokes while the happy Camille -- with adorable self-conscious Patrick doing something tic-ish with his hair! -- gives birth in front of a live studio audience.

@collegecallgirl: Your arm's too short to box with Gob!

I think that the fact that I think this is a huge marketing ploy makes me both cynical and sentient. And nauseous.
Plus, "worldwide internet sensation"? Hyperbole much?

@GayatriSpivak: thanks for elevating the conversation, bro. Also, go to hell.

She was cuter and more normalish than I expected. He, on the other hand, has clearly been in front of the mirror for 72 hours practicing the perfect timbre for tomorrow dusk's quiet proclamation that this song will change her life.

What about: they went on GMA because they could (and even Aussies are attention-seeking whores), and GMA asked'em to because they're fresh out of writers.

He's totally going to bore her. A girl with hair like that can't be tamed. I'm sure Julia Allison is pissed these two are stealing her fire.

Um, Patrick, you went to all that trouble for... that?

Her house burned itself down because it was repulsed by her outfit. It was hoping to singe her collection of hair-flowers, but unfortunately she grabbed them just in time.

This is like an ugly baby.